An ode to me

For what! For whom!

Four whats. Four whoms

In a line, next to the other

Looking like trains

On parallel tracks with one going

"What! What! What! What!"

And the other

"Whom? Whom? Whom? Whom?"

Their eyes meeting each other's

From time to time

Going on like this forever

"Why four?" you ask 

"Why not nine!" you challenge

Mmmm hmmmm hmmmm

"Why not nine!" I ponder

Nine whats and nine whoms 

When placed in a line

Seem cumbersome

"What! What! What! What! What! What! What! What! What!"

You exclaim in confusion

But did you not run out of your breath

By the sixth what?

Nine is five too many compared to four

But let me confess 

I like nine better than four

Nine has a symmetricity about it

That four misses

Not just in English, in maths too.

And yet, four and nine have a lot in common

"Oh be quiet!" you cry.

"How can they have anything in common

When one is odd and the other is even?"

Tsk tsk tsk! Haven't you heard

Silence is golden?

Besides you should realize

Odd follows an even

And Even follows an odd

So why should they not have

Many things in common

For one, four likes to live next door to the pleasant five

And nine has its den near the powerful ten.

The Romans knew that all along

Their four looked like a five preceded by an I

Their nine, a ten with an I ahead

Them Roman had an eye for an I

Besides did you not know

That four is two times two

And nine three times three

Did I hear you say "perfect"?

Not just perfect but "perfect squares"

The story does not end here however

In fact, it only begins here.

Four and nine met each other

On the sides of a rectangle

It did not take long for them to realize 

That they were perfect for each other

A few weeks later, they found themselves

Walking down the aisle

Four days and nine months later

A perfect square of a child was introduced

“Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the child of Four and Nine, Forty Nine"

10. Corona days: A school day

She was on a boat and her friend was rowing the boat. She could not identify her friend but she was sure that this friend was her best friend. They were talking about a horse that was drinking the water from the lake but she did not remember the conversation. The surrounds of the lake were quiet. Suddenly, she heard the calling of a few birds. The sound of the cuckoo stood out. There were a few crows crowing too. She could also hear a Myna. She opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling. During the past few days, she had come to realize that the lands she visited in her sleep were quiet. As she woke up, the silence of her dream was broken by the sounds that surrounded her. The transition was sometimes startling. One morning, she had asked her father "Papa! Why are dreams so quiet?" Her father looked at her perplexed and asked "Are dreams quiet?" She looked at him before exclaiming "Of course Papa, Did you not know?" Her father looked at her with sheepishly and admitted "I don't remember my dreams, dear". She shook her head and walked towards the her parent's bedroom. She was sure that her mother would know the reason. Her mother was sitting on the bed looking at her laptop. She asked "Mama! Why are dreams so quiet?" Her mother looked up and asked "What did you ask?" She repeated her question. Her mother responded with a smile "Maybe, because we are sleeping". She was not convinced by the response "But Mama! We see the dream while we sleep but why can't we hear anything?" Her mother's smile broadened. She took off her spectacles and thought for a moment. She asked "How do you know that you can't hear anything in your dreams?" She could not believe that her mother did not understand what her. She showed her exasperation lightly as she said "Because suddenly we start hearing everything as we get up Mama. Have you not experienced it? As you wake up, you start hearing the birds and you realize it was quiet earlier." Her mother continued to smile as she confessed "No dear! I have not experienced it. I don't remember my dreams". She felt disappointed. She thought her father and mother knew everything about everything but for the first time she realized that that was not true. They did not know about dreams.

"It's Monday!" she said as she sprang out of her bed. She stretched her body to shake away its lethargy and repeated with a big smile "Its Monday!". A few months ago, Monday was the worst day of the week. She would roll this way and that on the bed till her mother walked into the room shouting "You are late! Get up now! You will miss the bus". She used to hate Mondays but now she loved Monday mornings. She did not take long to get ready. As she walked out her room, her mother gave her a cup of hot chocolate milk. She sat on the couch sipping from the drink from the cup. Her mother sat in the balcony with a cup of coffee. As is usually the case, she spent her mornings talking over the phone. From time to time, she looked at her daughter and if their eyes met, they smiled at each other. When the cup had become empty, she held it upside down above her head and let the last drop form on the rim of the cup. She looked at the forming drop intently. When she felt that the drop was big enough, she held the cup over her open mouth. Slowly, she brought down the cup towards her extended tongue and let the drop touch the tip of her tongue. She felt she savoured the last drop of the chocolate milk more than the whole cup of it. She placed the cup in the kitchen sink and came back to the hall. Her mother was standing by the front door holding her mask and bag. As she got closer, her mother started a session of rapid fire questions.

"Books?"

"Yes."

"Diary?"

"Yes."

"Pencil pouch?"

"Yes."

"Chart?"

"Oh no!"

She ran back to her room, picked the roll of chart paper from her table and ran back to her mother. Her mother uttered "Hmmm!" before continuing.

"Sorry mama."

"Water bottle?"

"Yes."

"Cap?"

"Yes."

"Spare cloths?"

"Yes."

"Sanitizer?"

"Yes."

"Napkins?
"Yes."

"Towel?"

"Yes."

"Good! Here is your mask,"

"Can I wear it when I reach the bus stop?"

"Please wear it now! You cannot go out of the house without wearing the mask."

"Oh OK!"

She took the mask from her mother and looked at it. The mask had lower half of Spider man's mask printed on it. It was gifted to her on her birthday. She loved it the minutes she saw it and used to wear it all the time; sometimes even on the dining table! She used to remove the mask, take a mouthful of the food, don the mask again and then chew the food. It was her favourite mask. She loved the mask still but had got tired to wearing masks. Wearing a mask turned out to be the worst part of going outside. Nearly everyone wore masks these days. She could remember a time when her parents would be annoyed to see people wearing masks. When she asked why the people were wearing masks they scoffed "to save themselves from pollution and dust". She used to feel confused "Isn't that good? Should we not wear masks too?" They used to respond that the people wearing the masks were "overdoing it" and that pollution was not so bad that people had to walk around wearing masks; not in Chennai anyway. But now they scoffed at people who did not wear their masks  

She  wore the mask and walked out of the house. As per her mother's instructions, she did not press the elevator button. As far as possible she did not touch anything outside her house. The ride from home to the school bus stop took ten minutes. Her mother wore a dark green mask with a multiplication sign on it. When she had seen the mask for the first time she had asked the meaning of the mask. Her mother shrugged her shoulders and said "It's just a pattern. I liked it". But she did not agree with her mother. It did not look like a pattern; a pattern would require many multiplication signs and this one only had one. Every time she saw the mask, she wondered what the mask meant. Her father had a red mask with the emblem of his favourite football club - Manchester United. The day he bought it, he had shown it to her with pride. She liked the mask but was annoyed by her father's obsession for football and Manchester United. This obsession had resulted his creating a football stadium like area around the television. He watched football matches till late in the night. Some nights she was startled out of her sleep by her father's shouting "Goal! Goal! Goal! Yes! Yes! Yes!"

The excitement rose within her as the car approached the bus stop. As her mother parked the car, she looked out of the window at the line of children waiting for the bus. She got out and waved at her friends. She did not walk towards them but waited for her mother to come to her. The children from the higher classes stood in a circle and talked. The smaller children stood with parents at a some distance from each other. From time to time, they looked at each other. The mask made it tough for them to talk to each other. They could not even smile at each other as their smiles would be hidden under the masks. Sometime they attempted to communicate to each other using their hand. The parents did not talk to each other either. They busied themselves with their phones and at times spoke a few words to their children. She noticed the bus when it was a few metres away from the stop. She liked to see the front of the bus as it approached the stop. She loved her school's buses, especially its front with the large windshield. The windshield had the school's name written at the top is bold letters. She loved the name of her school. It was simple and she thought it was the best name a school can have. As the school bus approached, she fixed her eyes on the name. Her eyes were filled with love and she smiled under her mask.

The bus stopped and the students started boarding. The boarding took time as the Akka on the bus recorded the temperature of each student and noted it down in the attendance register. Two minutes later, she found herself in front of the Akka, who smiled at her. Though the Akka wore a mask she was able to identify her smile by the way the skin around the corner of her eyes tightened. The Akka looked at the device in her hand intently and nodded her head in approval. She and her mother exchanged  goodbyes before she got in. The masks had brought an end to the custom of kissing each other goodbye. She was glad that the custom had come to an end though. She got into the bus and walked to her  seat. She sat alone in a seat that could seat two children. Previously, she and her best friend would occupy the seat but now they went to school on different days. She had not met her friend for many months. She wondered if they were best friends still but then remembered that they had vowed to be BFF. She decided to call her friend that evening. The bus journey was not as exciting as it used to be. For one, the bus was only half full and everyone sat away from each other. Also, the masks made it difficult for the children to talk to each other. Except for some of the bigger children, everyone slept through the bus journey. She placed her head on the bunched up curtain and watched sights on the road. She slept within a few minutes.

The Akka shook her gently back to wakefulness. The bus had reached the school and the children were getting ready to deboard. She got down from the bus and walked towards the school gate. She joined the line of students waiting to get into the school. Soon she stood in front of a teacher who recorded her temperature and gave her a few drops of sanitizer to clean her hands. She walked into the school. She had not woken up completely and as a result trudged along to her classroom. Her face brightened as she walked into the classroom. She greeted her friends and her teacher. She went to her place, placed her bags and took off her mask. She took two or three deep breaths and let her lung enjoy fresh air. The class only had twelve students and yet was noisy. The students sat away from each other and had to speak loudly with each other. Unlike the previous years, the teachers did not seem to mind the noise. They looked at the children with a smile on their faces. Since the class was split by half newer friendships were forming this year and as a result she did not miss her best friend once she reached the school. There were others and since they only meet two times a week, there was a lot of catching to be done. They got ten minutes before the start of the class to talk. 

The children remained attentive in the classes. Unlike earlier, most children did not talk during the classes. The classes went by quickly. At the end of each period, the children went out to wash their hands with soap. They maintained some distance between each other as they walked and stood in line to wash. To make up for the space they talked louder than usual and their loud talking made the school not seem only half full. She liked these five minute breaks between classes and spent all the five minutes talking and listening to her friends. The classes continued through the morning. The big unhappiness for all the students was that lack of games periods. Instead, they got 30 minutes of free time. During this time they walked around the school looking at the stones, plants and trees. Some sat at different spots in the campus and talked to each other. At times, three or four children stood in a circle and threw or kicked a ball towards each other. Some watched the bigger children doing shooting practice in the basketball court. Two or three teachers were present among them during the free periods and they ensured that the children were a few feet away from each other at all times. They washed their hand thoroughly at the end of free time. They had a fruit or snack before getting back into their classes. The classes after the break tended to seem longer than the classes during the morning. When she got bored of the class, she looked out of the window at the trees beyond the school's walls. The last thirty minutes before lunch were the toughest. The ones who wore watches looked at it every few seconds. Others looked at them eagerly and tried to determine the number of minutes left for lunch from their reactions. 

The sound of the bell announcing the beginning of the lunch period was very popular among children. At times, few of the children whooped on hearing the bell. The teachers did not take this kindly and spent the next few minutes talking to the children and thus delayed their lunch. Sometime the teachers talked to the whole class and this made it worse for the child who whooped. He/She had many pairs of eyes staring viciously at him or her. Though the lunch hour was a relief, the children did not enjoy it as much as they used to during the previous years. Earlier, each of the table used to be filled with children who chatted away happily as they gulped in their food. But now only four children sat on each table and the time was spent more in eating than talking. She looked forward to the lunch not as a break from the classes but for the food. She had missed the school food during the months she had stayed at home and was glad she could have it for at least two days a week. Though she knew the children with whom she shared the table, she did not consider them as friends and so she preferred to eat the food quietly.

She walked around the school campus with her friends after lunch. They had their masks on and maintained distance between each other as they walked. Teachers watched over them at all places in the campus. If the children forgot to maintain the distance or wear masks, they were instantly informed to rectify the lapse by the teachers. The conversations between the friends were invariably about their earlier life. They remembered the visits to the malls and theatres, the evening spent on the beach, ice cream parlours after dinner, pleading for pack of Lays in the aisle of a supermarket, trying to keep pace with the panipuriwala and birthday parties. They really missed the birthday parties and talked about incidents from the many birthday parties that they attended during the previous years. Though she liked the time she spent with her friends, she really missed her best friend. They used to laugh a lot more when they were together. Except for some of the bigger students, no one laughed much these days.

When the teachers announced that it was time to get back to the classes, they walked towards the wash basins and washed their hands for twenty second (though they no longer sang "Happy birthday to you"). The afternoon classes were tougher than the ones in the morning. They felt sleepy and since the class was only half full there was only half the amount of whispering in the class and that was not enough, Yet, she did not get bored of the classes. She only got two days of school and that too after a break of many months. So she enjoyed every minute of her time in the school. As the end of the school day approached, sadness crept into her. She will be getting back to her small world till day after tomorrow. She had always liked being in the school and these days she loved it.

When the day ended, she walked up to her teacher and said "See you on Wednesday". The teacher looked at her and said "Wednesday is a holiday. See you on Monday". She was stunned by the response. It took her a moment to say "Oh!" She walked away from the teacher quickly. She kept her head down as she walked towards the bus. She did not want to look or talk to anyone. She did not want them to see the tears that were welling up in her eyes.

9. Corona day: Lockdown 3.0

Last evening, two days before the end of the extended lockdown, the lockdown got extended a second time. This means that this is the third instalment of the lockdown. The television channels call it "Lockdown 3.0". Our culture and religion has a strong mathematical base and so it is only fair that we use concepts from our own culture to name these lockdowns and not follow the shallow western system of numbers followed by a dot and a zero. Thus I am going ethnic and am calling this extension of lockdown as "Lockdown: Trishul", Better still, I will call this set of lockdowns as "Lockdown: Tridev". This way we can look at the first lockdown as "Lockdown: Brahma" - the creation of the lockdown.  The second lockdown can be considered as "Lockdown: Vishnu" - the sustenance of the lockdown. The  current lockdown becomes "Lockdown: Siva" - the destroying of the lockdown. If the lockdown extends again, it would seem that the name "Lockdown: Tridev" will become a problem. Not really! We can bring in the concept of an universe that expands and contracts constantly. Thus we can assume that the lockdown is happening in cycles of three. If the current lockdown is not the last lockdown then we have to assume that there will be three more.  God forbid the Government to not go through the lockdowns in cycles of three. Now that the nomenclature is settled, we can go back to happenings from around the globe.

I had mentioned in one of the previous entries that I wanted to write about certain news articles many weeks ago but my head did not let me do so. It rambled on about stuff and nonsense, as it is doing now, and I had to push all these important occurrences away. No longer! For the next few days, I will remain focused.

Some of the references given below are from many weeks ago. So it might seem dated and my own thoughts about them have undergone many change as the situation today is different from then. The big change that has occurred inside my head is the realization that we have no idea about the state of the world and the pandemic. Every day the worldometers website throws large numbers at us.

Look at those numbers! They are all in millions and hundred thousands. It is still a small percentage of the world population but it has been a while since mankind has seen deaths in such large numbers in a short period of time. The shock is increased by the fact that we are in a century when cars were expected to fly and our roadrunner cars are getting rusted in their places of rest. 

Our own attraction to bad news makes us ignore the number at the bottom. The number of people who have recovered has also reach a million. It is nearly one third of the affected cases. This should give us hope but we are bothered by the number of deaths, which is at 7% of the total number of cases and  more importantly nearly two and half thousand people have died. All these numbers continue to increase. But the other two numbers are dependent on the slowing down of the first number and the whole world is praying for that damned number to slow down. But that is not happening yet. When it reduces in one part of the world, it increases in another. Ultimately, the number continues to increase at a healthy pace. As long as that number increases, the deaths will continue to increase. At the current rate, the world will end up with around seven and a half thousand deaths. But it is difficult to predict what the final values of these quantities will be as we have no idea when the number of cases will slow down. So we have no choice but to wait and watch. In one ear we hear tick-tock-tick-tock and in the other we hear tick-tick-tick.

I seem to be having a problem with the word "lakh". During the second review of this piece, I have converted all the lakhs to hundred thousands.

The world faces another issue. We are not even sure if these numbers are correct. Actually, we are sure the actual numbers are greater. We are not aware of many of the cases and deaths. Either the patients are asymptomatic or they are in a "remote area" and we are not aware of these cases. I placed the phrase remote area within quotes as these areas are not far away from cities and town. Even with the development of mobile network, a place which is at a distance of 50 kilometres from a city can be considered remote. So we have no idea where we are; neither how far we have travelled nor how much farther we should go. Tick-tick-tick, ...

A day before I started reviewing this write-up for the second time, I found a video on BBC. The headline for the video caught my attention "The 1957 flu that killed one million people". I was shocked! I had heard people talk about last big pandemic on the planet, the Spanish flu of 1917 but had heard nothing about the 1957 flu. So I read the introduction before watching the video. The introduction was as chilling as the headline and it said "In 1957 a new strain of avian flu emerged in East Asia and quickly spread around the world, killing at least one million people. Sumi Krishna was nine years old when she caught the virus in India. This is her story." Sumi Krishnan was then a 12 year old studying in a school in Nilgiris. The video shocked me as I realized this was a worldwide pandemic that started out of China (again!). I searched for this flu on Wikipedia and what I read was even more disturbing. This pandemic was caused by H2N2 virus and it began towards the end of 1956. It spread from China to South East Asia and then to India, Europe and Americas. It killed a million people. The highest number of cases occurred in October 1957. The vaccine was available to the public during the same month. The parallels with the current pandemic are disturbing. What's worse is that a different strain of the virus returned in 1968 (H3N3) and killed another million people around the world. The line in Wikipedia reads "H2N2 influenza virus continued to circulate until 1968, when it transformed via antigenic shift into influenza A virus subtype H3N2, the cause of the 1968 influenza pandemic." The Wikipedia article about the 1968 pandemic has the line "Despite the lethality of the 1957 Asian Flu in China, little improvement had been made regarding the handling of such epidemics. The Times newspaper was the first source to sound the alarm regarding this new possible pandemic." Fifty years later, we have made the same mistakes again and no one's ready to take responsibility for it. Also, I wonder why we are not talking about these pandemics which took place fifty years ago and talking only about the Spanish flu. Human arrogance will lead to its extinction. Tick-tick-tick, ...

I am not feeling sad or depressed. As prevalent as the disease is, it is still at a distance from me and so I don't feel the worry of being affected. The lockdown has been pleasant. I have spent the time provided in activities I always wanted to. Yet I have the unjustified annoyance for not being able to spend more time on these activities. I want to watch 4 movies a day but I struggle to watch even one. The reason being the movies I want to watch might not interest others in the house and at times might not be even appropriate for everyone. So I watch them on my laptop with my headphones. I cannot watch anything in this manner for more than 30 to 40 minutes. A few years ago I realized that my finances would be constrained for the rest of my life and I decided to indulge in a final splurge - Bose headphones. For a person who looks at value for money in everything he purchases, this one's a real splurge. Though the sound quality is great, maintaining this headphone has been a headache and it is not very convenient to wear. It has become my very own white elephant.

Living through the pandemic has its own issues. For the last two days, my abdomen has not been behaving very well. There is a pain that travels all around the abdomen. The first thought "it is gas". A good guess! A few hours later another thought struck me "could this be a heart attack?" But I rubbish that thought because I have had that thought a number of times earlier and obviously I was wrong. Finally this evening, I wondered if it could be the COVID-19 triggered breathlessness. I had to take the help of Google to convince myself that breathlessness is not felt in the abdomen. It has been a week since I wrote those words. The pain has disappeared and I am alive still. So I guess it was gas. This kind of paranoia and panic strikes from time to time. The problem with this virus is not just about your own health but the pain it will cause for others around and when I say around I mean a large around and not just the immediate around. The Arokya Setu application informs about the cases 5 and 10 km away. Currently, the application in my phone announces "No case of COVID-19" even for 10 km. Imagine the state of some poor soul 9.5 km away from here when he/she looks at the application and finds "1 case of COVID-19". So for the sake of humanity, I should not be affected.

Since then, the status has changed. One case of COVID-19 has been reported in the 10 km radius. Soon after I saw this update in Arokya Setu, news about this case landed in the WhatsApp news channel. It said the son of a vegetable vendor has tested positive. It is believed he contracted it from the dreaded Koyambedu market.  Now, all the vegetable vendors in the area are being tested for the virus. The vegetable shops in the area are all closed. The Koyambedu market itself has been locked down and this has resulted in the non-availability of vegetables in many parts of the city. One of our friends has been surviving on kanjiyum payarum for the past week.

But many of the new channels try to the focus off their immediate neighbourhood. Many news channel, especially the ones abroad, are trying to convince their local readers and viewers that a place many miles away from them will go through terrifying misery due to the virus soon. They have been trying to distract their readers from the situation in their immediate neighbourhood. The western media has been critical about India and its measures to tackle the pandemic. I am not saying Indian Government has done a great job but I do think they have done the best that can be expected out of them. The Governments in the west have not done any better and I am being kind to them when I say that. In reality, they have messed it up. How dare they talk about India when their state is under a truck load of excreta? In India, the situation has not been that bad and yet they are critical about everything happening in India including the Hindu nationalist and their suppression of the sane voices of India!

It is not just the media in the west that indulges in such criticism. NDTV carried the article about a man from Kerala who had to carry his father from a hospital to a rickshaw a kilometre away due to the lockdown. This is a sad event but the problem was with the way it was reported.  The news caster announced that this case shows that a coin has two sides. Kerala has controlled the spread of the virus well. Other parts of India should seek their advice and help in controlling the virus. Instead people are eager to criticise the state in every manner possible . It does not help that the state is ruled by the left and the Government is harassed by both BJP and Congress. The Congress leader picked up an arbitrary issue and tried to divert the attention of the public from the pandemic and its control. Congress talking about corruption is an appropriate definition for oxymoron. Yet a few intelligent morons on this planet think Rahul Gandhi and Congress are not as bad as the world paints them to be. BJP's miserable performance does not make the Congress any better. They are the reason for India to be in this shape. So I think people should stop talking rot but of course their irresistible urge for them to sound intelligent makes them to talk rot.

The supporting of this Government or that is another example of the presence of segregation in this world. We split ourselves in every possible way - Gender, country, states, district, city, village, economic status, caste, sexual orientation, educational qualification, religion, food, colour of skin, size of the eye, existence of hair on one's head, eye sight, type of nose, dominant hand, type of music one listens, mathematics, language, knowledge of computer, made in China, political leaning, philosophical outlook, Trump and Modi, number of hours of sleep. Phew! I can't write no more but am sure there are more!

All my life, I could not imagine a world without segregation. Nairs are different from Nayars. So though Mira Nair has a Nair at the end of her name but she will always be Mira Nayar and not Mira Nair. Look at her, listen to her; she can never be a Nair. This is how the world works. But the fact is that she (or her father or grandfather) only had to replace "ya" in her last name with "i" for her to become a Nair. But this comes from my thinking mind and the thinking part of the mind is not popular among the remaining part. Even now when I hear her name, I hear a voice in my head say "she is not a malayalee". A few years ago, I met a person. He had a Christian first name and Menon as the last name. My immediate guess was that he was a Menon who accepted Christianity. Not the case! His father liked Krishna Menon and hence placed Menon at the end of his son's name and thus made his son's last name a part of his first name. Did you notice the importance given to first name and last name? My mind is programmed to look at last names. Though my own last name, like that of many, only informs the world of my father's name. This mode of naming has the advantage that people find it difficult to place me here or there based on my last name. But using the father's name as the last name of a child is not being fair to the mother. It seems to be implying that the father is more important than the mother. One cannot escape the clutches of segregation.

There are two problems with segregation. One it make us feel proud of who we are. This per se is not a problem but when pride combines with the feeling of contempt for others it leads to many issues. Pride for one's own fair skin combined with contempt and disgust for other's not-so-fair skin has led to tremendous cruelty, which exists to this day. I was watching a pointlessly romantic movie last night where the hero's mother wanted him to marry a girl as "she is very fair". Later when she realizes that he has fallen in love with a girl from another religion she questions "but is she fair?" The scene was probably placed in the movie to mock the importance given to being fair in our country. But the this girl from another religion turns out, conveniently,  to be "very fair" and thus the intent of the scene is lost . Such and many other sorts of segregation seem to be embedded in our heads and are passed from generation to generation. So I don't feel confident of a society that believes in the equality of all humans (definitely not all organisms - COVID-19 will never receive kindness from humans).

As I mentioned earlier, I had always taken this division for granted. It was Krishnamurthi who put the idea in my mind that segregation does not exist among humans. He has said many times that we are all the same. He argues strongly about this sameness thus "Please do realise something tremendous: that you are the rest of mankind psychologically. You are mankind, whether you live in India, Russia, China or in America, or Europe, you are the rest of mankind, because you suffer, and everyone on this earth suffers in his own way. We share that suffering, it is not my suffering. So when you ask a question: what difference will it make if I or you change, if I may most humbly point out, it is a wrong question. You are avoiding the central issue. And we never seem to face the central issue, the central challenge that demands that we live totally differently, not as Americans, Russians, Indians, or Buddhists or Christians." To drive in his point he continues thus "I wonder if you have realised, Christians have been responsible for killing humans far more than any other religious group. Don't get angry, please!" He goes on further "It is only Buddhism and Hinduism, said, 'Don't kill. If you kill' - they believe in reincarnation - 'you will pay next life. ... We as Brahmins were brought up that way, not to kill a fly, not to kill animals for your food.". Is K not making use of our differences to drive in the point? I do realize that I have taken these arguments out of context. Yet, I get the feeling that the concept of differences and hence segregation is deeply embedded even in K's mind when he say "We as Brahmins...". He seems to be inviting them to become us. Paradoxically, the minute he does that he has already separated humanity. 

I doubt if the world will ever be a place without borders

For we, as human, believe borders are required for order

While we try to make our thoughts grow broader

By providing the word "equality" to our minds as fodder

The differences among us becomes a bother

Enough to give the thought of equality a smother

I believe that is the point! We have been brought up in a divided environment. Everything we see and everything we hear amplifies this division that it is difficult for us to see everyone on this planet as equals. We can cheat ourselves into believing that we don't believe in divisions. But that very thought has division in it. You have by that very thought put yourself on a pedestal and have brought in a division that is as bad as "I am proud to be a Malayalee". This has been brought out beautifully by the practically unknown theory by Constance Flictcher "The possessor of a mind that tries to assimilate all creates a new standard open only to those who have the ability to assimilate all and in the process creates a group that does not assimilate all. This condition of the mind lead to the Equality Paradox".

Once I read a book by Dick Francis. I think the book was about horse racing (Good God! I just realized that Dick Francis wrote many book about horse racing; he was a steeplechase jockey). I hated this book as it gave me a lot of details that I did not care for. Arthur Hailey's books had the same effect on me. I was not interested in the details. I was a lot younger then and I hope I have changed. Oh! I have definitely changed. I have spent the last six paragraphs (including this one) in setting the ground for the next few lines.

I hate most of the news channels and their hosts or news casters or whatever they are called these days. It does not matter what their names are and which channels they belong to, they try to divide us in manners that we have been unable to fathom yet. Even during these days of illness they are spreading hatred for someone or the other. The manner in which they do it annoys me more than their doing it. They act as though they are torch bearers of truth while they propagate hate and division. What is worse is they themselves are immersed in attachments but have no qualms to belittle others. Right from the days of the 9:30 pm English news on Doordarshan, I have never liked watching the news on Television. But I prefer the Doordarshan days as I was only bored of watching the news during those days. Today I feel anger. Before anyone tries to calm me down, please try and remember the names of the news channels that you can absolutely not stand watching. I am sure that each of us will have a few of those.

Barkha Dutta is talking on Al Jazeera. The announcer of the programme pronounced Barkha's name as Bark-a. I don't like Barkha Dutt and this is the second time I have seen her on Al Jazeera informing viewers about the brave brand of journalism that she indulges in. She is informing the foreign media with conviction that she is one of the few journalists in India who has the guts to be with the people; the rest don't get out of their studios at all. Apparently, her definition of journalists includes only Arnab and her.  I now hate Al Jazeera too.    

The lockdown was not all about madness and sadness. At most times, I kept away from the news and thus remained bearably happy. But I watch the news for a few minutes at least for getting information and more importantly amusement. The NDTV reporter from Kerala asked, in broken Malayalam, to a person working at a restaurant in Thiruvananthapuram "The Government has allowed people to have their food in the restaurant but people are not listening to the Government and are taking the food as parcel to their homes. Is it true?" How sad! People never listen to the Government. If the Government says they can have their food in the restaurants, good citizens would consume the food in restaurants and not parcel it. It is a slip of a tongue but it is the tongue of a NDTV reporter and so I show no mercy.

The President of Tanzania had his suspicions on Corona virus and its testing kits. A news articles said that he took samples of goat and papaya, gave them human names and age and sent them to the labs as human samples. The samples, he claims, came back as Corona positive. When I saw the brief of the article in InShorts, I felt respect for the President. He seemed like a good tester. The Chinese Corona Kits and their makers are not to be trusted anyway. India and other countries have sent back many kits for being faulty. I thought the Tanzanian President had found an effective mechanism to test these kits. But my understanding of the Presidents was far from reality. The President is sceptical about the disease itself. He had asked the Tanzanians to pray and thus defeat the virus ("Corona Go! Go Corona!"). He also plans to use a Madagascarian herbal remedy called "Covid Organics" to drive away the virus. So he is using this technique to keep the people and world at dark. By the way, papaya is known as pawpaw in Tanzania.

That news reminded me of the video that landed on my Facebook some days back. It talked about a Siddha doctor who has a cure for the Corona virus. Apparently, he, with the help of the Government, had tested the medicine on a number of patients and cured them. But the Government is not doing anything further laments the video. It goes on to say that though Tamil culture has the ultimate remedy for COVID-19, no one's listening.

On the first day of the "Lockdown - Siva", various Governments opened the liquor shops in their respective states. Seventy five percent of the men in these states were on the streets standing in lines outside the shops. Social distancing was let loose in the wind. The Lakshman Rekhas have been erased and forgotten. It is ironic that this is happening at a time when the number of cases of COVID-19 are increasing more than ever. The Governments and people have run out of patience and have formally submitted themselves to Bhagwan bharose. Kerala Government had considered keeping the alcohol shops and bars open during the initial days of the lockdown. But the national level lockdown put a spanner in their plan. Soon they announced that the drunkards were suffering withdrawal symptoms and to allay their sufferings doctors would prescribe alcohol to these poor souls. Imagine a doctor writing in a prescription "Old Monk Rum - Quarter mixed with 50 ml of room temperature water (definitely not cold water) 2 times before dinner". WhatsApp groups are filled with messages that economy of many states are dependent on the amount of alcohol consumed. If the economy of Indian states are dependent on alcohol consumption, Indian state and democracy is in trouble. The Indian economy will soon identify men by the bottle of alcohol in their hands.

A few other items in the news caught my attention during the past few weeks.
1. Japan decided not to go into a lockdown to deal with the pandemic. I guess the Japanese habits of following rules and giving importance to cleanliness ensured that the pandemic did not attain worrying proportions in Japan. They only have 15078 cases of COVID-19 and 536 deaths. From time to time, they used their natural inclination towards innovation in maintaining social distance. About a month back,  an university in Japan conducted a convocation ceremony using robots to represent the students. Each Robot had a screen for their head, which displayed the live video transmitted over the Internet of each student. The Robots decked in ceremonial robes with a two dimensional human face looked cute.

2. On the other hand, Indian have not shown any interest in following rules and maintaining cleanliness from the time Harappa, Mohanjo-daro and Lothal disappeared. Across different places in the country, people have continued to mourn, protest and celebrate as groups in public. At one place close to Madurai, the death of a Jallikattu bull resulted in people thronging onto the streets to take the dead bull in a procession to its final resting place. In the process, these wonderful specimens of humanity converted social distancing into social distressing. While in Karnataka people indulged in social deifying by taking their Gods in procession. An ex-CM of Karnataka conducted his son's wedding during this time. He claimed that there were not many people who attended the wedding. But the pictures painted a picture of social dissemination. None of these so-called leaders of our country understand the meaning of leadership. If you indulge in activities as per your conveniences, the people who follow you will do so too and thus make it convenient for the virus to spread. The law has turned a blind eye to all these acts of indiscretion. 

3. I am aware of the harm that man (I don't mean man as a common reference to human beings but the male version of humans) has caused on this planet but every day I realize that men are capable of causing more harm than I thought. Men, in general, are aggressive and selfish. Men love to fight with each other and dominate others. By other, I mean anything and everything - a piece of land and the creatures on it and off it too. Since the lockdown started many men have found it difficult to stay indoors. So they do what they love to do - abuse others. The number of cases of domestic violence has increased all around the world. Look at this one in Gujarat. A moron broke his wife's spine because she won a game of online Ludo. She coaxed him to play the game, to keep him indoors, but ended up in the hospital herself. The minute the alcohol shops opened thousands of men were found standing in front of them. They have absolutely no concern for the pain that the world is going through. Some of the WhatsApp brotherhood groups are filled with videos and memes about alcohol and the misery of living without it. At this rate, men will soon be referred to as mean. Sometimes, I have to evaluate my own thoughts and actions keeping in mind the fact that I am a man.

4. I like the sing-song rendition of "Malabar gold and diamond, a promise is a promise" in the advertisement for Malabar gold and diamond advertisement on Asianet. Also "Oh! Ithu valare simble allayo" in Sheenlac water based wood polish. Also, Amitabh's palm movement as he says "cover your nose and mouth...".

For the past few evenings, I hear people wailing on Asianet for Indians (Keralites specifically) staying abroad. "They have to be brought back home immediately" is their cry. Four lakh people want to come back and many are shocked that this is not done quickly. One programme had an intelligent soul (a-soul?) compare this pandemic with the Kuwaiti war of the 90s. The fellow says that the Government then brought back one and half lakh people in twelve days. He expressed his shock at the amount of time taken by the current Government in bringing back the NRIs. Of course, by Government he meant the Kerala Government more than the one in the centre. This is Asianet we are talking about! Don't these idiots realize the difference between wartime and pandemic time evacuations. Urgency should be the prime objective of a wartime evacuation. But during a pandemic, care is more important than urgency. Everyone realizes that some or many of the people staying abroad are going through difficulty but during a pandemic effective implementation of social distancing, testing and quarantine during evacuation are important and these take time! Don't these political buffoons realize this. I think politics has ruined our world. If many of us die, we deserve to. We are all idiots. 

The Congress head of Kerala is a fine specimen of a Congress party leader or even member. First, he tried to distract the people from the Kerala Government's pandemic control activities by bringing in the Sprinlkr case. When this proved to be a damp squib, he turned his focus on pravasikal (Keralites staying abroad). His cronies and he lamented about their fate and living conditions on the foreign soil and wanted them to be brought back immediately. He publicized videos and photographs of his discussions through phone with the pravasikal. He gave the responsibility of managing this activity in the Middle East to some person there. When the first flight from Middle East, people realized that this person had used this opportunity to place himself and family on the first flight back home. Thus another feather landed on this brilliant leader's cap. It is interesting to note that this news was heard on Kairali and not on Asianet. News channels continue to support political parties. While Kairali supports Communists, Asianet supports Congress and thus the news on these channels are biased. It is sad that most news channel are biased but I believe as humans it is difficult for us to not be biased. I am annoyed at the holier than thou attitude of the journalists. They are humans too and this means you are as messed as everyone else. Maybe worse.

Two big names in Bollywood decided "enough is enough" during the last week - Irrfan Khan and Rishi Kapoor. Inside my head, both these actors live in different spaces. Rishi Kapoor resides in the world of the 70s and 80s. Karz, Zamaane Ko Dikhana Hain and Khel Khel Mein are the three movies that come to my mind when I think of Rishi Kapoor. These movie probably best represent the romantic and comic hero parts that Rishi played. The songs from his movies are more popular than his movies. My favourite Rishi song is "Dil lena khel hain dildhar ka..." from Zamaane Ko Dikhana Hain (for me this is best R D Burman song). I hated Rishi Kapoor for a weeks after watching Saagar though. I was a big Kamal fan and was heartbroken when Rishi's character won Dimple's character's affection. Needless to say, I found it difficult to hate Dimple. Irrfan lives in an entirely different space. Though I am awed by his presence on the screen, I cannot remember a single instance of his acting. On putting in some thought, I realize that I found him incredible in The Lunchbox and The Namesake. I was watching the movie Kaarwan when I heard of his demise. I have also watched Qarib Qarib Single since. I liked watching these movies and like to believe that he had a lot of fun during their making. The respect he garnered from around the world became evident when messages of condolences poured from different parts of the world. We have lost many great performances during this pandemic. 

The world continues to muddle along through the pandemic. The cases continue to rise in many parts of the world. In India it is rising alarmingly and Chennai has become one of the hot spots. Koyambedu market has spread the virus to many places in Tamilnadu and Kerala. It has reached a few kilometres from my place of residence too. Since the vegetable vendors are affected across the city, they could have spread it to customers too. This mean anyone of us could be affected. The panic buying a day prior to the complete lockdown has also increased the number of cases. The sale of alcohol is another right step in the wrong direction. Money is becoming a problem and people want to start working. We cannot live in lockdowns forever. Soon, the lockdown will end and we will be allowed to get out of our houses. The virus will live among us and we have to live with it. There will be illness and death but we have to learn to live with that too.

I should not have titled these entries as "Corona days". It is clear that Corona days are here to stay and anything I write for the next few months will be a part of Corona days. Maybe I should have called it "Lockdown days". 

8. Corona day: Lockdown life

I needed a break from Corona days. It is tough to do so physically but I did the best. For one, I kept away from the news channels as much as I could. On the few occasions I found myself in front of the Television, I became a Martian. I observed the poor Earthlings living their miserable lives in quarantine. I felt safe in my deserted Martian landscape. I thanked God for taking away our water and oxygen. Life feels safe here. I also spent the precious time that COVID-19 has gifted us, by working on my ambitious pet project. I used my abundant imaginative skills to call it the "Ambitious Pet Project"; APP for short. As soon as I named the project thus, I noticed a redundancy in the name. All pet projects are ambitious and hence words ambitious is redundant. But I like APP better than PP. PP at best could stand for passport. But APP stands for Alan Parson's Project. Most people who listened to music from the around the world in the 80's and 90's would have listened to "Time" and "Ammonia Avenue". I felt that these songs and many others made APP one of the greatest rock groups on the planet. Later, I realized that there were many lists of greatest groups on the planet but APP  did not figure in any of these. Obviously, the Earth is inhabited by stupid beings. How can a group that has created "Eye in the sky", "Mammagamma" and "Vulture Culture" not be on every list of greatest groups on the planet? For heaven's sake, Alan Parsons was the engineer for Pink Floyd's "Dark side of the moon". Why does every greatest group list have Nirvana and not Alan Parson's Project?

Getting back to the point! Initially I did not go far in my APP (i.e.) Ambitious Pet Project. I came back to this space and started writing here. But at the end of the first three paragraphs (not including this one) ambition kicked in once again and I kicked myself back to my APP. I am thrilled to say that I have completed what I planned to complete. There is hope still!

I had decided on the contents of my next Corona days entry a few days ago but I changed my plan changed due to the news of few occurrences from around the world. I decided to add my views on these occurrences to this write-up. But as I started writing, life threw a few incidents at me, which I thought should be recorded for no one to read. This resulted in a reduction in my ability to fit the occurrences from around the world in this journal entry. So I decided not to talk about the news articles at the present moment. This is the best part about writing a journal - Not only do I have to not stick to my plans, I can change it a million times without bothering anyone. I certainly did not plan to write these lines but I wrote them anyway and no one cares.

It is 7:30 am and there are no movements in the house. I plan to spend another ten minutes in writing before getting up to make tea. I find it easy to write in the mornings. Thoughts and words flow freely. This morning, I woke up at 5:45 am but wasted more than an hour by not getting up. Many thoughts lost forever! I am listening to the latest Pearl Jam album over Prime. The album is called Gigaton and it sounds good. It has been a while since I have listened to a new Pearl Jam album and I am glad I picked this one. I also listened to their 2009 album called Backspacer. I like this album too. Many years ago, I discovered Pearl Jam when I saw the video of "Jeremy" on the television. I was amazed by the song, lyrics, video, music and singing. Within the next few months, I owned a copy of their first four albums. All four of them were contained great songs; not one filler. But I did not like their fifth album, Yield and from then stopped following their albums. I had started following this group due to Eddie Vedder's singing. His voice brings out a range of emotions. When he sings angrily we feel his anger. But he can also bring in a sense of calm. The songs from the soundtrack for the movie "Into the wild" is an example for this. For me, Eddie Vedder is the big difference between Nirvana and Pearl Jam. I will always love the latter over the former. Actually, I don't listen to Nirvana at all.

My mobile phone and laptop claims "today is 19 April 2020". I believe it is. It also claims "today is a Sunday". I am unable to accept this for yesterday seemed like Sunday, so did the day before and the day before the day before. The only day that is different from the series of Sundays I am living through are the days when I go out to buy the provisions. I don't miss going out. On the contrary, I love staying inside my house and not going out at all. Yet I look forward to my trips to the market. I find the process of buying food joyful. I don't even mind the process of picking the best looking beans from a bunch of tired ones. I have always liked choosing okra (I don't like calling them ladies finger). I feel great satisfaction in breaking their tips to ensure that they are just right for cooking. The art of picking vegetables and fruits has been passed to us through the ages. Some say these techniques are older than the Vedas itself. For example, the okra tip breaking technique is found in some ancient literature, I am not sure which, and is known in Sanskrit as "Bhendakrabhagam". Each vegetable has a recommended process for picking and if one confuses the process of one for another, the results would be disastrous. 

As the fourth week of the lockdown is nearing its end, the time is right to capture some data.

1. Eight: Number of trips I made to buy grocery.

2. One: Number of trips I could have avoided (I planned to go out on a Sunday but panicked and went out on the Saturday. Ultimately, I had to go out on Sunday too. So the Saturday trip became unnecessary).

3. Five: Number of loaves of bread consumed.

4. Three: Number of times we had Top Ramen noodles. At a time, we have six small packs of the noodles. So we have had eighteen small packets of noodles. Of this the first time, I could only get three TopRamen noodles and as a result I had to buy three packets of Sunfeast noodles. The resultant combination of the two brands was interesting. The last time I decided to experiment with three flavours - Masala, Chilli and Curry flavours. The result of the mashup did not live up to my expectations. The Chilli flavour is useless.

5. One: Number of times food was ordered via Swiggy.

6. Two: Number of times meat was bought (Nattu kozhi).
7. Four: Number of biriyanis consumed (Once from restaurant and thrice homemade)

8. One: Number of visits to the petrol bunk (Woohoo).

9. Hundreds: Biscuits consumed during the lockdown.

10. Infinity: Amount of time spent watching Corona news on television.

My original plan was to list the movies that I had watched during the lockdown with a brief summary of my thoughts for each. Half way through the writing I realized that I had watched nearly thirty movies and placing the list here would make this write-up unwieldy. So the list has been given the honour of having a separate entry. I have run out of interesting Indian language movies in Prime and Hotstar. There are few in Zee5 but the Zee5 application is too heavy for Amazon Fire Stick. Every time I select a movie the application crashes. So I am giving up on Zee5. I have subscribed Netflix for a month. There are a few interesting Malayalam movies and also the latest Karthi, Vijay Devarkonda and Allu Arjun movies to watch. This should keep me occupied for few weeks. I have also started watching the series Panchayat on Amazon. It reminded me of a series that was aired in Doordarshan during the 80's called Raag Darbari. The series is based on the satirical Hindi novel by the same name written by Sri Lal Sukla,  Coincidentally, I found a  copy of the book in a second hand book stall (I don't remember when and where though. I wished I had started writing a journal earlier. Such minor but interesting details would not have been lost forever). I have read the book and still have it on my book stand.

Five weeks have passed since the lockdown commenced. Eight hundred and forty hours of time spent at home and our everyday schedule has been regimented. Our activities in the mornings, afternoons, evenings and nights remain nearly the same across the days - Tea and writing before breakfast, cleaning of the house or going out to buy grocery and taking bath prior to lunch, watch a movie before the evening tea, spend some time on the laptop before dinner, continue to spend some time with the laptop or watch television before calling it a day. The fourteen year old in the house is not bored either. He has been spending time doing his homework and watching Anime. Both these activities go hand in hand and I am not sure when he does which. But the homework gets done and so I don't bother him. The morning starts with the Vishnu Sahasranam playing in the background. For most of the remaining part of the day Corona news can be heard in the background.

One morning, I heard the phrase "Oh God!" come out of the kitchen. As is usually the case, these words were followed by a bad news. "We have run out of gas". I smacked my head and said "Damn!" In the kitchen, the making of dosas stopped abruptly. We had no choice but to depend on a single induction stove for the next two or three days. This implied that the items in the menu would reduce considerably and the process of making food using a single stove would cause delays in the getting the food ready. For a start, that morning's dosas transmogrified into idlis. I opened the Bharat gas application on my smartphone and booked a cylinder. I tried calling the gas agency to inform them of our desperate situation and convince them of our urgent need for a new cylinder. But I did not get a response from the agency. It took me an hour to realize that the gas agency would be considered as a non-essential service and so would remain closed during the lockdown. I checked my contacts list and found an entry with the words "gas delivery" written besides it. I called the person and asked him if he delivered gas cylinders in my area. He snorted before informing me that he only delivered cylinders in an upmarket location within the city. I apologized and ended the call. I searched through the different lanes inside my head for an idea to get the new cylinder quickly. But every lane turned out to be a dead end. I gave up!

At 2 pm, as we were getting ready for lunch, my phone rang. I picked it up and said "Hello!" The person on the other end said "Sir, gas delivery. Please come to the ground floor." I did not understand a word of what was said and attempted to clarify with a "What?". The person on the other end repeated what she had said earlier. The message took a moment to register as the chauvinistic part of my mind was busy thinking "Aren't gas cylinders delivered by men?" The non-chauvinistic part of my mind asked the chauvinistic part to shut up and get into action. I responded "Wait a minute for five minutes!". I picked my wallet and the empty cylinder, opened the door and sprinted to the elevator. I pressed the elevator button four times to inform it about my urgency to get to the ground floor. The elevator quickened its pace and reached my floor a few second earlier than it usually takes. I got into the elevator and pressed '0'. I did not press it multiple times, as these buttons are toggle buttons (if I press it once, it selects the floor but the second press would deselect it). I pressed the button to close the elevator door six times. The door closed double quick and the elevator descended to the ground floor at its usual pace. I watched the floor count decreasing as I stood at the centre of the elevator. Since the outbreak of the pandemic, I ensured I maintained the maximum possible distance from the elevator walls by standing at the centre of the elevator. Based on everything I have heard, I understand that COVID-19 is not athletic and as a result did not jump from one location to another. So I believe as long as I stay away from the walls of the elevator, they cannot reach me. The elevator doors opened and I saw a man in a blue uniform standing outside with a beautiful red cylinder besides him. He asked me to wait inside and placed the red cylinder inside the lift. He took out the empty cylinder. As I paid him, I could not help but ask him "how come you delivered the cylinder this quick?" I bit my tongue for asking this stupid question. What if he realizes it was delivered by mistake and he decides to take it back? He responded "we did not have too many deliveries. That is why!" I smiled the best I could and thanked him profusely. As the lift climbed up, I looked skywards and mouthed "Thank you! I believe in you".

As I was writing the above lines, I wondered why we say "Hello!" when we pick up a call. I mean I understand it is a greeting but the way we say the word, it does not sound like a greeting. It seems more like a habit. When I was young I had seen my father respond to phone calls with his name rather than "hello". I liked the idea and decided to do so when I grow up. But as I grew up, I realized that it was not easy to respond to a call with my name. I practiced it standing in front of a mirror but it was of no use. I was and still am unable to respond to a call with my name as the greeting. I think I am too self-conscious. So I continue to say "Hello!", which I think sound ridiculous.

The lockdown enabled us to clean our house regularly and extensively.

• Every square inch of the floor - swept and swabbed regularly. 
• Every part of the house - dusted regularly. 
• Every vessel used for cooking - cleaned many times a day. 
• Every part of the large windows and slide doors - cleaned using pointed instruments to pry out dirt from every nook and corner and wet cloth. 
• Bathrooms and toilets - cleaned from floor to the ceiling. 

During one such cleaning session, as I was walking into the bathroom, the fourteen year old asked "why are you going to the bathroom with an orange?" I asked "What?" He repeated "why are you taking an orange to the bathroom?" I held up my right hand and showed him the orange coloured scrub. He said "Oh!" with a sheepish smile and went back to his activities. 

We have consumed many oranges during this lockdown. Prior to start of the lockdown, I bought fifteen Nagpur oranges from an organic shop in the city. These oranges were sweet and yet they had a strong tangy taste. Right after the start of the lockdown I bought ten Nagpur oranges from a nearby super market. These did not taste as good as the organic ones as they were not tangy enough. The supermarket also had the handsome Australian oranges but we preferred the ordinary looking Nagpur oranges. Every Monday and Thursday evening, a vegetable stall is set in our complex. Since the beginning of the lockdown, the exit gate of our complex has remained locked and the entry and exit to the complex takes place through the entry gate. The stall is placed between the exit gate and the main road. The residents stand in a line within boxes drawn one metre apart. The association had created two lines; one for men and other women. The number of women who come to buy vegetables is greater than men and so it is advantageous for men to go and buy the vegetables. Once I got oranges from this stall. They tasted similar to the ones from the supermarket but cost Rs. 25 more. So I did not buy these oranges any more. I bought the oranges from the super market once more but found three rotten ones and so have stopped buying oranges since. 

As the extended lockdown trudged along to it end, the cases of COVID-19 continued to increase. At the face of it, the increase does not seem alarming. In Europe and US the number of cases and death were much higher. The Government continued to reiterate that in the absence of the lockdown and the resulting social distancing the number of cases would have been nine or ten times higher. But there were underlying worries one could not ignore. The increase in the numbers in Maharashtra, Tamilnadu, Gujarat, Delhi and Madhya Pradesh did not raise our confidence in the current measures. In most metros and cities across the country, the numbers continued to increase. In Maharashtra, Mumbai and Pune reported the maximum number of cases. The number of cases in Dharavi have increased to 241. In Tamilnadu, the number of cases has increased in a few cities including Chennai. On 24th April, the Tamilnadu Government declared a complete lockdown for four days from 26th to 29th in a few places including Chennai. The announcement informed that everything other than essential services like medical shop, hospitals, water and gas delivery will remain closed. Delivery from restaurants can also be done during these days. This seems to be the Government's desperate attempt to ensure social distancing is maintained during the last days of the lockdown. It has been five and a half weeks since the beginning of the lockdown and the Governments were desperate to end it. I also heard that the Tamilnadu Government was planning to clean the streets by spraying disinfectants during these four days.

On the morning of 25th, the organic shop closest to my house informed that nattu chakarai is available in the shop. I had bought one and a half kilogram of this item prior to the start of the lockdown. But regular consumption of tea, coffee and kanji had depleted this resource quickly. This seemed to be the case for most customers of the organic shop. For a week or so, many of the customers inquired about the availability of nattu chakarai in the shop's WhatsApp group. The response was always the same - "no stock". The message on 25th April, gave a list of all the items available in the shop. In the middle of list, I saw the words "jaggery powder" written. A bulb blinked close to my head. I called the shop and asked "Is jaggery powder the same as nattu chakarai?" The person at the shop answered "Yes". I said "Save two kilograms. I will be there in an hour." He responded "Lot of stock sir. Come whenever you can". An hour later, I got into the car and adjusted the rear view mirror before starting the car. As I did so I saw my face in it. I involuntarily said "Damn!" Half my face was covered by the surgical mask and yet I looked like the Nagpur orange and not like its Australian counterpart.

The road outside my apartment complex was empty. The small shop at the entrance of a farm close to the complex was open. Though the shop sells a few fruits, it is not really a fruit or vegetable shop. It primarily sells some of the farm's produces. It consists of a thatched shed with a large table underneath. Fruits, a cash box and weighing machine were placed on the table. Stems of bananas hung at the front of the shop. Though we pass this shop regularly, we have bought fruits from it only twice. Last year we bought half a jack fruit. It was good but not great. With jack fruit it should be great and not just good. So we never went back to the shop. The lockdown changed the situation. The shop is close by.  It has a farm behind it and we felt good buying from a shop with a farm attached to it. Since the start of the lockdown we have bought jack fruits and bananas from the shop regularly. Once I even bought raw papayas. En route to the organic shop, I stopped at this farm front shop. The place was unusually crowded. Being a regular customer, I was provided with instant service. As usual, I bought a kilogram of jackfruits and half a kilogram of Yelakki bananas.

The cops had blocked one side of the road near the junction and the traffic on both directions were forced to use one side of the road. Usually the sparse lockdown traffic allowed free flow of traffic but on this day, cars lined the side of the road and the traffic was slow. The grocery, vegetable and fruit shops by the junction were crowded. People were preparing for the four day complete lockdown by stocking up food. The announcement by the Government has once again resulted in panic buying. I took a left from the junction and drove towards the organic shop. The supermarkets on either sides of the road had twenty to thirty people waiting to get in. On my three visits to the supermarkets, I was either the second or third person in the line. Social distancing was getting compromised by the desperate rush to stock food. I reached the organic shop. The shop is a house with the room in the front acting as a shop. It is off the main road and not many people are aware of its existence. Besides, most of the population consider organic food to be a fad and hence continue to shop in supermarkets. The shop only had another customer. I bought the nattu chakarai and few other items. As I was paying the bill, I asked "do you have milk?" The person at the shop said "it will be here in another hour". I felt annoyed! Had I known it I would have come an hour later. I could not wait for an hour in the shop. I asked the person to inform me through the WhatsApp group as soon as the milk arrives. I got into the car and applied the sanitizer to my hands from the bottle that I kept in the car. The intoxicating smell of the sanitizer filled the car. I smiled underneath the surgical mask and drove towards home.

I continued to see many vehicles and people on the road that morning. When a complete lockdown is announced people are not sure how much food is enough. I have experienced it myself many times during the past five weeks. I turned into the complex and stopped at the gate. Two security personnel walked towards my side of the car. One of them had a notebook and pen in one of his hand and the other had a temperature gun. I smiled at them but realized they did not register my smile as it was hidden underneath my mask. I provided my name and apartment number. The person pointed the gun towards the centre of my head and held it there for five seconds. The focused attention of the gun caused a slight discomfort in my forehead. But before it could turn into a headache, it was taken away. He announced "36.2". I have realized that when the AC inside the car is on, the temperature is closer to 36 otherwise it hovers around 36.5. The security person had informed me previously that a temperature of around 37.5 is considered dangerous. I have remained safe for the past few weeks. I drove into the complex but instead of going straight to my parking place, I took a right and parked the car close to the store. I was not sure if the store will be open for the next four days and decided to indulge in last minute desperate shopping.

The association had laid out the rules for the store too. Only one person shopping inside the store; others waited outside in boxes laid one metre apart. But the person at the store himself did not like this idea. He let two of three people into the store. There was no one waiting outside the store and I only saw a lady customer near the billing table. I walked in and picked a packet of milk. When I looked up from the refrigerator, I saw a tall man standing at the other end of the shop through the shelves. I was confused and stood at the spot holding the refrigerator door open. The shop chettan asked me to let go of the door and to continue shopping. As I walked into the shop, I picked a packet of multigrain bread. Prior to the lockdown, we did not buy bread at all. Since the beginning of the lockdown, I have picked four loaves already; almost averaging at one per week. Bread and the two minute noodles came in handy for a quick fix meal. During the pre-lockdown days, we would have called Swiggy and ordered food. Since the beginning of the lockdown, we have only used Swiggy once. We did not feel safe consuming food from outside and have not ordered from outside since. At the other end of the shop, I saw a packet of rava in one of the shelves. The red coloured packet had Naga double roasted rava and sooji written on it. It seemed like a fancy version of the rava that we buy usually. Since moving into this apartment complex, I have realised the value of a packet of rava in the store's shelves. Many a times, I have walked into the store and found the shelves bereft of such packets. So in my head, a packet of rava lying like a lost child in a mela is similar to finding a nugget of gold. I picked it up instantly and held it close to my heart.

The lady at the counter paid for her purchase using her card. Card payments at the store take long. The reason for the delay as per chettan is "inge connection seri ille". A good three minutes was spent in the lady's billing process. During this time, I picked two packets of broken roasted semiya too. Upmas take birth from rava and semiya. People associate the south of India with ildis and dosas but upma should be added to the list too. While idlis and dosas are liked by almost everyone, upmas are hated by many. It reminds people of jail food though most of the people who hate it have not even seen jail food. Out of habit, I checked my mobile for messages. There was a message from the organic store - the milk had arrived. I cursed under my breath. I thought about my next course of action. I did not want to drive back to the shop. It was only three kilometres away and yet driving back did not seem right. But we needed a few packets of milk. The argument for going back to the shop seemed stronger. I called the shop and asked if the milk had arrived already. I got a yes in response. I asked the person to save four litres of milk for me.

By this time, the lady had left the shop and the tall man was talking to the chettan. He asked for five kilograms of raw rice. Chettan went in search of a new sack of raw rice. He brought it closer to the table and started opening it. All the while, he talked about the uncertainty regarding the complete lockdown days. He was not sure if he will be allowed to open the store. He thought it will be pointless as he will have no source to buy the products from. I thought that the complete lockdown should not affect us as we reside in the neighbouring district to Chennai. But he refuted by saying that the CM had announced that complete lockdown will be in effect in Chennai and its suburbs. The tall man's wife was standing outside the shop and observing the happenings inside. She asked the man to pick a packet of rava. Chettan responded that the store had run out of stock. I was holding the last packet of rava in my hand. She observed this and chided her husband in Telugu "Didn't you know we needed the rava? You came to the shop earlier than him and yet he has the last packet of rava. You should have picked it earlier". He gave the ideal response for this chide; silence. The opening of the bag of rice seemed complicated and chettan was spending a long time on it. I asked to save the materials I had picked and that I will collect them in thirty minutes. He looked at the five items I had in my hand. He got up, sat on his chair and started billing my items. I did not stop him. The husband and wife glared at me. I gave them an apologetic smile but once again it was lost within the mask. I walked out of the store without looking back at them. The packet of rava was searing in my hands.

Soon I was on my way to the organic shop. As I was parking my car at the shop, another car parked besides me. The driver got down in a hurry. I realized he was trying to beat me to the line waiting outside the shop. I quickened my pace and reached the line earlier. There were two persons ahead of me. They were in the process of ordering many items. Since I was there to pick the milk I asked the person at the shop to get me the milk. He got me the milk, I paid for it and left the shop. I did not look at the people standing in the line to find if they were glaring at me. I got into the car and rubbed the sanitizer on my palms for the third time that morning. When I reached the gates of my complex, I requested the security person to let me in without measuring my temperature as I had only done so a few minutes back. He agreed and let me in.

That evening, we received a message from the association that the gates will remain closed during the complete lockdown. We were informed that no one will be let in or out during this period. The notice ended with a request to cooperate with the Government. I have a feeling that association members of the complex were part of Nazi Germany during one of their previous births. Since their coming to power they have tried to control our lives as per their wishes and thoughts. I think I will soon start referring to our complex as a ghetto (I hope I am not being insensitive here). This rule is not a bad one but I still feel it is sent to inform the residents that the members of the association have the right to decide on our movements. The don't have the right. If someone has to go out, they will. Can any of these fellows stop them by locking the gates?

At 8 pm, we realized that we have run out of green chillies. The shops were closed and I was not sure what could be done. Being Indians, we don't believe in the existence of food without chillies and onions. As a matter of fact, I have heard someone mention that one of the vedas (or maybe it was the puranas) mentions that Brahma created an onion plant, a chilly plant and an egg before he created the rest of the Universe. Apparently, Brahma was not clear as to which egg it was but it ultimately turned out to be a hen's egg. I wanted to provide another piece of information about the creation of universe from that veda or purana but that could put my life under threat, if I have not done so already. Getting back to the point; no green chillies meant four days of food that tastes like continental food. It was too late for the shops to be open. But there was a ray of hope still - the vegetable stall by the gate. I felt happy and sad. Happy with the hope of getting the green chillies. Sad to spend an hour waiting in the line to buy green chillies. I picked up a cloth bag and walked out of the house.

The doors of the bigger elevator opened and I found that it was empty. As I walked towards the centre of the elevator, I realized that I was not alone. A baby lizard was standing in attention at one end of the elevator. If the army recruited lizards, this one would have been in one of the defence academies by now. When I reached the centre of the elevator, it perceived my presence. Its head moved almost imperceptibly to its right. Almost immediately, it took off and ran towards the elevator's doors and waited there. I looked at it with a smile under my mask. On reaching the ground floor, the elevator doors opened and the baby lizard sprung towards the open door. It stopped when it noticed the gap between the elevator door and outside world. It looked at the gap for a second before turning around and running back. I waved a "see you later" at the baby lizard and walked away.

As I was walking towards the gate, I realized that the day was not one of the two days when the stall was set in the complex. But I walked towards the gate anyway and was surprised to see the vegetable stall as I approached the gate. The long line of people bothered me a bit but I was happy to see the stall open. I realized that I would have to wait for forty five minutes in the line. The weighing of the items and the searching for the keys on the keyboard during billing took long. I took out my mobile and opened Prime. I went to the downloads tab and was thrilled to see that it contained three movies. I put on my headphones and started watching Brightburn. By the time I reached the stall, I had seen thirty five minutes of the movie. I got the green chillies and went back home. We were all set for the complete lockdown.

I should mention at this point, that I did not see the baby lizard in the elevator on my way back home.

The end of the lockdown is less than a week away and numbers don't look very encouraging. According to the news from 26th April 2020 (first day of the complete lockdown) "The death toll due to COVID-19 continued to rise on Sunday, with the country registering a total of 826 fatalities and 26,917 cases, according to the Union Health Ministry. While the death toll rose by 46, the number of cases spiked by 1,975 since Saturday evening.  With 440 new cases reported on Sunday, Maharashtra breaches the 8,000-mark as cumulative tally soars to 8068. As many as 19 deaths were reported across the State to take the total deaths to 342. As many as 293 positive COVID 19 cases reported in Delhi today with eight recoveries and no deaths taking the cumulative number of cases to 2918". The PM met CMs of the states this morning and none requested the lockdown to end. Nine CMs requested extension in lockdown. But the PM is worried about the economy and is not sure how to balance the effects of the pandemic with the economic conditions. So there will be some easing of the measures. But it is clear that normalcy is still many weeks away. People will be allowed outside for functional reasons only and that too just one or two persons.

Corona days continues...