Dread dreaming

List of Characters
Mika:        Main Character (the original I).  Being the author of this piece, he has assigned himself the role of main character.  In reality, he is always the supporting character
Karma:     Character A.  The finance guy in the Mika's company.  Only makes a cameo appearance here.
Anoka:      Another Character (the I in dream). Though the author has assigned himself as the main character, Anoka is the protagonist of the story.  His character lives up to the Anoka name though.
Yaksha:      Yet Another Character. Many think he is a saint in probation and hence called Yaksha,
Leka:          Lady character. Though a character on her own right, she plays a minor role at the end.
Mrs.Mika:  Mika's wife makes a brief appearance.

SCENE 1

I is sitting in his office staring at the mobile.  He shakes his head and shifts his focus to the laptop. He plays around with the touch pad and keyboard and then stares at the screen.  He shakes his head and goes back to the mobile.  He throws the mobile on the table and holds his head between his hands.  A few minutes later, he picks up the phone, dials a number and waits for the response.

I: Karma, why is bank balance in the negative?

Karma: Sir, your last credit card payment pushed it to the negative.

I: Oh! Is that allowed?

Karma: Our account allows overdraft.

I: How much more can we push it to?

Karma: Another 1000 rupees sir.

I: Only another 1000 is it? How come we have not received any payment?

Karma: Which payment are we supposed to receive?

I: That customer.

Karma: Which one sir?

I: The foreign one.

Karma: We received it last week Sir.

I: We are in negative still?

Karma: Yes sir.

I: God save us.  Ok.

I cuts the phone and takes his head back to between his hands.  From the corridor, the excited blabbering of Anoka can be heard.  He walks into the room continuing the conversation with some one outside.  Once inside the room, he addresses I.

Anoka: I had this terrific dream early this morning.  You gotta hear it.

I: Early morning dreams come true.

Anoka: I don't know if I will be happy or sad if this one comes true.

I: Ok. I am all ears.  Tell me.

Anoka: Let Yaksha come.  He has to be here too.  Ah! here he is.  You have to imagine this as a drama.

Yaksha: Like all those Shakespeare stuff.

Anoka: Yes, like Shakespeare.

I: My life is a melodrama already.  I don't need any more drama in it.

Anoka: Come on.  This will be fun.

I: Alright, go ahead.

SCENE DREAM

I am entering the office...

TERMINATE SCENE DREAM

I: Hold on, hold on, hold on. I cannot imagine a drama in the first person.

Anoka: Meaning?

I: It has to be done in third person.
Anoka: What does that mean?
I: You cannot say I am.  You should say Anoka is

Anoka: I don't think that is true.

I: Well, I am not interested in your dream if you cannot do that.

Anoka: OK FINE.  If you want third person, you get third person.

Yaksha: What is this first person, third person?

Anoka: Never mind, the dream is more important.  ACTION.

SCENE DREAM

I is hurrying into the office in a state of excitement.  I walks into Yaksha's cabin and announces.

I: Yaksha, I heard that Mika has had a heart attack.  I think he is dead.
Yaksha: What nonsense! I saw him in his cabin sometime back.

The two of them walk towards Mika's cabin and finds it empty.
Yaksh: But he was here just a moment ago.
I: Impossible. He is dead.
Yaksha: Just shut up.  You always come up with these wild thoughts.  Remember the last time.  Mika's grand father had an attack and you went around the place telling everyone that Mika had a heart attack.
I: What nonsense! It was you who informed me that Mika had a heart attack.  I only informed others.
Yaksha: It was not necessary for you to inform the whole world.  Anyway, let us call him.

Yaksha takes out his phone and calls Mika. The phone rings but is not picked up.

Yaksha; There's no response.

I: Let us go to his home.

The two of them get out of the office and go to Mika's house. On reaching his home they see a crowd around the house. But the house itself is locked. The people are murmuring among themselves.

Murmurer 1: How can they not be here in such a time?

Murmurer 2: They should be home in such a time. But career is so important for people today. What is the point of working so much when they cannot take care of themselves?

I: What happened? Where are they?

Murmurer 3: All this running around for what? Family and peace of mind is more important.

I: Is Mika alright? Where are they?

Murmurer 1: They should have been here. Very irresponsible.

Anoka: This is pointless. Let's go to Mika's wife's office.

Yaksha and I reach Mrs.Mika's office.  They found her standing outside the office drinking tea.
Yaksha: Is Mika alright?  Anoka said that he has had a heart attack.
Mrs.Mika: What nonsene! Mika is sitting in the reception,

They walk into the reception.  Mika is sitting in the reception pondering into a newspaper.
Mika: Hey! Whatsup!
Yaksha: What are you doing here? Anoka is going around the world telling people that you had a heart attack.
Mika: Hey! Only people with heart have an heart attack (guffaws).
Mrs.Mika: Its about time you thought of something different and original.  People are getting tired of you stale jokes and statements.
I: But I am sure you had a heart attack and you are dead.
Mika: That guy Anoka is watching too many movies. Must be some leftover imagination from Race10.
Mrs.Mika: There is a level and limit to his jokes.  Anoka cannot get so heart less.
Mika: Hey! I am the heartless one here.
Mrs.Mika: Oh shut up Mika.  You are more brainless than heartless.  How can Anoka joke about someone's death?

I: But I am sure he has had a heart attack and is dead.

Yaksha: He is sometimes quite insensitive.  Ok, gotta go.  See you later.

Yaksha and I walk out of the office with I muttering this and that constantly.  Yaksha seems to ignore I and soon they reach the office.  They see Leka sitting in her cubicle.
Yaksha: This Anoka freaked us out today.
I: No I did not.
Leka: What happened?
Yaksha: Anoka said that Mika had a heart attack and he is dead.  We went to his home and then to  his wife's office.  We saw Mika at her office.  He is alright.  His wife is furious.
I: But he had a heart attack,
Leka: This is terrible.  How can he say such things?
Yaksha: Insensitive fellow.
I: Why don't they listen?  I was not joking or telling a lie.  Screw them all; I am going home.

I leaves for home.  When I gets home, I sees the place is filled with people.
I: What happened?  Why are you all here?  What is wrong?  Why are you not answering me?

I walks into his house and is shocked to him lying on the floor dead.

END SCENE DREAM

I: Is that it?

Anoka: Yes. Terrific right?

I: You have wasted 15 minutes of my life with a useless rehash of Sixth Sense.

Anoka: Why sixth sense?
I: What do you mean Why Sixth Sense?

Anoka: What is the sixth sense part in the dream?

I: Don't you know Sixth Sense. I can see dead people...

Anoka: You can see dead people?

I: The movie Sixth Sense.

Anoka: Oh is it?  Don't you know I don't watch English movies.  This is my dream, original dream.

I: Dreams are always inspired by real life occurrence. So it is inspired by something you have seen or experienced.

Anoka: My dream is original and I am going to make a movie out of it.

Yaksha and I laugh as Anoka storms out of the room.

END SCENE 1

... AND EVERYTHING ELSE

Some more on death

BBC travel has a write up on how thinking about death at least once a day helps one reduce fear of death and avoid anxeity attack.  The people of Bhutan are expected to contemplate of death at least five times a day.  It is similar for sadness too "We fear sadness. It’s something to get over, medicate. In Bhutan there’s an acceptance. It’s a part of life.”

http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20150408-bhutans-dark-secret-to-happiness

 The BBC travel also has an article on destinations that hardly seem real.  The article helped me realize that there are a set of island called Faroe island above between the Arctic, UK, Scandinavia and Iceland.  The islands have many such incredible locations.  Of the locations shown, I had the good fortune of seeing one.  

http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20151113-destinations-that-are-so-magical-they-hardly-seem-real

Of daughters

The year had been merciless on the couple so far. It was only six years old but the experiences seemed equivalent to six years. The downs dominated the ups and were leading by quite a margin. The running around from place to place was at an all time high too. Of the six weekends only one Sunday was spent at home and that too on cleaning and other chores. They looked yearningly back at their early days of marriage; weekends spent watching the complete Bond, Lord of the rings and Matrix series. At that time such weekends were laden with guilt - a criminal wastage of time. But with the growing years realization dawned that their marriage probably lasted this long due to those lazy weekends. The coming weekend seemed one such lazy weekend. No planned event and hopefully nothing popped out of nowhere. For him, the Friday evening threw in a challenge and he had to stretch the day till 2 AM to ensure a movie, biriyani and burger weekend. It was 3 am when his head hit the pillow. But the thought of the relaxing weekend ahead put him to sleep almost instantly.

She was woken up the next day by the ringing of her mobile. At first she ignored it but the calls kept coming. She finally gave up when it rang for the fifth time in two minutes. She picked the mobile and noticed that the call was from her ex-classmate. The only response she got for her "hey" was a series of sobs. She got worried and started enquiring the problem. "He had an accident and is in the ICU". Her friend sputtered the details in the next few minutes.

By then, he was up and standing besides her.  The two of them did not say anything to each other for a few minutes after the call. She started crying and unlike the usual times he did not try to pacify her. Finally she said "let's go". " What about him?" He asked pointing at their daughter. "We will leave her with my parents" she responded. A coffee later they were on their way to her parent's house and ultimately to the hospital. They had not informed the parents about their coming over and her father was surprised to see them. But one look at his daughter's face turned the surprise into concern. The next few minutes were spent in recounting the happenings and expressions of concern. Her phone rang again and her friend pleaded them to get to the hospital immediately.

She spent most of the journey to the hospital in silent prayers. A few sobs and sniffles were also heard intermittently. He tried his best to focus on the road. Their minds had got out of the initial shock and related excitement. It had moved on to the future and was looking at it with dread. The friend had not mentioned why her husband was in the ICU. Questions racked their brains - Was it an accident or did he get a stroke or attack? They discussed briefly and reached the conclusion that it's probably an accident. The guy is a health freak and there was no way he could get an attack or stroke. "Hope it's not too serious" she prayed. He did not feel so hopeful and looked ahead with dread.

The hospital was considered the best in the city and hence was crowded. It was so crowded that day that one could not stand anyplace even for a moment. As in the case of the Bombay trains, the crowd pushed you out of the way. The two of them were familiar with the hospital and aimed for the stairs. The ICU was on the fourth floor but there were too many people waiting for the elevator. Everyone waited patiently in the queue till the elevator doors opened. Patience and queue then decided to take a stroll and all indulged in pushing and shoving. Even patients were not given the priority. The attenders used techniques from American football to get the patients into the elevator through the pandemonium. The staircase was also crowded and it reminded them of the darshan queue at Tirupathi. As the couple reached the fourth floor they sent out a desperate appeal for their friend's well-being to Venkatachalapathy.

They realized their prayers did not reach the gods the minute they saw her friend. They had met her only a week back but now she looked many years older. Her hair spread out in all directions from her head. Her tears had created valleys on her face and they were flowing still. The two friends cried volubly as they held each other. Neither of them asked or said anything but continued crying. He wanted to desperately know what happened and on looking around saw her father-in-law standing by the ICU door. They shook hands and he started recounting. Being a well known story teller, he started from the beginning - the beginning of the day that is. But he could only get through a few words before our friend cried out "But it is only a gas problem. Why are they complicating it?" Her father-in-law got to the point by uttering "he's had a massive heart attack and is struggling". The matter of fact manner in which he said resulted in a stunned silence for a few moments. Then the two ladies burst out crying. The two men looked away to hide their tears from each other. An attender sushed vehemently and added "please be quiet madams".

A little later, the friend stopped crying and said "Papa!". Everyone looked in the direction she was  looking. A tall and elegant man was walking towards them. The friend stopped crying and looked at the gentleman with a mixture of awe and fear. The couple and the father-in-law had expressions of discomfort. The wife tried to hide behind her friend. The man ignored the rest and went directly to the friend and took her in his arms. She broke down in her father's arms. The wife now moved towards the husband and tried to hide behind him. The father-in-law started a conversation with the hospital attender.

The newly arrived gentleman let go of his daughter and said to no one in particular "it is sad I had to hear this". He paused before adding "from a stranger". The wife shrank further behind her husband but the gentleman looked towards her and asked "how are you Malathi?". She came out of her cower and mumbled "amo k nkle". He walked towards the father in law, shook hands with him and started questioning about his son-in-law's condition. Malathi and her husband walked towards them and listened. The situation seemed grim. Malathi walked back to her friend and held her. They sobbed on each other's shoulders.

A doctor walked out of the ICU. He intimated the sad news with a somber expression. Though the dread of this possibility had intermittently raised it's head during the past few hour, everyone had maintained varying degrees hope in their hearts. The shattered hopes took some time to express but then exploded with cries, sobs, tears, faints, falls and shouts. The person responsible for this sadness was soon brought out. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully. For a minute, Malathi's husband thought this was some kind of joke. Their friend threw herself on the stretcher and pounded his chest with her hands crying. He did not wake up or show any reaction. It was not a joke. Everyone other than Malathi's husband had gone incoherent with grief. He got busy in completing the required processes to get out of the hospital. Two hours later, the ambulance started its journey from the hospital. The friend's focus shifted to her daughter. "Oh god! What will I tell Maya. She will never see her daddy dear. How will she take it? What am going to do?" Through the journey she kept moaning such questions. Malathi tried to comfort and quieten her but to no avail.

Maya was studying for her exams when the ambulance pulled in. When she heard the commotion outside, she went out to check it. She was shocked to see her father being brought out of the ambulance on a stretcher. The first things she noticed were his closed eyes and cotton in his nostrils. Many would have considered her too young to understand death but she belonged to the movie and serial generation. The many serials that her grandmother watched had informed her that burning the in fire stage followed cotton in the nose stage. Her daddy would be available in photographs and videos only from now on. She let out a loud cry as she ran to her mother.

"Mommy, what happened to daddy? What happened to daddy?". The mother did not answer. They held each other and cried. Her grand father took her hand and held her. She looked at him surprised and asked " Grandpa! You here! What happened to Daddy? " "Nothing my dear" answered the grandfather. "You are lying Grandpa. Daddy's dead." By now friends and family started pouring in. The suddenness of the incident and the tearing up of the young family saddened everyone.

From the early days of civilization humans thought of death as a comma, rather than a full stop, in life . To ensure that the part after the comma went well they brought in many customs. The primary objective of these customs was to ensure that the person undertook the journey of death in comfort, meaning food and cloths. This continues even in today's rationalist and meta-physical world. Unfortunately, this results in one spending a lot of time in close vicinity of a loved one who has turned rigid and cold. It is very painful to see and touch a grotesque version of a loved one who a few hours earlier had made you laugh or even cry. It is made sadder by the thought that this form is definitely the last one sees of him or her.

The priest who was brought in for the ceremony was not the sensitive type and conducted it elaborately. His matter of fact manner seemed too harsh for most people. Some of the older and wiser members reminded the need for such ceremonies to ensure the happiness of the dead man's soul and the family. The house was not large enough to conduct the ceremony and so it was conducted in the verandah. Malathi held her friend, who had run out of tears, in her arms. Her friend's father was sitting inside with Maya. The ceremony was handled by the father who was in a daze and would have like to exchange spots with his son. Malathi's husband stood in a corner questioning God on the need to kill a friend to spoil their weekend.

Unlike a usual house of death, there were no shrieks and cries in this house. The mumbling of the crowd, the instructions from the priest, a constant stream of sobs and sighs were the only sounds to be heard. Since the whole neighborhood was present at the house, the neighborhood was also quiet except for an occasional bark, caw and chirp. At the house, the constant mumble between the grandfather and granddaughter was heard. The girl's words brought sadness to the people close enough to hear but the grandfather's words brought comfort. The ceremony had nearly come to an end and it was time for the entire family and friends to offer water and rice to the dead person. His mother moved his brother, who had sat holding his lifeless hand, back into the house. As he moved away, he complained "his hands are cold, cover him".

For the next thirty minutes the house did seemlike a house of death. Maya's grandfather was no longer able to comfort her. He stood helpless looking at her and his daughter. His shy and usually quiet daughter cried oblivious of the crowd. Their cries reached a crescendo when the body was taken out. That truly was the end of a loving son, father, husband, brother and friend.

Maya's grandfather did not go to the crematorium. He chose to stay with Maya and her mother.  The cries and weeping subsided to silent sobs and glum silence.  The friends and relatives cleaned the house.  Maya lay down with her head on her's grandfathers lap.  He talked about various things - fate, karma, destiny, life goes on, tragedies, two sides of a coin were part of his monologue.  It is not very clear if Maya understood everything that was said but she seemed to listen intently.  The day had made her tired and her grandfather's soothing voice took her to sleep.  He let her sleep for sometime with her head on his lap.  He looked at her for a long time with an affectionate yet sad smile in a corner of his lips.  Soon he put a pillow under her head and walked out of the room.

"Saroja, get up, get ready.  We are leaving" he said to his daughter.  Everyone in the house looked at him shocked.  Saroja attempted to protest but her father cut it short with a look.  Her mother-in-law did not take heed of the look and said "This is a death house.  She cannot leave now."  He looked at the mother-in-law sternly and said "they are coming with me".  He directed Saroja to get ready. Saroja did not move but stared at her father.  He took her hand and pulled her up saying "let us go Saroja".  A little while later, Saroja, her father and Maya walked out of the house. Saroja's father-in-law was just returning from the crematorium and asked "where are you going?" in confusion.  Saroja kept silent but her father said "I am taking them with me".  "No, not now.  That is not right."  The three of them did not respond.  "Sir, they cannot go out till the 16th day" protested the father in law.  Saroja's father glared back and said "Its too late to bring in customs now.  You should have thought of it earlier".  The three of them got into his car and left.  Saroja looked out of window and cried.  Maya was sitting in the front besides her grand father.  She did not look back or cry but looked ahead.

Malathi's husband walked to her and asked "why did you not stop him?" Malathi glared at him as she said "Stop uncle? No way. I was not even able to look at him let alone talk".  "But how can he just take them from here?" "That's uncle. I think we should talk to uncle and aunty and leave."

The drive back to Malathi's parent's house was a silent one.  The events of the day and the dramatic end had made them tired.  They decided to sleep at her parent's house that night.  Next morning his daughter's attempt at strangulating him with her love woke him.   Malathi was not in the room.  She was talking to her father and mother about the previous day's events.  Soon after lunch, they left for home.

On reaching home, Malathi and her husband decided to take a short nap.  Their daughter decided to stay awake.  "Alright, but no watching TV".  "Awwww come on".  They woke up a couple of hours later and found their daughter looking at them bright eyed.  "What did you do?" "Go look in the kitchen." "My God! Did you wash all those vessels?" "Yes" "Nice".

Things moved towards busy days and tired evenings. Saroja, Maya and their misfortune slowly moved to the background. Mundane issues started occupying the foreground. The daughter seemed to have been bitten by the cleanliness bug.  Whenever she saw something out of place she promptly rectified it.  One night, she decided to clean the vessels again; her parents looked at each other and smiled with pride.  She went into the kitchen and a few minutes later ran into the bathroom.  When she came out she was holding a red scrub.  "Why are you taking that scrub dear?" asked Malathi.  "Mama, I don't like that green scrub.  I want to use the red one".  "No! That is used to clean the toilet.  Put it back. Did you use that scrub on Sunday to clean the vessels?" "Eh. I used the red one Mama".  "What!" "No no no.  I mean the green one, green one, green one".

Some thought on "Love side by side"

I had seen Partha Sarathi Sen Sharma at a conference in Chennai.  He was the lead speaker and from the talk I thought he is a no-nonsense and to-the-point person. Coincidentally, he was my boss’ ex-colleague and I heard a little about his fascinating journey to become one of the top bureaucrats in the state of Uttar Pradesh.  A few weeks later I heard that he has published a novel.  For the past few years, I have dreamt of writing and publishing a book. I had even made a few attempts unsuccessfully.  I always blamed it on my career but this book has proved me wrong.  It teases me with "if you have the will to write, you will write". 

Will is the central concept of this book.   The story is driven by the will and decisiveness shown by the central characters.  Each character in the book have made their decisions on how to live their lives and are not ready to compromise their position even for love.  This is in contrary to what is usually seen in our movies and books.  The book brings in practicality rather than divinity to the concept of love.  It is amazing to see the practicality is displayed by all the central characters.  They know how and where they want to lead their lives; love cannot dictate this.  This is contrary to what is shown in many of the popular movies and books today, which influences the upcoming generations.

The book describes the choices faced by the three central characters in their twenties.  It deals with the clash between their life and career choices.  While reading the book, I tended to prefer one character over the other but thinking back I realize that none of them are more right than the other.  At that age, many of us went through similar choices and our selection was more based on our feelings than logic.  The book brings this out well and strikes a chord with our own experiences.

The love aspect of the book is only a catalyst – a medium of sorts. “What should I do with my life?” is the central question.  Love is only a part of the question.  This question and the thought that life cannot be split into right and wrong is an important lesson that the book provides to the generations stepping out of their childhood.  As we grow the way we think changes and hence our priorities change.

The writing style of the book is simple and easy to read.  It is something that most of us can identify with.  We have used such language while talking to friends and family.  Many a times, it seemed I was reading a letter from a friend.  A letter that I wished had some more pages and did not end so soon,

On the whole, I am so glad to have come across Partha and this book.  I hope this inspires me to write a book (a novel to be precise) in not too distant future.