Rider with a storm

The drive was taking longer than I expected.  I plan to be in the office by 10 but office was still 30 KMs away.  I had reached the outskirts of the city and with the increase in traffic the speed had reduced considerably.  I estimated that the remaining distance would take more than an hour.  The journey that started pleasantly as I had thought it would had by then turned grim.  Early morning sparse traffic and the smooth highway ensured that my speeds were in the three figure mark most of the time.  The loud music screaming out of the speakers enhanced the experience.  Many would not have termed the situation as pleasant but for me it was good enough to scream out a few lyrics.  

The traffic increased considerably when I was about 70 KMs from the destination.  It is at around this time that my abdomen informed me that the fluid pressure was building up.  It had not gone above the danger mark but it was something I need to take notice of.  I thought of getting out of the highway and letting go in proper Indian style.  But I had long passed the bushes and fields part of the highway.  Now it was all factories and offices that preceded the city.  I could not possibly let it out on a factory wall; the security might kick my butt.  There were a few ideal vacant spots but by the time their existence registered in my head I was a good 500 metres away from them.

My head requested the abdomen to hold on for an hour and ordered the body not to generate fluid for the same amount of time. Though the abdomen responded positively the remaining part of the body turned down the request summarily by letting me know that it was all my fault. "You did not take heed of our order to avoid washing down 500 ml of coke over and above the unaccountable ml of water" was their charge.  All this liquid cannot be assimilated by the already flushed up cells and had to go someplace, which was outside.  So the pressure continued to build up.  The road took my attention off this build up.  I ran into a traffic jam, right at the entrance of the city.  I cursed and craned my neck attempting to see something.  I could only see the tops of many stationary cars.  I cursed and fell back.  That is when the realization of the unbearable pressure build up hit me.  I was in the center of the road and there was no spot for me to relieve myself.  I cursed again.

From then on thing became hazy.  I could only remember a few things between that time and the time I reached the office.  Every time a vehicle ahead of me slowed down, I cursed every ancestor of all the persons in that vehicle.  Every time a police man stopped my car to let some pedestrians cross, the ancestors of the policeman and the pedestrians were affected in a similar manner.  Every time I remembered the existence of my abdomen, I felt like the Mulaiperiyar dam in monsoon.  One time I parked the vehicle on the side of the road, picked up the empty bottle of coke and considered using it.  But I was not sure, if the contents I planned to pass into it would be less than 500 ml.  I threw the bottle away, cursed my ancestors, pulled the car back on to the road violently and in the process nearly ran over a pedestrian who cursed all my ancestors too.  I continued on and with every passing KM tightened the muscles in my pelvic region.  I am sure that region must have reduced in size considerably due to all the tightening.

Finally, the office was in sight; just one signal to get through.  I had to cross my legs while waiting the signal to turn green.  My control seemed to slip away now that the destination was so close.  I rubbed my eyes and looked again to ensure that this was no mirage.  Nope, the office remained there.  I started off with a "come on" and made up a sentence with many combinations of the F-word - the intent of the sentence when you removed all those words was "Why is the signal taking so long?",  God, I guess, responded by turning it green and soon I was pulling into the parking lot when the bloody watchman put up his hand and stopped me.

"ID card please"
"Aye, move away.  I need to go urgently."
"ID card please"
"Bloody hell! Where the hell is it?  Ah, here it is.  Are you happy?  You bloody fool."

The actual words used were not as innocent as the "Bloody hell" and "Bloody fool" but for the sake of readability I choose not to put those precise words.  I guess this reduces the authenticity of this write-up and I have to probably put a rider "based on real life events".  To cut short story short, I reached the restroom.  Contrary to my expectation, I found the restroom unoccupied, ran into it, opened the zippers and LET GO.  An amazing amount of liquid started flowing out at an even more amazing speed.  Its landing was so noisy that the Niagara falls would have hung its head in shame.  I am not sure how long the flow continued but it was long enough to flood the area around the office, that evening.  Of course, the rains that day might have helped but I carry the guilt that I am the major contributor.