I hate Jack. Most times, he is a mean bastard. Yeah! Mean Bastard! That is the only way I can refer to him. He has the wicked gleam in his eyes as he says the most innocent and many times loving words on earth. Then the fellow goes ahead and does something terribly mean. I remember the first time I met him. He was involved in an incident involving three women and he was claiming innocence with the words "You may think me crazy, but I know music. It's the one thing that makes me humble." All of us believed him. He walked away scot-free. Even the women involved in the incident forgave him.
I got curious and decided to find more about him. Many claimed that the guy was a certified lunatic. As I got to know him, I believed it. His favorite phrase was "Jesus, I must be crazy to be in a loony-bin like this." He was obnoxious. Once he did not like the songs being played in a restaurant. He called the manager and yelled "You play that thing one more time, I'm gonna melt it down into hairspray." The poor lady ran for her life into the kitchen and was never seen again.
At some point of time, I found his company interesting and had the misfortune of paying to the dentish with him. He said masochistically "Most people don’t like to go to the dentist but I rather enjoy it myself. There’s a real feeling of progress when that old drill goes in. I’d almost rather go to the dentist than anywhere." Post the visit, I avoided him for a few days but it was tough to keep away from a fellow who oozed charisma as much as he did. So one day I found myself in his house. He talking to his son "I love you Danny. I love you more than anything else in the whole world and I will never do anything to hurt you. Never! You know that don't you? Hmmm?" Though the talk started off sweet, it ended on a terrifying note. To make things worse, he had the most wicked expression on his face with his eyebrows raised and an evil grin.
Unfortunately, Jack loved Wodehouse. People who are not aware of Wodehouse were confused by some of the things he mentioned but the ardent fans were definitely thinking of murder. I have found him slip a mangled version of the name Jeeves in most conversations. "Looks like you might have got a spot of it on yourself there Jeevesy old boy." "Here I will just hold this for you Jeevesy. ""What do they call you around her Jeevesy?" What is wrong with you, Jacksy?
Jack always considered himself truthful. Whenever he was caught lying he used to retort with “I have never lied to you. I have always told you some version of the truth.” When the situation gets out of hand, he would fall back on his trusted retort “You can’t handle the truth!” Jack lived a life on the edge. Every one believed him to be horrible but loved him anyway. They could not help but let him be a part of their lives.
Unfortunately for Jack, he aged quickly. He went from a dashing jet setter to a lone old man looking for love and company. One could find him sitting in a cafe dropping lines like "You make me want to be a better man" to every woman crossing his way. Maybe someone will believe him one day and make their life miserable.
Until then he will live on with his motto of "I don't want people to know what I'm actually like."
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