Theory of relationships

Sometime back, a friend was offended when I thanked her. I think she objected bringing in formalism to friendship. Today, I had an occasion to thank her again. My hand hovered around the 'T' key for a few moments. In the confusion, the "Theory of relationships" came into my mind. The theory states

Any relationship can survive the passage of time if and only if its participants bring in the required amount of formalism between each other.

The proponent of the theory is lost in the magnitude of time. Many have tried to understand and explain this theory. Thinkers of the current times tend to accept the commentary by Italian renaissance thinker, Luigi Bonatti II. According Luigi, relationships tend to break down when the people involved take each other for granted. Formalism brings in the required rules to be followed regardless the closeness of a relationship. This and only this ensures that the parties involved don't end up in contempt of each other. "Of course" Luigi says "one should not bring too much formalism into a relationship as this would make a relationship a formality."  My interest in Luigi increased when I came across his interesting but mostly forgotten corollary to the theory of relationship, which states

Its better to have a relationship based on gratitude than apology

I found a translation of Luigi's autobiography. It focused, almost exclusively, on everything that can go wrong with relationships. His relationship with his father was immersed in so much formalism that it ended up being a formality. When his family died in a tragedy, he took over the ownership of his father's estate. He threw away all the formality to the wind and indulged in different types of intimacies. The lack of formalism and overdose of intimacy continued into his marriage. Soon Luigi was swamped in relationships reeking with contempt. His life was spent apologizing to anyone and everyone. The last part of the autobiography is spent describing Luigi's discovery of the theory of relationships  and his proposing the corollary. He ends his book with the lines.

I lived a life

With everyone and no one

I received love

From everyone and no one

I thought relationships

Mean to love and be loved

I do not know 

What it is to love and be loved

It is a sad book and I regretted reading it. But knowing Luigi proved helpful to me. I typed "Thanks" and pressed send.