Message in a bottle

Someone has leased my brain to someone else. I am sure about this. I don't know who these someones are but I can hear the second someone inside my head. For convenience sake, let me call him lessee He is a chatterbox. He has something to say all the time. He does not stop. Fortunately, he is not loud. I can't hear him when I am with someone or deeply engrossed in some activity. But the minute I am by myself and not focusing on something, I hear him. At these times, he comes up with some highbrow thoughts. I ignored these for a long time I ignored. But I am old now and my resolve is falling apart. I have given into this guy and listen to him intently. I even talk to him these days. These conversations usually take place when I am in my bed waiting for sleep to come by or driving or walking down an empty street. One day, I was stuck in  my car in a traffic jam. Some loud music was blaring out of the car stereo. I was moving my head back and forth to the beat but the music did not register in my head. I looked around and saw the people in the neighbouring car stare at me. I could no longer hear lessee's voice. I realized I was having an intense argument with lessee. I was not head-banging as I had thought but was waving my hands and head to stress my points during the argument. I put down my hands that stood frozen in mid-air and placed my head on the head rest and closed my eyes. "Hey, play Elephant talk" said lessee. I took off from my seat screaming shut up and hit my head on the roof of the car. I sank back again embarrassed. I did not turn right to look at my neighbours. Instead I changed the track on the stereo and listened to Adrian Belew sing.

Talk, it's only talk
Arguments, agreements, advice, answers
Articulate announcements
It's only talk

Lessee remains quiet when his favorite tracks played on the stereo. Unfortunately, he only liked 5 or 6 tracks. Wait a minute. What? It is not 5 or 6, is it? Ah! Its 8 tracks. Ok fine; I will correct it. No I don't want a listing. I know the songs you like. Stop. Fine, go ahead. Ok, that's one, two, three and oh yes that one. Yeah, four, five. Damn! You like that song? Serious? That one's sappy! No, it's not profound; it's sappy and saccharine laced. Oh come on, don't start singing it. Stop! I agree it is profound; go ahead. That's it! What do you mean that's it? That's six songs but you said eight. Oh no! You did not say six, you said eight. Yes you did. I did not say eight. I said five or six and you stopped me right in the middle and said its eight. I have a feeling you are trying to bomb my writing. Just shut up, this is work and do not disturb. I am not getting into this argument. Just be quiet. 

My apologies for this annoying diversion. I recorded the conversation here to show how annoying it can be to have someone  arguing with you all the time. I am so frustrated that I want to do something to him. But I have no idea how to get to him. So he goes on and on and on about philosophy, religion, stars, god and god knows what else. I tried to use some of the things he mentioned at my workplace in an attempt to look intelligent. Everyone stopped working, looked at me with concern and advised me to not work so much and to take it easy. I was shocked. As annoying as he is, I think the guy has some very interesting thoughts. I have a huge respect for his intelligence. But somehow the world around does not think so. 

So why am I writing all this? That is a good question. As a matter of fact, a very good question. One, I was told to do so by him. The second reason is a secret and I want you all to keep it so. If the guy gets a to hear this one, I will be in  trouble. So please, do not discuss or mention it when I am around. Can someone help me to get rid of this guy? He does not let me sleep. Some nights he talks till midnight and then resumes at 3:45 am. I only get three and half hours of sleep. I can't live like this anymore. Oh! Please help me to get rid of this guy. I have another big worry. I think the guy is taking over. I am becoming more like him. Soon the original me will disappear I will become him. The people who know me will not believe this. I have started colouring and painting. Boooo hoooo hoooo. Can you all believe it, me and art? This is not me. Please help.

SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS