Jump to conclusion

The flight was late by 30 minutes.  At 4 am, that seemed like a delay by 3 hours.  People were tired of sitting and trying to stave off sleep.  Everyone crowded by the gate and looked intently at the airline representative, who carefully avoided eye contact with any of the waiting "guests".  There were a number of foreigners and they too were a part of the crowd - India seems to have brought out the Indian in them.  Finally, when the time arrived, people created a thick line, about 5 people thick.  In front of me was a white man who had shaved his head and was wearing a black t-shirt and denim pants.  There was a tattoo of a fancy skull on his left arm; another tattoo on his back was peeping out of the t-shirt.  I was reminded of all those Neo-nazis I had heard about and my mind was made up - he is from Germany and he is a skinhead.  A question  perplexed me though "what is this guy doing in India?".  We were up in the skies soon and I was able to snatch a few hours of sleep.  A few hours later we touched down at the transit point.  There was not much time for the next flight and I was hurrying through the transit.  At the security check, I put my luggage through the scanner and started repacking stuff back into place.  Suddenly, I heard a soft voice saying "Excuse me, sir" by my side .  I turned to see the assumed skinhead holding a useless piece of paper that fell out of my bag. "I think you dropped this sir" he said with a smile.  I took back with a sheepish smile and said "Thanks".

About Kadal

“Viswaroopam” did not release on the expected date in Chennai. Many people booked tickets a week ahead but  a day before the release Government became responsible and banned the movie. "Sentiments are very important" they said. "If sentiments are hurt, peace will be lost" they reiterated and banned the movie in Tamilnadu. The people who booked the tickets suddenly fell from their position of envy. To make things worse, all around the world people were watching the movie and Facebook was filled with comments on this being one of the best entertainers from the one and only Ulaganayakan. The angst filled Chennai-ites spent their lunch and coffee breaks discussing their unlucky fate – conspiracy theories ran haywire in people’s mind. Political parties soon jumped in the fray and started throwing accusations and counters at each other. The hurt sentimentalists continued to protest shaking their heads and beating their chest with their fists in anger. Meanwhile, the person responsible for this tamasha, the one and only Ulaganayakan, spent his life on newspapers and television reminding us of Jim Carrey  in "The Truman Show" ("Good morning! Oh in case I don't see you again good afternoon, good evening and good night" is a line I can never forget). A big part of the first page of “The Hindu” seemed to be reserved for “Viswaroopam” every day. The one and only ulaganayakan is now one step away from becoming a martyr for freedom of speech – in the Jesus Christ – M.F.Hussain spectrum. “This is a sad day for freedom of speech”, “My heart bled for him”, “We are with you Kamal sir”, “This could happen to anyone”, “Power star is a star” and many such words flow out of many esteemed mouths. In midst of these events of universal proportion Maniratnam released his latest movie “Kadal”.

'News about “Kadal” started trickling in a few months back with the news that Karthik’s son and Radha’s daughter being the lead pair. The two parents made their debut many years ago in Barathiraja’s much hyped up romance (the most romantic movie of the 80s!) and people started talking about their children coming together in a Maniratnam movie. This seemed too jingoistic for Maniratnam and his saying that it happened by chance did not seem too convincing. Soon Rahman played a song from the movie in some concert and it became a rage. A little later the album came out on the web and it turned out to be a rage. Every mp3 player and all radio stations played the songs all the time. For many days, I religiously played these songs first thing in the morning. Everyone's expectations were on a high when the trailers came out on YouTube. It was a long trailer and seemed to show the movie in its entirety.  I personally did not mind it; it seemed quite unlike a Maniratnam movie – a bit loud and commercial. Some people commented on FB that the trailer turned off their interest and that the hero’s face was made of wood (that is probably true when compared to someone like Sivaji Ganesan but many of us prefer faces made of less elastic material than Sivaji’s). I thought the movie was supposed to be released on Valentine’s day but one day in last week of Jan I saw a picture of the hero jumping up in ecstasy with “Feb 1” written behind. No “Viswaroopam” Yes “Kadal” said my mind.
Life was a trifle busy that week and I missed booking the tickets (and so the yes had to be turned to maybe). All the first day shows were full and for some weird reason Satyam theater was not open for booking on the web (it opened and closed for Escape in a jiffy). Speculations on why Satyam was not open poured in – I was of the opinon that they were waiting for a last minute entry of “Viswaroopam”, another guy said that Maniratnam booked all halls in Satyam for the weekend for his people to see (whatever that means), still another said that Satyam always was opened in the last minute. Whatever the reason, I had made up my mind that I had to keep “Kadal” off for a week or two.

A day prior to the release, I got desperate and started asking people if they could get me a ticket through magic (recommendation type).  A good colleague took pity and SMS-ed me late that night - Satyam has opened up tickets on the web.   I wondered which of our theories about Satyam not being open were right.  Anyway, I was excited at the prospect of getting a chance at the late hour to watch the movie on day one (from day two people's comments start pouring in and that might reduce the fun).  I opened my laptop connected to the web and got into the Satyam website.  Sure enough ticket across different classes were available for the 10:30 pm show and that too in the large hall (what in my younger days was referred to as Satyam; the other two being then called Santham and Subham).  I logged in and placed the request to select my seats.  The next screen went back to the first screen that listed all the movies again.  With a "what the hell" I ran through the same process and with the same result.  I tried again - no difference, again - no difference, again - no difference, again - no difference, again - no difference, again - no difference and then the premium class tickets got sold out.  I went back to again - no difference, again - no difference, again - no difference, again - no difference, again - no difference, again - no difference and then the next class got sold out (don't know the name of the class).  I called the good hearted colleague, he said he was facing the same issue.  The explanation was that the ticket counters are open till 10:30PM and till then online bookings are not allowed. Now exasperation and desperation started playing havoc and my laptop's touch pad bore the brunt of the attack.  Clickety-clack I went on for a few more minutes.  Clickety-clack, Clickety-clack, Clickety-clack, oh god let it work just once, Clickety-clack, Clickety-clack, oh god let the economy class not turn red, Clickety-clack, Clickety-clack, Clickety-clack, Clickety-clack.  Suddenly the theater layout came up and I saw that there were a few seats left.  I quickly selected the seats on the fifth row from the screen.  I did not forget to thank god for I needed his/her blessing for a bit longer.  The damned bank should not mess up the booking.  With shivering hands, I typed in my credit card number with all those other details they required to be sure I am I.  Minutes passed and my prayers continued to bother god who must have by now been tossing and turning on his bed.  I know that god was an early sleeper and he/she must have been frustrated by this guy pestering him/her with those damned prayers for the damned tickets for that damned movie (all those "damns" are from God and not from me).  Finally, I though I heard God scream at the bank's servers "Just pass that damned transaction.  That damned fellow is messing up my sleep.  Let him watch that damned movie".  The next moment the ticket appeared on the screen and my phone gave out the sweet beeps confirming the arrival of the ticket.  I said "THANK GOD" and god said "NO MENTION".

The next day I ran over to my colleague's seat to give him a hug but converted it to an emotional "THANK YOU".  He said "No mention".  "Good heavens" I thought "same voice, same diction, same words; could this be god?".  "The guy is not a rascal" my thoughts continued "so he could be the one but he is too lean to be a god.  Naah, no way, he is too lean.  Since all of us are god's children he seems to have inherited god's words, voice and diction".  I cut this pointless thought process and went back to my seat.  I passed that day doing what I did best - meetings, mails and "vetti pechu". Evening came and passed into night.  Soon that time commonly referred to as 10:30PM came by and I was in the theater.  It was the good old non-multiplexy theater, where the seats looked up to the screen rather than the lecture hellish looking down at the screen.  We wowed a bit at the feel and the size of the theater and then Mani and his epic saga came on screen.

My intention when I began putting down this piece on paper was to give my thoughts on the movie "Kadal".  I had made up my mind to make it intelligent and detailed.  Possibly something that would be used as a prime example of movie critiquing in the Indian Institute of Movie Review Writing (IIMRW).  But when I began writing I felt the irresistible urge to give it an introduction to give a perspective to the discerning reader of the chaos that existed at the time of the release of “Kadal”.  That irresistible urge turned out to be a irresistible itch that stretched on for a few days.  When the time, finally, came up to write the review a week had passed (right down to the hour actually) and the movie has started slipping out of my mind.  Now, I am not sure if the movie opened with the Arjun-Arvindswamy sequence or the sorrowful child sequence.  That pretty much throws the intelligence and details out of the French window.  I am now desperate to finish this damned write up and press the publish button (this damned is from me and not from god).  But there is a problem; I continue to write stuff, which has no relevance to the movie and I have not even started the review.  So there goes my one chance of being an expert – I have to leave that to my good friend who has already had an impact on my feelings for Kadal (I went through his review on the blog and talked to him yesterday; I am contaminated now).  So here is an abridged and not very intelligent thoughts on the movie Kadal (with hopefully very little contamination).

The first fifteen minutes of the movie were awesome.  The scenes touched many a raw nerves.  The titles come in with the pumping "Magudi" in the background.  But post that the the main character starts growing up and the flow of the movie gets jerky.  More than anything what makes a movie captivating is the flow.  When the director gets the flows of the movie right, it results in an enthralling experience for the viewer.  The two recent examples I came across were in the movies "Aakashathinte Niram" and "No country for old men".  The former a luxurious rumination on life and the latter a violent cat and mouse game that takes its time to build and runs into an abrupt end.  These movies were not about what they say, the focus was on the how.  The "how" seems to be more important than "what".  In "Kadal" Maniratnam seems to have focused on the "what", which in this case is a fight of Biblical proportion  between "Good" and "Bad".  The "How" ends up not focusing on any of the characters and ends up being a mess.  Maniratnam has put for too many characters and focused on too many aspects and relationships between them - by the end, none of them seem developed enough for us to care for.

The concept of the movie seemed fine; the cliched good vs. bad played out by a few engrossing characters.  The interaction between the good and bad was electric.  Arjun and Arvindswamy took care of their roles quite well.  The hero was good - expressive but with a slight first film feel.  I am not quite sure what I felt about the heroine though.  Some of the scenes left a very good impression on me, especially the first scene between Arjun, Gautham and Thulasi.  But others seemed underdeveloped, like the one in which young boy breaks down and cries for his mother in front of the priest.  The annoying thing that goes on between the hero and the heroine seems a bit too flimsy and ends up being filmy.  The movie is thus an inconsistent experience that lost out on my interest after the first twenty minutes or so.  The first half  was a decent fare but as the movie progressed it got worse and ends up with a boring climax.  The climactic fight on the boat had all the cliched elements of a climactic fight.  The sequence that ends the movie is even more cliched.  I thought the movie demanded a certain ending but Maniratnam seemed to have thought otherwise and thus  gave it all a more unsatisfactory feel.  Thus all that waiting and teasers proved worthless in the end.

Let us hope we get something better from the Maniratnam factory next time.

A soap and a banana

The guy extended a ten rupee note and asked for a Hamam soap.  The shop keeper took the money and asked "One Hamam is it?".  The guy responded with "Yes and give me a banana for the remaining amount."  The shopkeeper retorted in a annoyed tone "for ten rupees?".  "Yes" said the buyer.  "The soap cost seven rupees.  There is no banana here for three rupees" said the shopkeeper.  The guy did not understand and ended up reiterating "Give me a banana for the remaining money".  Now, the shop keeper was clearly upset. "You cannot buy a banana here with three rupees.  There are no bananas that cost less five rupees".  The guy seemed zapped and only managed to say "five rupees!".  "Yes" said shop keeper and slammed the soap and remaining money in front of him.

Boy on the bike

I was going back home in auto that morning.  We were under a flyover when a bike passed in front of us.  The rider was in his school uniform.  He must have been in the 11th or 12th standard.  The bike had a pillion rider who seemed tense.  The rider's seemed nonchalant though.  I felt that there was something amiss with the rider.  His right shirt sleeve was lying loose on the side and did not contain his hand.  The guy was riding the bike with a pillion using only his left hand.  Is this brave or bravado?  Is he hardy or fool hardy? Did he deserve a pat or a kick on his back?  I sat staring at the guy with a mixture of shock and awe.

The Muddlehead by Ogden Nash

Poetry was never my favorite and it still is not.  Though I have written down some things that I claim fall under the poetry category, it was done out of arrogance rather than admiration.  I felt the dire need to express myself in that manner at that time.  At the present moment, neither do I have the dire nor the need and so that phase seems to have ended (at least for now).  Of course, there are a few poetic lines and words that come from the past.  The earliest ones are about about twinkling stars being diamonds and the violence that struck Jack and Jill.  The one that affected the most was about Johnny wanting to play and being affected by a downpour.

As time went on, William Wordworth praised a rainbow and Robert Frost expressed his disinterest in sleeping.  Of course, there was that appreciation that Ogden Nash sent to me, the born spectator.  I think that is almost it.  I don't think I can think of any other words from poetry other than "Kister Monductor".  I searched for these words in Google this morning and it tells me about the poem "The Muddlehead" written by our good old Ogden Nash.  "Hmmm, Mr.Nash again.  There should be more to this than a plain liking" said my mind.  So I looked up Wikipedia to find out who Ogden Nash is (or is it was).  I did not get past the first line.  Mr.Nash left this world a few days prior to my birth and so my over ambitious and superstitious mind screams "REBIRTH".  That being that here is what Mr.Muddlehead says and does.

(Ogden Nash)
The Muddlehead
I knew a man from Petushkee
As muddleheaded as could be.

He always got mixed up with clothes;
He wore his mittens on his toes,
Forgot his collar in his haste,
And tied his tie around his waist.

What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee!

They told him as he went about:
"You've got u'r coat on inside out!"
And when they saw his hat, they said:
"You've put a saucepan on your head!"

What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee!

At lunch he scratched a piece of bread,
And spread some butter on his head.
He put his walking stick to bed,
And he stood in the rack instead.

What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee!

He walked upto a tram one day
And climbed in very sprightly;
Conductor thought that he would pay,
Instead he said politely:

"Parding your beggon,
Kister Monductor,
I'm off for a week's vacation;
I stop you to beg your cramway tar
As soon as we reach the station."
Conductor got a fright
And didn't sleep that nite.

What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee!

He rushed into the first café:
"A railway ticket please, One way."
And at the ticket office said:
"A slice of tea and a cup of bread."

What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee!

He passed the man collecting the fares,
And entered a carriage awaiting repairs,
That stood on a siding, all by itself.
Half of his luggage, he put on a shelf,
The rest on the floor, his coat on his lap
And settled himself for a bit of a nap.

All at once he raised his head,
"I must have been asleep"- he said.
"Hey, what stop is this?" he cried
"Petushkee," a voice replied.

Once again he closed his eyes
And dreamt he was in Paradise.
When he woke, he looked about,
Raised the window and leaned out.

"I've seen this place before, I believe,
Is it Kharkov or is it Kiev?
Tell me where I am," he cried.
"In Petushkee", a voice replied.

And so again he settled down
And dreamt the world was upside down
When he woke, he looked about,
Raised the window and looked out.

"I seem to know this station too,

Is it Nalchik or Baku?
Tell me what its called," he cried.
"Petushkee' a voice replied.

Up he jumped: "It's a crime!
I've been riding all this time,
And here I am where I began!
That's no way to treat a man!'

What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee