Friday, April 24, 2020

7. Corona days: 23rd April 2020

In Dragon's den on BBC Two, a pair of Entrepreneurs were trying to raise capital to set up a company that produces men's underwear. The catchphrase for their proposal is "The company wants to create a Palace for the Phallus".
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Talked to an old friend on phone for more than an hour. By old I mean I known him for decades and also that he is old. Talking for an hour on phone is a personal record of sorts.
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Late last night, a friend sent me the following message. 

Nice one to share..
This lock-down is getting old and frankly I've had enough.
I've discussed the matter over a cup of coffee with the kitchen sink, and we both agree that the experience is draining. 
I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts the wrong spin on everything. 
Same with the fridge. He only gives cold comfort. 
I asked the lamp but she couldn't shed any new light on the situation. 
The vacuum cleaner was rather rude and told me to suck it up. 
The threshold was no better, it suggested I get over it. 
The carpet advised me to sweep my feelings under the rug. 
But the fan was more upbeat and thought that the crisis would soon blow over. 
The toilet looked a bit flushed and didn’t offer an opinion. 
The wall didn't say a word either, just gave me a blank stare.  
The door knob was more forthcoming - told me to get a firm grip on the situation and move on. 
The front door declared I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to.... you guessed it right - pull myself together. 
Then the chair told me to table it, and the table remarked, I didn't have a leg to stand on.
When I told the table to break a leg, the mirror said that my comments reflected poorly on my thinking. 
However, in the end, the iron straightened things out. 
She said everything will be fine.
No situation is too pressing for long anyways!!! 

When I saw these lines in the morning, my mind went into overdrive and added a few more.
A voice from the garden said plant yourself right there.
The vessels in my kitchen informed me that the emptiness has made me noisy.
The chocolates were of the opinion that the darker it gets the more precious it is.
I m unison said the two voices from the slipper rack "You should stop this flip flop"
The basket on the table reminded me about the fruits of being patient
The jar of sugar added "Yes, yes! The fruits of being patient are sweet"
While the music player sang "Home where my thought's escapin';Home where my music's playin';Home where my love lies waitin';Silently for me"

Her response for my response contained the line "The ihnnjnnesiately reminded me I'd u!!" My friends is a typo specialist but I cannot accept ihnnjnnesiately as a typo. How can something that complicated be a typo? It is not close to any word that I know in any of the language that I know. Thanks to this word I now believe in soul and multiple births for I believe this is a word that she has spoken in one of her previous births. Hmmm! Atlantian, maybe?
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A friend's father passed away in Chennai two days ago. His daughter stays in Hong Kong and she could not travel to India for the funeral. Another's friends mother passed away in Surat two days ago, she is in Bangalore and could not travel to Surat for her mother's funeral. Both these deaths were caused by a C disease that is not caused due to COVID-19.  I am reminded of the lines from Rush's song "Force Ten" 
Tough times demand tough talk
Demand tough hearts
Demand tough songs
Demand tough talk
Demand tough hearts
Demand tough songs
Demand.
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This morning the worldometers site informs us of the following tally.

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This morning Times of India informs us of the following.
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Fu Manchu is releasing an EP to celebrate their 30th anniversary. They have released a song from the album. It is called "Time is going on". It sounds like any other average Fu Manchu song.
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Vaccine testing has started in Germany and UK.
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Completely locked down today! Did not even venture to the shop in the complex.
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6. Corona days: Moving pictures

I realize that its Motion Pictures and not Moving Pictures but the title for this piece is dedicated to Rush. Calling it Movies is simpler but there are times when one does not wish to be simple. After many months, I have watched a number of movies in a stretch and I believe this journal should be aware of this achievement.

1 and 2. The Raid: Redemption and The Raid 2 - The titles and the posters of the two movies suggested that these are mindless action movies. I love watching mindless action movies. For one, I can watch these movies alone, which is an interesting experience. Second, the movies proceed at pace that provide little opportunity to think. The template for a good mindless action movie is simple. A few good guys fight against many bad guys. Initially, the bad guys have the upper hand and this results in the few good guys becoming fewer but soon the tables turn and the good guys give a solid thrashing to the bad guys. By the end of the movie, most if not all the bad guys are dead and in most cases, the one or two good guys limp away or are carried away in stretchers. They wear a brave smile on their lips despite being covered in blood. While watching a mindless action movie, it is important to identify all the good guys right at the beginning. The remaining people in the movie are either bad guys or will die within twenty of their appearance on screen. In some case, some of the good guys might be bad guys acting like good guys. Halfway through the movie a ta-dang scene reveals their true identity. A true lover of the mindless action movie curses profusely as soon as this reveal is made and eagerly waits for the brutal death of the was-good-but-is-now-bad guy. This true lover of the mindless action movie also pounds his fists on all the furniture around him as the main good guy pounds the main bad guy into a pulp in the climactic sequence. Historians suggest that Die Hard is the mother of all mindless action movies and Bruce Willis is the God of all good guys.

NOTE: In the above paragraph I have used the word guy instead of guy / gal or person. My apologies for being a sexist. In my head, it seems inappropriate to use anything other than 'guy' when talking about mindless action movies. So please remember that the word guy in the above paragraph is unisex in nature.

I decided to add the introduction to mindless action movies after I completed my first draft. Earlier I only wrote "Action filled Indonesian movies. The first part is amazing. If you are not averse to a lot of blood and crunch sound, these movies are thrilling with amazing action sequences." I realized I was being unfair to the movie and wrote some more.

The Raid: Redemption is one of the best mindless action movies that I have seen. I place my neck on the line by saying that it is even better than Die Hard. But that does not mean that the hero of this movie is Godder than Bruce Willis. That's impossible! Both parts of The Raid proceed at incredible pace. There is an enormous amount of blood filled action sequences in these movies. The hero is an exponent of an Indonesian martial art form and this makes the action sequences interesting. The first movie is simple and as a result is impressive. The second part is intricate, which is usually not a good word to associate with a mindless action movie. That does not mean that the second part is not good or interesting. It only means that the second part is not as interesting as the first one. I will watch these movies again. Warning: If you are allergic to spluttering blood and scrunching bones, this movie is not for you.

2. Driving license - This movie's story is simple. In a way, it is similar to Shah Rukh Khan's 'Fan' but is a lot more interesting. The movie has three big advantages over SRK's Fan. Double role gimmicks are not used in the movie. There are no complicated action sequences. There are no identifiable villains. The movie is about a fan's adoration for a star landing both of them in trouble. The movie also depicts the life of a star and the issues and controls he faces. Every person around him has expectations from him and when he fails to meet the expectation, they berate him in public. It is also about people who try to take advantage of such situation for their own sake. The movie does not paint them as villains but people who use these situation to resolve their own issues. The movie holds the audience to their seats. Towards the end of the movie a touching sequence shows that a fan will always be a fan. Suraaj and Prithviraj are brilliant through the movie. Prithviraj excels in the role of a  hassled superstar role.    

3. Ayyappanum Koshyum - Prithviraj is back and this time he has issues with Biju Menon. He no longer seems like a victim as in the case of Driving license. Instead, his character in the movie hides his insecurity behind arrogance and money. The character played by Biju Menon has been made a cop for the well-being of his community. As his superior in the movie says "he can only be controlled through the discipline of being a policeman else he will be on a rampage". In the second half, when Biju Menon's character gets suspended from the police force, he goes on a rampage and the audience start sympathizing with Prithviraj's character. The action and the tussle between the two stars make the two hour forty five minute movie seem shorter. Gowri Nandha plays an interesting character in the movie and has a fiery dialogue and sequence in the movie. 

4. Trance - I love the word trance. I think Scorpions is responsible for this love. They have a great song titled "In Trance". I especially love the part where Klaus Meine sings "I am in a traaaaaaance".  Once I started listening to electronic music, trance became a part of my vocabulary. So when I saw the poster of a jumping Fahad Faasil with the word Trance written underneath, I could not wait to watch the movie. Much to my disappointment the movie received mixed reviews. Watching movies in theatres has become an expensive affair and so I indulge in them only if I have a maximum guarantee. Besides, I have to consider the interests and tastes of the fourteen year old in my house . I took him to a theatre to watch Jallikattu and he hated the experience. The movie was too haphazard for him and he despised the background score. So I did not want to put him through a similar experience. As a result, we chose to watch a movie that he wanted to watch, Sonic, which turned out be a fun experience that I did not expect. I now realize that I made a mistake by not watching Trance in the theatres. Trance is a fantastically mad cap movie. It provides an irreverent peek into the world of Christian missionaries. The movie is like trancy version of the movie "Oh God!" and the Genesis song "Jesus he love you". I am tempted to say that Fahad is the reason for Trance being as good as it has turned out to be but that is not a fair statement. Fahad is fantastic; he gives a no holds barred performance. But there are other brilliant performances too - Dileesh Pothen, Sreenath Bhasi, Guatham Menon, Chemban Vinod and Vinayakan. The background music and the songs are brilliant too and so is the cinematography. The movie is near perfect in a number of departments. The near perfection is spoiled by a pointless forty minute section in the second half. The first few minutes of the second half live up to the name, Trance, more than any other part of the movie. But soon it gets into an annoyingly serious stretch. The forty minutes of seriousness does not fit into the movie. This part is important for the movie's climax but I think the attempt to show Fahad's character in a good light resulted in this part of the movie becoming serious. The strength of his character is that he always thought of himself as a good person. It was not necessary to try and change him by making him see the harm he is doing and in the process bring out the good person in him. I thought the character could have continued to live in his shell of good, as most persons on this planet do. While others went through misery, Fahad could have continued to view himself as a messiah. But the movie falls into the trap of reforming its protagonist, which waters down the impact of the movie. Fortunately, the movie's climax is electric and we walk out of the movie feeling satisfied. I think I will watch this movie again.  

5. Anveshanam - This is a tough movie to watch. Had it been taken well, it would have ended up being disturbing and as a result would not have been enjoyable. The movie is not made well and as a result is a melodramatic and painfully slow investigative mess. Jayasurya is an actor I like to watch but in this movie he is painfully serious. The other actors do not make an impact. The crux of the movie is interesting and also I liked the way it unfolded initially. But unfortunately, some of the actors have not brought out their characters well. Thus as the movie proceeds one's involvement in the story reduces. More importantly we are not shocked by the unfolding events. Secondly, once the details of the crime become clear, the movie loses its grip as the number of suspects becomes small. The movie tries to make it up by throwing in a twist in the climax but this twist waters down the story. It kills the movie. I think this twist should enter the Guinness book of records as the worst one ever. Ultimately, this twist and the unconvincing show by everyone other than Jayasurya make the movie a terrible watch. Interestingly, I thought that Jayasurya's convincing act is also as issue. He convinces the audience that he is speaking the truth and thus reduces the investigative aspect of the movie to nothing. 

6. Kedarnath - I wanted to watch this movie in the theatres. I love the Namo Namo song and it is shot well too. But the reviews for the movie were mixed bag and I decided not to spend half my fortune in purchasing the tickets. After watching this movie, I continue to agree with this decision . It is a decent movie but the story is so ancient that stone age humans might have painted it on the walls of their caves. High caste, high class Hindu girl and a poorer than poor Muslim boy are so attracted to each other that they cannot help but fall in love. Once they are discovered the family does everything to keep them apart, including marrying her off to a creepy but successful high caste, high class Hindu boy. Then it starts raining and Kedarnath gets destroyed. The brave hero, conveniently, dies in the floods (I was fascinated by the red lighted "Overload" sign blinking on the dashboard of the helicopter when two people were left to board the helicopter. The pilot immediately announced that only one of the two can board the helicopter. What! If the helicopter is overloaded, leave both to their destiny or take both. We can suspend our beliefs to think that a blinking-red-overloaded helicopter can take of the hero too. But no! The hero has to sacrifice his life and love to ensure that a son does not lose his father). The last scene shows the heroine dressed in white listening to the hero's favourite song over the radio. As ridiculous as all this sound, I like the movie and have seen bits of it many times over the past few days and I believe will continue to do so. The romantic scenes between Sara and Sushanth are some of the best I have seen in recent times. I like the way he helplessly tries to keep away from her and she helplessly teases him. Both of them convince us that the two characters had no choice but to fall headlong in love with each other. Amit Trivedi's "Qaafirana" sweetens this intoxicating mix. I am not sure if this is realistic representation of life but it sure tastes like a dollop of vanilla ice cream.

7. Uri - I did not like the movie. I started watching the movie with a grudge. This movie shared a national award with "Kumblangi Nights". My Malayalee pride is hurt - I believe it is better for a movie to not receive an award than to share it with a Bollywood movie. Even now I am shocked that Sunny Deol won the National Award for Best Supporting Actor for his screechy "Damini" and Sivaji Ganesan got a special mention award for his role in "Thevar Magan". Sunny Deol winning a National Award by itself is a shock but it being considered better than Sivaji in Thevar Magan is unpardonable. If Sivaji's name was not mentioned then I would not have realized that he "lost" the award to Sunny Deol. It is a wonder Sivaji did not stop acting after this debacle. The same is the case with "Uri" and "Kumblangi Nights" sharing an award. From my point of view, Bollywood movies are good when compared to other Bollywood movies. It is blasphemous to compare a Bollywood movie with a Malayalam movie. So I started watching the movie with a cynical frame of mind. It will be unfair to call Uri a bad movie. I might go as far as calling it decent movie. That's it! No more! The movie did not hold my attention. A few sequences are plainly annoying. The robotic kite sequences, the hero's brother-in-law's funeral sequence and the climatic sequences come to my mind as examples. I like Vicky Kaushal and so will give him a thumbs up - Well tried but try acting in a Malayalam movie.

8. Ladoo - An unknown Malayalam movie which has a set of people in the lead roles. Ladoo is a low budget why-does-the-movie-not-have-a-hero-or-a-heroine type of movie. In this case, the movie has a heroine. But I am not sure if the guy with whom she loves is the hero. There are others in the movie who are as important as the hero. Only towards the end of the movie does the heroine's lover get five entire minutes focused on him. Regardless of this, I laughed through the movie. Lots of jokes and almost none of them are vulgar. The movie has a ridiculous story and is taken in a ridiculous manner. In a generous mood, I might even call it a spoof on romantic movies. I movie might watch it again in the future. Since I am in an unforgiving mood I will end by declaring that I like this unknown movie better than Uri. Eda Uri! Ninakku anganethanne venam! 

9. Porinju Mariyam Jose - The presence of Joju Joseph and Chemban Vinod was reason enough for me to choose this movie. It is a Joshy movie and he tries to go back to his heydays of 80's and 90's. Joju Joseph is going through a great phase in his career. Many of his movies are turning out to be hits and he is winning critical acclaim for his acting too. He got a Special Mention in National Awards for his role in the movie Joseph - an amazingly dark movie. I think Joju started off in negative roles before moving to comedy and now to serious lead roles. I first noticed him for his comic timing in the Mammootty movie Rajadhiraja. Depending on the movie he has the ability to fit into the role. This movie is a masala movie set in the 70's and 80's. At best, the movie is an interesting watch. Besides the two men, the heroine, Nyla Usha and Vijayaraghavan play their role well. The name of the movie is a combination of the names of the characters played by these three actors. Since this is a Joshy movie, there are many violent sequences in the movie.

10, 11, 12. Lord of the Rings (The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers and The Return of the Kings) - I love the book though I have only read it once. I liked the movies but as is usually the case, they are not as good as the book. Many important parts of the book are missing in the movie. Worse, there are a few annoying additions too. A few years back, I got the extended version of the movies; nearly one and a half hours of additional footage are added in the extended versions and this makes a huge difference. For many years, I have considered binge watching these movies - ten continuous hours of LOTR. The lockdown seemed an ideal time to do so but that did not happen. No one other than I was interested in watching them and so I did not get the television. Watching these movies on a laptop using headphones for ten hours is impossible. So I ended up spending the afternoons across four days on the Lord of the Rings. Based on LOTR, I would split the world into three groups. First, people who love LOTR. Second, people who hate LOTR. Third, people who don't bother to hate or love LOTR. I belong to the first group.  

13. Joker - Soon after the lockdown commenced, I received the following message on my WhatsApp. "After they asked everyone to stay home.  America decoded all channels of movies and entertainment for free. Please click on this link .... https://blah-blah-blah the above has all the latest movies.. Very impressed with this link. Worth saving.. Has many choices". I used this site to watch "Joker". A bit later when I tried watching another movie, I realized that the site is a shady one. Since then I no longer visit it. Besides there are a million movies to watch on Prime.  Since then, much to my annoyance, Joker has been released on Prime. I enjoyed watching Joker. Joaquin Phoenix and the pacing of the movie are excellent. Though they keep you hooked to the movie, it is a difficult movie to watch. The protagonist goes through the a number of humiliations for major portion of the movie. I don't think the difficulties he faces are unrealistic and his decision to become a killer does not seem unrealistic either. Only yesterday I saw in the news, a person shooting down 19 people in Canada.  People taking anger out on the society is not limited to terrorists. Actually, an act of terrorism is not necessarily born out of anger. But most of the other mass killings are born out of anger. This is what Joker shows. The big issue with the movie is that the viewer enjoys the transformation of this person. Whether intended or not, it is easy to accept Joker, who is considered a villain, than Arthur Fleck, who is a common man with extraordinary difficulties. If one has a choice between the two, one would prefer to be the former. As I see it, the movie pushes you to this preference through the use of background music and the portrayal of the Joker character. By portrayal, I don't mean Phoenix's performance alone; it includes the manner in which the camera focuses on him and the kind of music that plays in the background. There is something uplifting about being Joker whereas no one would want to be Arthur Fleck. That is the danger posed by such movies on impressionable minds. The other issue with the movie is that Joker is associated with comics. The Joker has been portrayed by many well-known actors in many superhero flicks. As a result, many children are eager to watch this movie. But this is not a superhero flick and I am sure not many children have the patience to deal with this movie. 

14. Kong: Skull Island - I did not plan to see this movie. Actually, I did not plan to see many of the movies in this list but this one did not interest me at all. For a long time, for reasons not clear to me, King Kong and Godzilla did not interest me. Last year, I saw the 2014 version of Godzilla and found it interesting. But this did not arouse my interest in King Kong. Last week, "Godzilla: King of the Monsters" was released on Prime and the introduction to the movie mentioned that this is a follow-up to Kong: Skull Island. So I decided to watch Kong. The movie held my attention as I watched it. But at the end of it, I decided I did not like the movie. I like Tom Hiddleston, especially when he talks, but he does not talk much in this movie. Other than Samuel Jackson and John C. Reilly no one really talks in the movie. Samuel Jackson plays the role of a person who confuses bravery with stupidity. The movie could have been shortened by an hour and a half had his character decided to not be stupid. But the world would have ended up being a dangerous place. As a result he ends up being the most important character in the movie after King Kong. This probably is one of the worst performances by Samuel Jackson. I wasted two hours of my life on Kong. 

15. Jawaani Jaaneman - I did not expect much when I started watching the movie. The reviewers had trashed movie. I think I saw words like "tired" and "stale" used to describe the movie. But I like Saif movies especially when he plays goofy roles. The poster for the movie has Saif in a billowing bathrobe à la Marilyn Monroe and this was good enough for me to press the play button. I really liked the movie. As expected, the story is goofy. Saif is goofy too and his chemistry with Alaia is wonderful. The chemistry between them by itself makes the movie worth a watch. I got to know that Alaia is Pooja Bedi's daughter though I did not see much of Pooja Bedi in her.

16. Sarileru Neeke Varu - I used to watch Telugu movies regularly. First during my college days when Gharana Mogudu was released. After leaving college, I stopped watching Telugu movies till a Telugu friend dragged me to the Jayapradha theater, which I was told was owned by Jayapradha,  to watch Pokkiri. If I am to make a list of the movies I have enjoyed the most, this one will figure in it. Since Pokkiri I have watched every Mahesh Babu movie since. Unfortunately, except for Khaleja none of his movies are half as good as Pokkiri and yet I watch his movies. Of course, I don't watch them in theatres anymore. This one was released on Prime about a month back and I heard it was a super-duper hit in Andhra and Telangana. So I started watching the movie with a some  expectation. It did not live up to it. The movie is not terrible but is far from good either. It has a weird comedy - romance track running in parallel with the main track. The main track by itself is not interesting. Mahesh Babu's character is a one man army. As a result, Prakash Raj's villain character ends up being a clown. In such a situation, the movie moves from scene to scene and story has no relevance to it. Though a waste of time, it is a little better than Kong due to the weird humour track.  

17. Good Newz - I watched this movie right at the beginning of the lockdown and since then I have watched more than twenty movies. So my thoughts about the movie are sketchy. I enjoyed watching the movie. The theme by itself is interesting and plausible. The movie handles the theme in a humorous manner but in real life this situation would result in pain and anger. As I watched the movie, this thought struck me in a few situations, especially when the doctor informs the two couples of the issue. I think it will be interesting to see a serious movie on this topic. Diljith Doshanjh steals the show from the others. I first saw him play a serious cop in Udta Punjab. Since then I have seen him in three other movies and in all them he plays ridiculously comic roles, which he plays well. His role in Arjun Patiala is the best. Akshay Kumar is considered a pro at comedy roles. since the movie Hera Pheri. But I believe he tries too hard to be funny and this becomes a problem. Though his comedy in this movie and others are not painful. Unfortunately, the women don't do much in the movie. Kareena probably does but I don't enjoy her acting and so have nothing to write about her. A reasonably funny movie that I will not bother to see again. 

18. Contagion - For the past two months, Contagion has stayed in the top five recommended movies on Prime. I was familiar with its story and knew that it is about the world being attacked by a virus similar to COVID-19 and that it has similarities to the current pandemic. But for some reason, I did not have a good opinion about the movie and stayed away from it. I have a feeling I have seen this movie in the past but I might be wrong. There are many movies on pandemics. The movie is directed by Steven Soderbergh and I don't like watching his movies. I remember watching Sex, Lies and Videotape, Traffic and Ocean's Eleven. Though I believe these are fine movies, I did not enjoy watching them. As a result, I was not very enthusiastic to watch Contagion. But one lazy afternoon we had nothing else to watch. This movie too was like the other movies by the director - not enjoyable. There were a number of spooky parallels between the current pandemic and the ones in the movie - characteristics of the virus and the fact that it starts in a Chinese city. Since Chinese have the reputation to eat anything and everything, many have believed across the years that pandemics would emanate from some Chinese town. Yet, I did not find the movie interesting. I think the movie should have been an hour longer. It did not build on the suspense and the end came too soon. As the movie proceeded neither did I care for the different characters nor about the virus itself. Watching the movie turned out to be pointless.

19. City of God - I got a copy of this movie from god knows where. It stayed with me for a long time but I did not watch it. I was not very excited about watching a Brazilian movie. I tried watching a few scenes from the movie at some point of time and did not like it. So I let it stay with me. At some point of time I saw a video in which director Pa. Ranjith listed his top 5 movies. "City of God" was second in the list. He mentions that in the video that the movie had a profound effect on him and his movies. So I sat down to watch this movie at the start of the lockdown (or maybe it was a few days prior to the lockdown, I don't remember). It is an interesting movie; like a raw version of the Hindi movie Satya. As I watched the movie, I got the feeling that it is too cinematic to be true but at the end I realized that it is based on real life incidents. The movie is set in the 80s and the depicts the hardships faced by the poverty stricken residents of Rio. Many children on the roads grow up to become killers that is if they don't get killed in the process. Drugs are available everywhere and words like life and well being have no value or meaning. While watching the movie, I found myself living within the movie. The protagonist of the movie did not seem very different from me and every time he was surrounded by trouble, I felt the fear he felt. In the end, I was glad the protagonist was the only character who survived. But the end is not a happy one. The end shows the birth of the next generation of gang leaders. Watching this movie is a surreal experience. 

20. Chhichhore - I find it comforting to watch a Sushanth Singh movie. He acts well and has the ability to carry the movie on his shoulders. I had heard that Chhichhore is an interesting movie but had never got to see it. One evening I was desperately searching for a movie to watch and found this one on Hotstar. I liked the movie for most parts. The college parts in the middle seemed like a crass version of 3 Idiots and Jo Jeeta Wahi Sikandar. These parts had some good laughs. The romance between the lead pair seems to have been done in a hurry and hence seem sketchy. At the beginning of the movie we see that the lead pair are divorced and this probably affects one's view of the romantic parts. Also, this movie is not about romance. It has loftier heights to climb and so the romance is pushed aside quickly. The romantic portions in Kedarnath work well as the scenes are central to that movie and hance a the required amount of time is spent on developing it. The disaster part of that movie was only a backdrop for the romance. In this case, romance is only a tool used to move to the message part of the movie. The message in the movie is painful and preachy. I think 3 idiots has already passed this message effectively. I am not sure why we need a sappy and preachy version of the same. But there are many who don't agree with and thanks to them this movie is a hit. I like some of the funny dialogues and scenes and Sushant Singh is as good as ever. So it did not being a waste of time.

21. Shylock - A typical Mammootty movie. Mammootty is a superman who cannot fly.  Mammootty is a superman who does not wear cape. Mammootty is a superman who does not wear an underwear above his pants. Mammootty is a superman who does not emit laser from his eyes. Otherwise one can be sure that Mammootty is a superman. I think Malayalees can change the Superman phrase to "It's a Bird... It's a Plane... It's a flying Mammootty with a cape and an underwear worn above his spandex pants". He smashes everything that comes in his way. Only once does he let the Police beat him up (Maybe not! I don't remember). At one point,we think the Mammootty character has shades of anti-hero associated with him (not villain, only anti-hero though at his age it is better to term it as uncle-hero). But the anti-hero feel gets messed up in the second half when we are taken through a flashback in Tamil with Rajkiran being a Nattamai like figure. Through the flashback we realize that Mammootty indulged in villainous acts against villainous characters as the villainous characters are actually villainous enough to indulge in villainous activities against the absolutely not villainous Mammootty and his family. This flash back suddenly justifies all the heinous activities that Mammootty indulges in through the movie. The movie ends on a happy note when last of the villains is killed brutally. I did not enjoy the movie; not because all the villainy and killing but due to the dumb flashback. The Rajkiran character is so good that I was glad to see the villain's knife on his back. But all said and done Mammootty ki jai.  

22. Jack and Daniel - I am not being truthful by placing this movie in this list. I had to take a break after watching forty minutes of this movie. I never went back to it and so decided I will not watch it further. I liked the name of the movie and the posters seemed interesting . But the movie has a B-grade feel. Dilip tries to act like a cool dude but ends up seeming like a dull mule. Dilip used to be good in the comic roles but he has not been at his best for the past few years. In Punjabi house and Meesa Madhavan his acting seemed spontaneous but he has lost his spontaneity for many years now. This is the case even in fun-filled movies like 2 countries, where Mamta Mohandas steals the show from Dilip. Besides his involvement in the actress case has reduced my interest in watching his movies. Earlier, I used to watch the comedy scenes from movies like Kalyanaraman regularly but since the case, I have not even watched it even once. Unfortunately, it is difficult to keep the person away from the character he is playing; Personal - professional divide exists only on paper and not in life. The movie also has Arjun, who usually plays cool dude characters well but not in this movie. So the movie seems a bore and I will not waste my time on it.

23. De De Pyaar De - I did not intend to watch this movie. The poster of the movie has Ajay Devgn (I had to check the spelling of his second name. I would have never guessed that there was no 'a' or 'e' between the 'g' and 'n') in the centre with Tabu to his left and a younger actress to his right. It seemed like a middle aged / old man having a relationship outside his marriage with a much younger woman. There was already a new version of the movie Pati, Patni aur Woh. So I was not sure why this version of that movie is required. As I watched the movie, I realized that this is not a version of  Pati, Patni aur Woh. The movie has an interesting premise. Some of the lines in the movie's first half are funny. Ajay Devgn tries his best to be cool old dude but ends up looking like someone who does not know how to react. The second half of the movie is funny. Ajay Devgn's character transforms from being a cool dude to an dull dud. It is an incredible transformation. From being a mildly annoying character he transforms into a totally annoying character. One wonders why anyone would want to associate with this pathetic character but by climax everyone thinks he is not just a purush but a mahapurush. The movie is also misogynistic for the old man gets the young girl but the old woman has still not accepted another old man who is interested in her. The handful of funny lines thrown into the movie helps one to tolerate this movie once. Incidentally, this pathetic movie was a hit too. What is wrong with the people of this country!

24. Simbaa - Ranveer Singh's energy in a Rohit Shetty movie should have made the movie a live wire. Unfortunately, the live wire is fed by a 9-volt battery. The movie starts off well and in the initial parts Ranveer Singh keeps the audience hooked to the movie. But the story gets off track trying to balance between good and bad. The Simbaa character's transformation from the bad to the good is too quick. Nothing he does in the first part of the movie makes you believe he has any kind of good in him. Of course, he feels some kind of affection for the girl who teaches the children by the roadside. But she becomes his 'behan' in thirty seconds. This bond is not developed at all but is the crux of the movie and as a result everything that follows is weak. The movie does not spend time on anything other than Simbaa having fun at everyone's expense. The romantic relationship he has with Sara Ali Khan's character is unconvincing. I don't remember anything about Sara Ali Khan in this movie and after the first hour she disappears almost entirely from the movie. Yet, the movie is almost watchable till the climax. I am a fan of Govinda's Hero no: 1 and so logic is not something I look for in movies. I shut the analytical part of my brain and took in all the din chaks that Ranveer threw at me. But then the climax is unforgivable. It is terrible. What the hell were the makers of this movie thinking! Rohit Shetty is like Shankar - highly overrated. But Rohit Shetty should learn from Shankar the art of making a masala movie. Shankar has the ability to make a good masala movie. The problem with Shankar is that at most times he tries to make a Shankar movie and goes over the top. Rohit Shetty's idea of a masala movie is a lot of noise and colour. The story is always incidental. Thus most of his movies seem interesting for a bit before ending up in what-the-hell territory. Incidentally, this movie is a hit too. Unlike the previous movie I did not use the word pathetic due to the presence of Ranveer Singh.

25. Chunkzz - I am always on the look out for Malayalam movies. I had watched almost all the well known Malayalam movies during the lockdown. So I started scanning the various lists on Prime for lesser known movies that could surprise me.  Ladoo was one such movie and it turned out to be good. Next, I picked Chunkzz. This movie is directed by the director of Happy Wedding. I landed in a theatre in Kochi quite accidentally to watch Happy Wedding and it turned out to be a laugh riot. So I started watching Chunkzz with some expectation. It is a terrible movie and does not come anywhere close to the director's previous effort. I laughed at all the jokes and managed to watch the whole movie. I will be lying if I said I hated the movie or even disliked it. Much to my embarrassment it was fun to watch though it undoubtedly is a terrible movie. It is filled with double entendre and  it insults women, lesbians, Lebanese, fathers, mothers, brothers, masala dosa, husbands, wives, Goa, men, colleges, lecturers, medical shops, friends and pregnancy kits. It is made in bad spirit but I laughed spiritedly at the jokes. People with fragile constitution should avoid the movie. The reaction from a reviewer says it all "Anna MM Vetticad of Firstpost found the film so bad and misogynistic that she refused to rate the film, and instead wrote the film's review in the form of a derisive poem in which she remarked that the film 'is not even worth our ridicule'". But I laughed through the movie and it was a hit at the box office. Damn! I feel guilty for having enjoyed a misogynistic movie!

26. Venky Mama - Telugu movie! Venkatesh is known for his comic timing. The name of the movie and a few scenes in the trailer seemed funny. But I was cheated. This is the worst movie of the lockdown. It was not funny. The jokes were not even jokes. The story was nonsensical. It was taken badly too. It was filled with melodrama. The Indian Army is made to look like a bunch of clowns and the climax seems like a spoof of Uri. Two hours of my life down the drain.

27. Death of Stalin - Death is treated like a joke in this movie. Stalin and his bunch of comrades were ruthless and killed at will. The first few minutes of the movie brings this out beautifully. These scenes also bring out the resultant paranoia among the people. During that period, everyone in USSR did everything with utmost care. The situations seem absurd but these could have happened in Stalin's Soviet Union. Everyone must have seemed ruthless for everyone else and hence death would have seemed more real than life. Thirty minutes into the movie Stalin dies. This part of the movie is hilarious. Stalin gets the treatment he deserves. I went through the Wikipedia pages and realized that the movie was probably not exaggerating. According to Wikipedia, Stalin had a haemorrhage and was not shown to a Doctor for twelve hours. This delay probably resulted in Stalin's death. The power struggle between the various factions close to Stalin starts and ends with one side winning. There are no good people in the movie. This is blackest black comedy that I have seen and is a fun ride. I laughed aloud for a number of scenes and dialogues. I think power hungry people who have no respect for others should be spoofed in this manner. If their souls exist and are roaming around the planet, they should witness the ridiculous manner in which their future generations are treating their name and fame. A great movie to watch that I will probably watch again in a few months.

28 Photograph - I have been wanting to watch this movie for some time but did not get the opportunity till this afternoon. It is from the director of Lunch box and has similarities with that movie. The movie proceed at a slow and quiet pace. The end is not really a conclusion and is only a hint of how the lives of the protagonists could continue. As some of the movie summaries have suggested the story is about an unlikely romance. The reason for the heroine to like the hero is not clear but looking at her surroundings it seems plausible. As the movie proceeded I thought the relationship is based more out of curiosity and a sense of freedom than romance. The two persons really like each other but they are also aware that they would not fit into each other's lives. But this does not hinder them from trying to keep each other happy for the brief time they meet. An interesting movie, which drags a bit in the middle. Maybe they could have shortened the movie by fifteen minutes. Sanya Malhotra steals the show from Nawazuddin. She has a calm presence through the movie. Compared to her role Pataka, this one resides at the other end of the world.

29. Bala - A funny movie on losing hair at a young age. I am tempted to call it a good movie but am not sure. Movies that deal with body shaming are not pleasant to sit through. Combining humour when describing a person's problems ends up in trivialising the issue. But the director has handled some of the embarrassing situations well and has thus made the movie watchable. The casting is good. I am not a big fan of Ayushman Khurana but his selection of movies are excellent. Bhumi and Yami play their roles well. Bhumi once again portrays a role not considered attractive by people. In this movie, the makers seem to have dipped her in black paint before they started the shoot. As a result, she looks odd. For many Indian, women need not be that dark to be consider dark skinned. So the makeup went overboard. Ideally they could have got someone who does not have to go through a process of becoming black. If that would seem insensitive then it is best not to produce such movies.  Incindentally, Bhumi gets to say an interesting political statement towards the end of the movie - "Poora Uthar pradesh chal raha hain bhagvan bharose tho ...". The dialogue came up suddenly and took me by surprise. Worth a watch on Hotstar.

The movies took care of a part of my day for the past four weeks. Twenty nine seems a lot but is just one per day. With ten days of lockdown left I hope to end with forty movies. Damn! I am sure to miss the lockdown once it ends.

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

5. Corona days: Lockdown extends

The lockdown has entered its third week. Instead of writing "the third and final week" I have chosen to write "third week". All the news channel have hinted that the lockdown will extend beyond the planned three weeks. Some say it will be withdrawn in a phased manner but in all probability it will extend till 30th April. The social media continues to act knowledgeable and claim the lockdown will extend till 15th May or 30th June. No one knows! The cases and deaths in India have increased exponentially. The exact numbers of cases and deaths are not clear though. There is a difference in the numbers presented by the different news channels and the worldometers website. The worldometers always provides a higher number of cases and deaths in India compared to the Indian news channels. I guess the site's frequency of updates is higher than that of the new channels. Interestingly, the InShorts application displays the India numbers from the same source as the other Indian news channels whereas the global numbers are taken from the worldometers.  


The graph of the number of new cases in India shows that the number of cases has risen sharply on 10th April. The rise is the largest rise seen by India in a day since the outbreak of the pandemic, which is 750 new cases. When the lockdown began, 17 days ago, the total number of cases in India was close to 600. But from the beginning of April, the per day rise in the number of new cases has been more than 600. To make matters worse, the virus has spread across many districts in India. In the recent days, a few cases have popped in some of  the densest areas of Mumbai. Tamilnadu is third in the list of states with the maximum number of cases. So even if the Government decides on a phased withdrawal of the lockdown, Tamilnadu will definitely be in the last phase. 


As an aside, should the opposite of lockdown be openup? 

The number of deaths has also risen exponentially. On March 25th, twelve deaths in the country were caused by the Novel Corona virus aka COVID-19. AS per worldometers, on April 9th, the number of deaths caused by COVID-19 is 49 and on the whole 229 people have died in India since the outbreak of this pandemic. This graph like the previous one is worrying too. From the number we find that 3.4% of the identified cases ended in death. In comparison in Spain it is at 9.9%, in Italy at 12.73% and in the US at 3.7%. The percentages in India and US are less worrying than that of Spain and Italy. But we need to keep in mind that pandemic is relatively in its early days of spread in India and the US. So it is too early to predict how the values for India and US will change with the passing of time. Lumping India and US in a single basket is also incorrect as India only has 6725 cases as of 9th April, while the US has 474,517 cases. This implies that the US would end up with higher number of deaths if the situation does not get worse. The final piece of information to complicate this comparison is tabulated under the head "Test per 1 million population". The number for the US is 7265 and for India it is at 129. This could be one of the reasons for the lower number of cases in India. But hopefully our lockdown days have helped and the spread of the disease has slowed down. Though some of the things that I say later might contradict this feeling. 

The numbers displayed in the Indian new channels are different from the ones shown above. Instead of 6725 for the total number of cases, it shows 6412 and 227 deaths instead of 199. I thought the Indian media picked the numbers from the information given by the Government at 5 pm every day. But I don't think that is true either. At 9 pm on 10th April, the numbers shown by Indian media is less than the numbers shown worldometers at 9 am on April 10th. The cause of the discrepancy in the numbers is not clear still.

I continue to dislike the name COVID-19. But I think I have to move on and give the virus the respect it deserves. Novel Corona Virus is a temporary name given to a new virus of the Corona strain but that is not its permanent name. The name of the virus responsible for the current pandemic is COVID-19, which stands for Corona Virus Disease of 2019. 

I did not expect this write up to be filled with graphs and numbers. One look and I feel pride rise through me. I even considered sending this part of the write up to some scientific journal. I have a feeling that with some luck it might even get published. But this feeling of pride disappeared when I read through the section for a second time. The numbers, graphs and words actually provide little information. So I will avoid sending it to any scientific journal.


On 3rd April, the US witnessed 1500 deaths in 24 hours. I thought the western news sites would focus on this news and the headlines will talk about this disturbing trend. I was wrong! The headlines talked about Tokyo possibly having cases like New York in the near future. I have seen this kind of trend in a few American and British news sites. Many western countries are going through a dreadful phase and yet they talk about Asian countries being on the verge of disaster. Many of the Asian countries have gone through many disasters and continue to do so. We do not require COVID-19 for deaths and disasters. Yet, the western world finds it annoying that more western lives are lost in this pandemic than Asian lives. Thus many of the channels have disturbing predictions about Dharavi, Delhi, Tokyo, South Korea, North Korea and other Asian cities instead of focusing on the problem at hand. It is interesting to see that the same channels provide glimmers of hope the moment they realise the number of cases have gone down in one of the western countries. But for Asian countries, the news channels are filled with doomsday prophecies. Loss of life is sad regardless of continent, country, state, city, village, religion or colour of skin and the news channels should deal with this pandemic in a fair manner. 

The social media and news channels continue to suggest many dos and don'ts for the pandemic. Many of the suggestions are annoying. They exist only to scare the already terrified lay person. The basic suggestions of wearing a mask, washing one's hands and keeping away from others seem sensible and doable at most times. But now there are articles that talk about the virus living for hours or days on masks or travelling by air from one person to another and so on. For example, let us consider the case of masks. Earlier, it was suggested that wearing scarfs and kerchiefs across the face is not good enough but the non-availability of surgical masks has brought a change to the recommendation. Now, kerchiefs and scarfs are good enough for the general public. In the meanwhile, someone in Rediff came up with this brilliant article - Corona virus can last on face masks for a week study What is the point of this article? We know we are going through a bewildering situation. If the pandemic continues to spread we will all be affected by the virus as we are not living in a perfectly sterile environment. So why do the news channels and websites publish such articles? Some articles inform us that the virus can live on vegetables for 12 hours and so we are asked to wash the vegetables in soap solutions as soon as they reach home. The covers and boxes used to bring food items into our homes might have colonies of virus residing on it. So we are asked to apply sanitizer solution as soon as these object enter our homes. We are asked to wash anything and everything with soap and other chemicals. We will live through the pandemic but will end up with something worse like cancer as a result of ingesting all these chemicals. I think we should live by the basic three suggestions and leave the rest to fate. If the virus has to get to you, it will get to you.

Paranoia rules the world swamped by the dreadful news of the pandemic. The residents of a village in UP called Korauna are being ostracised by the neighbouring villagers. Since the name of the village sounds like Corona and the wise folks around the village believe that people from Korauna are in some way responsible for the pandemic. The existence of such people is proof enough that God has a wicked sense of humour. Speaking of god, I received a message from Satan on my Facebook. Satan said "Hello, this is Satan. I am here to remind you that plagues, great floods and pandemics are God's department. I just do orgies and metal bands." This message is proof enough that we are living through end of days (kali kaalam) with God being wicked and Satan playing it safe.

In Punjab, the residents of a neighbourhood nabbed two crooks and handed them over to the police. The police produced them at a court. At the court, they realized that the two of them were coughing continuously. The crooks were taken to a hospital. At the hospital, one of them escaped while the second one tested positive for COVID-19. Now the judge and seven policemen are placed in quarantine. I am not sure what has happened to them since. A few minutes back, I saw on my television a man in Punjab attacking cops with a sword when they tried to stop the vehicle he was travelling in. The attacker belonged to a sect of Sikh warriors called nihangs. This fellow and his mates are hiding in a Gurudwara and the police are trying to arrest them. The attackers chopped off an ASI's hand.

As the lockdown approached its second weekend the PM appeared on the television at 9 am (not the usual aat baje). He gave some information about the pandemic. He requested the citizens of the country to come out to their balconies and light lamps and candles on 5th April at 9 pm for 9 minutes. It should be noted that 5th April can be written as 5/4 and it adds up to 9.  I was not clear about the intent of this action but many Indians were thrilled by this suggestion and went in search of candles and diyas almost immediately. On the face of it, this request seems harmless. But there are a few underlying issues.
1. I feel uneasy when such a request comes from the PM of a country. Such requests can be compared to a father or mother feeding ice cream to her child to take away the child's attention an ailment. The ice cream might quieten the child and might even be seen as an act of kindness by many but the ice cream could really affect the child's health. It is best if such acts come spontaneously from the citizens through social media. He has activities of higher priority to take care.
2. Ironically, the supporters of the PM and his ideas end up making a mockery of the his words. First, they justify the PM's request by propagating ridiculous justifications for the action. - "Rahu, Ketu and Golu will be aligned at the time suggested by the PM" or "nine is the favourite number of the Siva and Vishnu". I saw a video made by a doctor associated in some manner with the IMA  talking about vibrations related to nine at nine on the day suggested by the PM. I find it suspicious when the word vibration is used in conjunction with religion and spirituality. Vibrations are for tuning forks and not preying monks.

Soon after the PM's broadcast, war broke out between the pro-PM and the anti-PM camps on a few WhatsApp groups. The pro camp picked a fake news about National Emergency being declared from midnight and so the members of the WhatsApp group cannot send anything about Corona and definitely nothing that talks about the PM. The pro camp members in one WhatsApp groups decided to take control of the group by setting stringent rules for posting messages. The group threatened to throw out anyone who posted messages that the self assigned group of admins of the group did not like. A vicious battle ensued with many harsh messages being exchanged and at the end of the battle, the group split in two.

At 9 pm on 5th April, many citizens switched off the lights in their homes and walked out with candles and lamps. The worry that the power grid would fail due to the switching off of the lights was unfounded for the grid did not trip. The interest and enthusiasm shown by the public was visible in the social media and news channels for the next couple of days. By 10:45, images released by NASA at 9:05 pm started flowing through the various WhatsApp groups. I received one such picture from a person who has done his schooling in one of the best schools in the country. I don't think that the fellow thinks that the diyas and candles are seen by NASA satellites but these days I am losing the ability to identify the intention behind people's utterances on social media. 

Unfortunately, the anti-crowd's predictions about nine at nine turning into a fiasco came true. Many across the country acted like idiots. They were asked not to get out of their homes but many were seen marching and dancing on the roads. As they marched down the roads they chanted "Go Corona! Corona go!" Looking at the numbers since April 5 neither the vibrations from the lighted lamps at nine nor the chanting has had any effect on the spread of the virus.

One fellow decided to use some kind of flame thrower instead of a candle. He walked to the centre of the road and heroically waved the flame thrower up and down. Fire spewed from it and a bit of it landed on his kurta. People ran from everyplace and patted his shoulders to put out the flames. Someone grabbed the flame thrower from his hands and threw it away. Three or four people pushed him back home. In another video, a bike got burnt in the "celebrations" (I am not sure if this is an older video though). These are the people who make it difficult for someone to be a part of the pro-PM crowd. They put the PM on a pedestal but will do everything to make his words seem more ridiculous than it is meant to be. I am sure the PM knows this by now and yet he asks our people to indulge in such buffoonery.

The Government should focus, instead, on ensuring that everything is done to stop the spread of the virus. Sadly mistakes have been committed and these are proving to be expensive. Not discovering the Nizamuddin conference earlier has resulted in a few hundreds of additional cases. In Villipuram, a hospital discharged four patients without realizing that they were infected by COVID-19. On realizing their folly, a search ensued. Three of the four have been brought back but the fourth one has not been traced yet.

The BBC carried an article on the COVID-19 outbreak at Dharavi. The writer starts the article by describing the five days spent by a person from Dharavi afflicted by the virus. "The local doctor examined the man and he left with a prescription for cough syrup and paracetamol. Three days later, the man turned up at the private Sion Hospital close to home. His fever had climbed and the cough was getting worse. He said he had no travel history, so doctors gave him more cough syrup and sent him home once again. On 29 March, the man returned to the hospital with signs of respiratory distress. Doctors admitted him, and promptly sent swabs for the Covid-19 test. Three days later, the results arrived - he had tested positive. His condition deteriorated sharply and doctors tried to move him to a bigger hospital already treating Covid-19 patients." This became the first identified case of COVID-19 infection from Dharavi. Once again this miss has proved to be expensive. To be fair, it is difficult for the Government to test all the patients as resources are scarce and our population is high. But I am shocked that the doctors and hospitals did not recommend this patient to the COVID-19 test earlier. Besides the lack of test kits, the fact that the patients have to pay for the testing is resulting in doctors not recommending the tests for potential carriers living in poverty. I am surprised that the Government does not realize that people should not avoid the tests due to its cost. The test should be made free for everyone in the country. It is important for the country to identify all the virus carriers at the earliest.

The Kerala Government seems to have put in their heart and soul in controlling the spread of the virus. The state has developed a robust and wide spread health care system. The state has dealt with emergencies over the past few years and they brought this experience to the fore. The virus spread started in India from this state and for a few weeks, it was one of the states with most cases. But it kept the virus spread under control and is now in the tenth position as far as the number of the cases is concerned. They have also kept the number of deaths to a minimum (two I think). Every evening at 6 pm, the CM has a press conference in which he gives all the required information about the pandemic. A few years back I had written that Kerala is probably the only place on the planet where communism works. In Kerala, communism works with and from the grass roots of the society and that is the reason for it being effective in the state.

The social media was filled challenges from the beginning of the lockdown. It involved placing photographs of various kinds in social media. For the first time in my life someone tagged me for a challenge. I was thrilled (am thrilled still). This cake has many layers of icing. First, I don't have to post my picture in response. Second, the response to the challenge does not start with the dreaded words "Challenge accepted...". Third, I get to choose the ten albums that have influenced my music taste. The one down side is that I have to tag people in every post I make. I hate tagging on social media but have been doing it for the past three days. I was tagged by a person who is my friend on Facebook only. We have probably met once many years ago. I don't think we have ever talked to each other. Our love for metal music was the only reason for us to become friends on Facebook. When Neil Peart died, I had written about Rush on my wall. His wife showed it to him and he started a chat with me saying that he had only listened to Rush songs from the time he had heard of Neil's death. 

The fourteen year old in the house asked me if I had been through lockdowns when I was young. I only remembered four occasions from my childhood when I had to stay at home like this. Three of these occasions involved the death of a political leader. The fourth was not really a lockdown but we were all forced to stay indoors for an evening. The American satellite, Skylab, was supposed to crash down to earth and it was expected to fall into the Indian ocean. The people living in the south of the country were asked to stay indoors as some of the debris might end up falling on our heads. So I sat home with my grandparents expecting to hear a loud sound from above. At that age, I had no idea about Skylab or its size. I did not even know what happens when an object fell through the atmosphere. So I expected the whole Skylab to fall on our terrace. I ended the evening disappointed as the sky did not throw anything at us. The Skylab fell many thousands of kilometres away from us.

As I write these lines, the lockdown is 20 days old. Tomorrow is supposed to be the last day of the lockdown. At the present moment, the total cases in India is 9152 and 308 people have died. The growth in the number of cases is worrying. The number of cases and deaths have increased in Tamilnadu too. So the news channels claim that the lockdown will continue for two more weeks. But the Governments are also worried about the state of the economy and so the Governments are planning to reduce the lockdown measures. I am not sure what that means. I hope this does not mean that people will be let to go to offices or walk around the streets. People have to stay home for a few more weeks else we will end with the many deaths. Good sense should prevail or we will hear many wail.

The CM of Tamilnadu declared lockdown extension till April 30th soon after I had written the above words. The PM came on television this morning and extended the lockdown till May 3rd. He said the Government will relax a few of the rules from April 20th in locations that have been able to control the virus outbreak. Let us wait and watch. "Corona days" has crossed three parts and at this rate will go on to thirteen parts. Let us see how this ride ends. As of now we are here.

PS: No clapping or lighting of lamps or jumping nine times or chanting "Om Nama Narayan" this time.

Thursday, April 9, 2020

4. Corona days: Fantasy - EAE

The meeting had started five minutes ago. The fifteen participants of the meeting sat quietly around the table. Their faces were covered with purifier masks and they protected their hands with sanitizing gloves. They wore a surgical mask under the purifier mask to cover their nose and mouth. No part of their body was visible outside and only their eyes were seen through the transparent purifier masks. The group had been taking part in these meeting regularly and thus were able to identify each other without nameplates or introductions. Though not planned, these meetings had become an annual affair over the past ten years. During the initial days, the meetings were filled with voices. There were many questions and every question had multiple responses. Each of these responses required further discussions. Finally, all these discussions were summarized as action points. During the initial days, the group met for two hours. The participants walked in and out of these meetings with purpose. But this sense of purpose did not last beyond two weeks.

This year was different. The first meeting started fifteen minutes late. Unlike the previous years, all the participants attended the meeting decked in their masks and gloves from the first meeting. The meeting lasted five hours and approximately half of this time was spent in silence. The participants had many questions but most did not have responses. No one could even come up with a ridiculous suggestion for any of the questions. As the meeting proceeded, the participants realized the futility of raising questions and preferred to remain quiet. They let the Central Control do the talking and listened for a few minutes. Once the Central Control started to present conclusions and suggest further action, the chairperson of the meeting switched it off. He then looked at each of the participants and asked "Any thoughts?" Each of the participants looked at the chairperson for a few seconds before shaking their heads and looking away. Usually, the group reached this stage after a few weeks but this year, this was the scene during the first meeting itself. 

Last year's meetings lasted seven months, which was three months more than the previous year's meetings. Usually the group started meeting in February of every year. At the last meeting of the previous meeting, prior to disbanding the group, the chairperson had said "Should we hope for the best and believe that we will not meet again?" He looked at the hopeless expressions of the participants and concluded "I don't think anyone remembers what hope feels like. In that case, see you all in February." This year, the meetings started on January 2nd. It probably should have started on December 24th but the group decided that the world deserved to celebrate Christmas and New Year's Eve  though many around the world did not celebrate these days. The members of the group, stayed indoors looking through their data and talking to each other about it. Over the years the world looked at the start of the meetings with a feeling of dread for it announced the start of the pandemic.

The chairperson looked at each of the members of the group. All their heads hung low. It seemed they had accepted defeat right at the start of the pandemic. He himself felt defeated. He looked down at the table and sat quiet. The Central Control broke the silence. "Would you like to hear the summary of  data I presented? I can also help you with the actions points for the day." Everyone looked at their interfaces annoyed. The chairperson pressed the red button on the screen in front of him. The Central Control said "Thank you. Let me know if you require any help. Have a good me" All the displays in the room went off. The brightness in the room reduced much to the relief of the members in the room. They looked at each other. A few seconds later, all their eyes settled on the chairperson, who suddenly felt the pressure to talk. He cleared his throat and said "Let us start the meeting. What do we do?" Everyone looked at each other but no one spoke. The chairperson sat quietly for a few moments before speaking "I understand. I don't know what to say either". The room was submerged in silence once again.

One of the participants started talking "From my research over the past week, I have come to the conclusion that this is a continuation of the last pandemic. The virus strain remains the same and has not changed from the last time. Apparently, we controlled the virus spread in the major centers of the world but the strains continued to live in remote places. The festival season reunions has resulted in its spread across the world. Thus the virus has spread to a pandemic level within a week of its detection. Unlike the earlier pandemics, humans have been unable to develop immunity to the virus during its previous outbreak. As a matter of fact, many have become extra susceptible to the virus and their conditions are critical." Another participant asked "Are you sure this is a continuation of the earlier pandemic?"
"We are sure about that. The virus strain remains the same. We also looked at the deaths recorded over the past four months. The world has recorded seven percent more deaths during this period compared to the previous year."
"Seven percent!" exclaimed the participants in unison.
The first speaker nodded her head affirmatively and said "Yes, seven percent!"
"But how were we not aware of it?"
"All of it happened away from the major centers. Most of the deaths took place in and around the Faith Centers. They did not publish the data to the Central Control. Even now they have not published the data. We have received this data through unofficial channels and the Central Control is not aware of it still."
"Is that why we did not hear about it in this morning's presentation by the Central Control?"
"Yes."

Everyone remained silent. Once again, the chairperson broke the silence "This is disturbing! We did not know of these deaths till now! Do we know how many people died during the last pandemic?"
"We thought we did. But we are not sure now. During the last weeks of the pandemic, we were focusing on controlling the pandemic and could not verify the data."
"What verification is required? Every human being on the planet is monitored by the Central Control all the time. So why should the data be verified?"
"The global resolution number 2567.A.30090 gave overruling rights to Faith Centers. Many Faith Centers don't let the Central Control or the Nodal Controls track information about the people int the Faith Centers."
"Ah yes! I forgot".
"At the time of the 'Right to Faith Revolution' two thousand Faith Centers were formed. Today, we have two hundred thousand and many of them have grown in power too. Many Governments have people from these Centers at the head. They have been manipulating their relationship with the Central Control too."
"How so?"
"By not providing data. We have got to know that in many place around the planet births are taking place outside hospitals. Thus a good percentage of the population are not registered. These Governments have books to keep track of this population."
"Unbelievable! How many people in this room are aware of this?"
Two of the participant, including the speaker raised their hands. The chairperson looked at them and asked "Only the two of you? How is it that the rest of us are not aware of this?"

The first speaker continued talking "I am sure all of you have heard of Luther"
Everyone nodded their heads. She continued "The Luther project is the code name given to the development of the next of Central Control. As is usually the case, Central Control takes care of this development. But unlike the earlier times this time humans are also involved in the development process. This human part of the development is managed by Global Administration. Global Administration has been planning to have a human alternate to Central Control for many decades. Today everything is being controlled by the Central Control and Global Administration decided to build this human alternate in Project Luther. Of course, Central Control is not aware of this alternate development. All the records are maintained in books. The members are Project Luther have been working with the Governments across the world to understand their process of book keeping."

"Why do we require an alternate process?"

"The Central Control's processes of decision making and acting on these decisions have become so efficient that we are unable to keep track of it. Global Administration had felt this for some time but it came to the fore during the Corvey Prison Annihilation. Many of the inmates tried to escape and the Central Center could not take back control. The Center Control tried informing the Head of the Prison but realized that he was on vacation and others in the chain of authorization were not available immediately. Somewhere in the learning process, the Central Control got the understanding that people in prison are detrimental to society. As a result, the Central Control thought it is important to destroy the prison and inmates. So the Central Control simply destroyed the prison and it inmates."
"How many persons knew of this project?"
"About twelve persons from the different departments. Global Administration did not want the Central Control to be aware of this development for obvious reasons. So the project was only known to this twelve people and we did all the work."
"... and why are you telling us now?"
"Only two of us from the team are left. We lost the rest during the last pandemic and so are forced to shelve the project. Since the epidemics spread is now from the Faith Centers, it has become important for all of us to be aware of this information. But the details about the alternate project should not leave this room. The Central Control should never know this."

The group remained silent for a few minutes. Each person seemed to be taking their time to assimilate the shocking information. The chairperson looked at to the two persons in the room who were aware of the alternate to Project Luther and spoke "I am shocked to hear this. I am sure everyone in this room is aware of the great disasters that took place at turn of the previous millennium. Humanity came together from the verge of extinction and used technology to build this civilization. At the foundation for the development was information exchange. Today, we have a completed connected world or at least we thought we did. The Central Control takes decisions after considering all the aspects of a decision. Hence our world worked well till fifty years ago. Since then the pandemics have caused enormous ravage and once again humanity is on the verge of extinction. We realize not that all this was caused by the paranoia of a few people and fanaticism of many others. As you mentioned we have nearly two hundred thousand Faith Centers and they are spread all around the globe. It will take us decades to collect the data from all these places and bring them under the realm of Central Control. I don't think this will happen without bloodshed either. I think humanity is certainly at the verge of extinction."

The first speaker responded "I understand what you are saying. But the circumstances in which those decisions were taken was different. Since Central Control had control over every aspect of our lives, we could not discuss this with a larger group. The set of twelve people heading the different aspect of the functioning of our planet were the only ones involved in this process. Unfortunately, we did not consider our own immune system's inability to tackle this virus and the resulting spread of the virus. Today, the Global Administration team has lost almost all its members. This group has also become responsible for global administration. Since the alternate Luther Project has been shelved, let us get the Central Control back into this meeting. Let us hear Central Control's plan to handle the situation. We can decide our plan of action then."

The chairperson looked at the two of them unhappily. He then looked at the others and said "Do we have a choice?" The other participants shrugged their shoulder or shook their heads. The chairperson pressed the green restart button on his screen. The room brightened up. Some of the participants covered their eyes with their hands. The Central Control spoke to the participants "Hello there! I have been trying to get through to you desperately. Where have you been?" The chairperson responded "We required a private meeting. Is there a problem?". The Control Center's response sounded annoyed "Private meeting! In the middle of pandemic! We should be making decisions and working on it". The Central Control paused for a moment before continuing. "While you were in the private meeting, the number of cases and deaths in the world doubled. I could not reach anyone of you and so was forced to take the decision. I have declared EAE. The EAE is now in implementation."

A stunned silence enveloped the room. The second speaker was the first to speak "What is an EAE?" The chairperson added "I have never heard of EAE. What is it?"

The Control Center responded "EAE stands for Extinction Avoidance Emergency. It is an emergency mechanism that Central Control has developed to protect the humanity from extinction. Most humans have not realized that the world has been going through a single pandemic for the last 12 years. The Central Control has made it seem like an annual cycle to reduce panic but in reality it has been one long epidemic. To understand about this pandemic we have to go back in time. This strain of the virus has been in existence for more than a thousand years and has at regular intervals caused pandemics.  Fortunately, we have some information of one of the initial pandemics from a thousand years ago. The information is sparse for it comes from a personal journal. But it gives the important information about the spread of pandemic, the harm it caused and the behaviour of humans during the pandemic. The proper records of the pandemics are only available after the Central Control was commissioned. We have tracked the virus closely for the last five hundred years and also compared it with the information we have from 1000 years ago. We have realized that with each pandemic the virus has been mutating. Though at the end of pandemic the virus can contained it was never eradicated. It stayed dormant in humans and mutated. This process has continued for the last thousand years. While analysing the data Central Control realized that the Corona virus is single large distributed organism. The Central Control is not sure about the functioning of this organism but it is clear that everything the Central Control and the humans have done for the last 1100 years is incorrect."

The chairperson asked desperately "What are you talking about Central Control? What is the meaning of EAE? What have you done?"

The Central Control continued "Ten years back, we realized that humans cannot win this war against the virus. So the Central Control started working on a procedure to avoid the extinction of human. We named the procedure, quite unimaginatively, as Extinction Avoidance Emergency. Over the years the Central Control has built a security dome of 100 square kilometres around this place. Over the past few months, the Central Control has ensured that only human being who do not have any trace of the virus are present in the security dome area. The first action of the EAE procedure is to activate the security dome and once the dome is activated no one can enter or leave this safe area. After the activation of the security dome, everything outside the safe area will be destroyed. In fifty years time, the area outside the dome will be safe for human beings. At that point,  human beings will be allowed to go ahead and inhabit the world outside. There are 50,000 human beings within this safe area. That, according to our calculations, is enough for avoid extinction. Ladies and Gentlemen, the EAE was invoked 30 minutes ago. The security dome became functional 15 minutes ago. The destruction of the remaining part of the Earth has begun."

Monday, April 6, 2020

3.5 Corona days: 9ness

9 multiplied by 10 minutes before 9 pm I had to leave my house to meet a person living in house number 9 divided by 3 on the 9th floor of the 9th block. His house was 9 minutes away from my house by walk. My house is neither on the 9th floor nor in the 9th block. As I walked out of the building I found more than 9 persons walking around the complex. None of the more than 9 persons covered their nose and mouth with a surgical mask. Of the more than 9 persons walking around the complex around 9 of them were children. They played and ran around the complex with 9 buildings happily. The others were in their houses preparing for the 9 minutes of candle burning at 9 pm. I pressed the button with the numeral 9 in the lift. The counter in the lift incremented steadily. When the counter reached 9, the doors opened and I got out of the lift to the 9th floor. I rang the door bell of the house numbered 9 divided by 3. I heard a dog bark 9 times from inside. The door opened and I walked into the apartment. I spent 9 minutes in the apartment talking to this person. I pressed the lift button and the lift doors opened when the lift counter showed 9. I walked into the lift and pressed the 0 button. The counter in the lift decreased from 9 to 0. I got off the lift and walked out of the 9th block. Once again I saw more than 9 persons and 9 children walking around the complex with 9 buildings. Both the lifts of my building were on 9th floor. I pressed the button to get the lift from the 9th floor to the ground floor. When the lift reached from the ground floor from the 9th floor, the doors opened. I got in and pressed the button of my floor. The lift passed the 9th floor on its way up. I reached my home 9 minutes after I left the 9th floor of the 9th block. The 9 minutes at 9 pm was still an hour away. I took out my mobile, opened WhatsApp and typed a status message "When 9 people get together at 9 o clock 9 km from the 9th milestone on NH 9, 9 people end up meeting each other at 9 o clock 9 km from the 9th milestone on NH 9"

Not everything said has an inner meaning. Some of things said have no meaning at all.

Saturday, April 4, 2020

3. Corona days:Nine at Nine

Nine: Comes from 5 + 4
Nine: A perfect square
Nine: Lives for a cat
Nine: Lives by Aerosmith
Nine: The cloud to be on
Nine: Planet in days bygone
Nine: Number of yards in whole
Nine: Dante's circles of hell
Nine: DD's serial time
Nine: Saved by a stitch in time
Nine: Rings of power
Nine: Flourine's atomic number
Nine: Members in the fellowship
Nine: Is six downside up
Nine: Nazgûl or Ringwraiths
Nine: In my birthday dates
Nine: At the end of my first decade
Nine: Virtues of Buddha
Nine: Nights of Navarathri
Nine: Sivajis in Navarathri
Nine: Ratnas in Navaratna
Nine: Celestial in Navagraha
Nine: Months of pregnancy
Nine: Years in a big company
Nine: Revolutions by Beatles
Nine: Inch Nails
Nine: No bigger single digit integer
Nine: In the cost of a Bata slipper
Nine: To Five no longer
Nine: A Prithviraj Thriller
Nine minutes at Nine

Lotajokamanixosa

I have been diagnosed with Lotajokamanixosa. The doctor had a grave expression when he informed me of my condition. But unlike the Nova Corona virus my condition is not caused by a virus. It is not even caused by a bacteria. Actually, the doctors are not sure of its cause. They have been observing me for a few days and have managed to get an idea of the cause of my condition. They placed me in a big machine; I think it is called CT scan. A doctor sat in the another room watching the insides of my head through a set of monitors. Apparently, my brain is in black and white. I was inside this big machine and could not really see the screen but I could see the corner of a monitor placed in a corner of the room from the corner of my eye and it showed that a corner of my brain is in black and white and as a result I concluded that all corners and the middle of my brain should be in black and white. 

NOTE: The previous line is a clear symptom of my condition. I could hear a voice in a corner of my brain tell me "If you continue to build long sentences containing many corners, you will find yourself in the coroner's office". But in my current condition, I pushed these words to an inaccessible corner of my cornered brain. For the very last time, corner.

As I lay in this big machine, I heard the door open.  A few of my friends walked in garrulously and the staff at the hospital had to tsk-tsk them to silence. They looked at me sheepishly and waved a set of hellos at me. I waved back. The nurse walked up to me and asked me to start talking to my friends. I talked to them about CAA and NRC and my friends listened. They shook their head this way and that in agreement but did not say anything for the fear of being tsk-tsk-ed again. A few minutes later, the nurse walked up to me and said "Not this kind of talk but your usual talk". I looked at her for a moment before starting a new thread of conversation. I started talking about Deep Purple, Savatage and Fates Warning. My friends looked at each other and rolled their eyes. They started shuffling their feet and one of them requested to leave as he wanted to visit the toilet. Once again the nurse came close by and said "Not like this. Be funny". I looked back at her shocked and asked "What you mean be funny?" She said "Tell your jokes". I was offended by this statement and nearly shouted "I never joke". One of my friends came closer and asked "What are you doing inside this machine?" I looked at him from the corner of my eye and said "My large head is inside the large head of this machine in this large room". My friend went "Ha ha ha" and a few said "good one da". I smiled and continued "The head doctor of the department that looks into people's head is heading towards the next room to look with his eyes which are situated on his head at the pictures of the insides of my head which are transmitted from the head through the head of this looking-into-heads machine on one of the terminals that is above or below his head". My friends started laughing uncontrollably. Some shook my hands. All of them showered praises on me - "Good one da", "Super da", "That's a heady statement da", "You are the best man", "How do you do it!" From the corner of my eyes, I looked at the nurse. She was not laughing. Instead she was looking at my friends and me bewildered.  It seemed that her eyes were ready to pop out of her head.

The head doctor walked into the room and said "That will do! Please meet me in my chamber in 30 minutes". I looked at the head doctor who was visible from the corner of my eye and asked "you have a chamber?" The head doctor responded with a touch of anger in his voice "My room!" I placed my head back on the machine and said "Oh room!"

The doctor was sitting behind his desk looking at some papers when I walked into his room. With his right hand he directed me to sit on the patient's chair. I looked at the chair hesitantly. For the past few weeks I had been a regular occupant of that chair. As a result I did not like sitting on it; it was also placed close to the doctor. When I was young I went through a dreadful disease that required me to take injections every day for two or three months. I did not cry or make a scene when the doctor injected me with some dreadful medicine but I always hated the sight of the needle approaching me. Since then I have done my best to keep away from doctors. The trauma of those days has resulted in me not talking to a cousin once he became a doctor. 

I walked towards the seat hesitantly and sat on it tentatively. The doctor said without taking his eyes off the papers "don't worry the chair will not bite you". I looked down at the chair and responded "That's reassuring." The doctor turned around and looked at me for a moment. He held a grim expression on his face. He cleared his throat and said "My friend!" He did not continue but continued to look at me. Like Anand in the movie Anand, I wanted to tell the doctor "Babu Moshay! Kah daliya doctor saab, Aapka man halka ho jayega". After a few second, the doctor once again said "My friend!" and went back to silence again. My jaw dropped to the floor like Jim Carrey's in the movie Mask. The doctor cleared his throat, brought a grave expression on his face and said "My dear friend! I am afraid you have a condition that we refer to as Lotajokamanixosa". I was stunned. The whole world started spinning around me. My world started falling apart. I felt the hand of death tightening around my throat. All of a sudden, death loosened its hand and the world stopping falling apart and spinning. I cried out "Wait a minute! What the hell is Lota-whatever-whatever." The doctor placed his hand on my shoulders. I was tempted to take that hand off his shoulder but unfortunately I don't give into violence and so I let him have his hand. He said in an annoyingly soothing voice "It is not Lota-whatever-whatever. It is Lotajokamanixosa. It is a serious medico-psychological condition that is seen in some parts of the world. Twenty seven cases have been identified so far. The patients afflicted by this condition are all in their teens or twenties. You are the oldest". For some inexplicable reason, the doctor decided to stop. Somehow nothing he said made sense for me. I asked "What is this Lota...? This disease what does it have to do with my headaches". The doctor got up, he placed his hand on my shoulders and said "let us sit on the sofa". 

The doctor's office seemed more advanced than the Starship Enterprise's bridge. The guy had an affection for the colour white; not surprising for a doctor. This affection became apparent as soon as one entered his room. Other than his stethoscope and pants everything else was white in his room. At one corner of the room, he had placed a white sofa and on opposite wall was a white screen on a white wall. A projector attached to the ceiling, also white, projected whatever the doctor wanted to project, on to the white screen on the white wall. We sat down on the sofa. The doctor dimmed the lights and said "I have a video. This will give you an idea of your condition." I did not like him using the word condition for my condition but I was in no condition to protest so I let him get away with his usage of the word condition. 

A video started playing.

It reminded me of the "Cigarette smoking is injurious to health" message that is shown prior to movies. The ones referred to as "swasakosam" in a few Malayalam movies. A young chap was sitting on a chair bent forward holding his head in his hands. A few people walk in through the door and starts talking to him. He lifts his head and tells something in Japanese. The subtitles translated his words to "I have a splitting headache". The others look at him with sadness in their face. One of them asks "did you visit the doctor?" He looks up and responds "Yes! I have Lotajokamanixosa". The friends ask in unison "What is Lotajokamanixosa?" He responds "Lotajokamanixosa is a condition of the brain in which the Amygdala grows and as a result the person has headaches". The friends say "Oh!" in unison. He continues "It is not a common condition. Only a handful of people have been affected by this condition. The are no real cures for this condition". The friends once again say in unison "But what will you do?" He responds "I have to take some medicines and also do meditation and Yoga." The friends respond in unison "Oh!"

I got tired of the video. It was worse than the swasakosam videos. It did not matter that it was "Made in Japan". The doctor had not come back yet. He said he will return in 30 minutes and he had been gone for only five minutes. I was unable to put up with another minute of the video let alone another twenty five minutes. I had been in the hospital for 5 hours by then and had no idea how much longer I had to stay. The left side of my head started aching. I looked around the annoyingly white room. A piece of red arrested my attention. I got up and walked over to the white table by the white wash basin. The break in the white was caused by an unopened cake of soap with a red wrapper. The small packing had a lot written on it. I was amused to see the following words written on the bottom of the pack.

Your skin is exposed to sun, dust and pollution every time you get out. This puts you at risk of skin problems like blah, blah and blah. Regular use of this soap reduce this risk by 95%, giving you healthy and radiant skin, which is why doctors trust it 100%.
* Based on internal study conducted in some month of some year and same month as previously mentioned of some other year.

As one went through the words they seem to make sense but at the end of it I realized it did not mean anything. It gives a lot of information but the information does not mean anything. The writer of these word might be one of the twenty seven persons affected by this condition called Lotajokamanixosa. I threw the bar of soap on the table and went around the room. I looked at the books in the white book shelf. The books were all of dull colour and merged with the whiteness of the room. All the books belonged to the medical field and I was unable to even understand the meaning of their titles. I moved on and looked at the objects spread over the table. I did not find anything of interest there. I went around the room and came back to the couch again. The video had proceeded from the patient in Japan. Now the people on the screen were speaking in Spanish. The video was as boring as the earlier one. I read the subtitles for a few minutes. They were the same as the subtitles of the earlier video about the Japanese patient. I wondered if the persons on the screen were actors or the actual patients and their friends. I observed the people for some time. Their feelings seemed more real than real. Actors! I concluded.

The ache inside my head increased. The doctor will not be back for another fifteen minutes, that is assuming he would not be delayed. I looked back at the room. Its brightness made my head throb. I made a decision. I opened the door and walked out. The crowd and noise of the corridor shocked me. It was a welcome change from the brightness and loneliness of the room. I walked towards the exit. I stopped at the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to give me a strip of the universal cure for all ailments, Crocin. The pharmacist looked at me suspiciously and asked "Crocin?" I said "Yes!". Suspicion did not leave his face "Nothing else? No prescription?" I responded confidently "No prescription! I came with a friend to meet a doctor". He eyed me suspiciously for a few seconds before walking away. As I was leaving the pharmacy, I saw the doctor's assistant walk out of the corridor searching the crowd. I ducked into the crowd and walked out of the exit.

As I walked out of the gates, a feeling of being free spread through me. I looked at the flowing traffic with a smile and took a deep breath of the smoke filled fresh air. I tapped the strip of Crocin in my pocket and thought "The perfect cure of Lotajokamanixosa lies right here in my pocket. No doctor can prescribe anything better."