People ask why I, curiosity, killed the cat? Well, I hate to admit this, but I was jealous. I am jealous still and would readily kill a few more cats. Did I hear you ask why I am jealous of the cat? Well! The cat lived an easy life. He lazed all the time, sometimes here and at other times there. In the past, he, at least, scampered around for food twice or thrice a day. But now, he only had to stretch his paw and food arrived. Not twice or thrice a day but every time he stretched his paw food arrived. Humans were ready to serve him, wherever he went! Different people served him different cuisine at all times of the day and night too.
Here is the worst part, at most times, he did not eat the food at all; did not even touch it but wasted it all. I mean, he did not even feign interest and nibble at the food. He just plainly ignored the human and the food placed in front of him. The stupid human instead of being offended by this arrogance, fawned at him. "Oh! The poor kitty is not hungry. He's chleepy. Chleep little baby." Then the stupid, stupid human went ahead and kissed the cat. Kissed the cat! Hmph! That is the most disgusting sight on the planet.
This creature was smaller than a small dog, but it was adored by so many. It was the centre of attraction for most humans. At least, a dog wags it tail and licks his human companion but not the cat. Never! Sure, the cat wagged his tail, but he did so leisurely for his own pleasure and not for others. Sure, the cat licked, not others, only himself. I mean the cat lived with leisure. No hurry, no gratitude, nothing but only lived for himself. Is there anything wrong with that? No, nothing! That's the way life should be lived.
So, what is the problem? Why did I kill the cat? I shouldn't have. He did not deserve the death. He only went about living his life. It’s those damned humans who deserved the death. Calling that useless creature, cute, petting him, feeding him and kissing him. Kissing! Ridiculous! I hope the human race goes extinct just for this. I wish I had killed the human but that would be a crime. But killing a cat isn't and so I drove the car over it. Crushed it under the wheel. So, it's not just curiosity that killed the cat, it is also car-iosity that killed the cat. Ha, ha, ha, crushed him! Gone forever and ever and ever. Now just a splatch on the road. No longer cute. Try kissing him now, you losers. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
There, there, there, stop looking at me like that. I am not a villain. I just gave into my jealousy. I am only being human. I have the right to kill that cat. I run around trying to figure out things all my life, but what did that cat do? Nothing! He just relaxed. While everything under and above the sun catches my attention and grips me, the cat gave a damn about anyone or anything. Once, I saw a cat wait for a rat come close to it mouth instead of chasing the rat like Tom. Just lying there, wagging his tail slowly and waiting for the rat to come closer. If you are wondering what happened ultimately, the rat stupidly went close to the cat's mouth. But by then a stupid human fed the cat butter biscuits. So, the cat ignored the rat. Shucks, I should have run the car over that human.
But ultimately, I could only kill the cat for that phrase, curiosity killed the cat rhymes better than curiosity killed the human. No, the latter sounds terrible. Curiosity can kill the crow or even a koala but that would be difficult. Crows are quick and I have never seen a live Koala. Cats on the other hand are lazy. They would rather be run over than move away from the path of the car.
So, I, curiosity, killed the cat. If you ask will do it again, I will respond yes. Why not! It’s not like killing cats would result in a catastrophe. I understand that it would be a catastrophe for the cat itself but that would not be a catalyst for a major cataclysm. So, get those cats, load them on a catamaran and cast them away to the Catalan.
Catham!
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