Little talks

As the teacher walked in, the little girl in pink ran to him and said loudly "She fell because of him" pointing at her friend . "What did he do?" asked the teacher. "He blew the whistle so loud that she fell." came the reply. The teacher was perplexed and asked "Which whistle?". The girl pointed to the whistle attached to her pink umbrella and said "He wanted to see it. So I gave it to him. He took  it and blew the whistle very loud and she fell." Oh!" said the teacher "your umbrella come with a whistle. How interesting!" The girl proudly held up her umbrella and said "Yes! My father bought it. I love it." "It is a pretty umbrella" said the teacher. The girl who had fallen spoke "I have an umbrella from Canada". "Oh! From Canada is it?" asked the teacher. "Yes! My father bought it from Canada. It is a red and white umbrella." The teacher tilted his head, thought for a moment and asked "Is it red and white or white and red?" The girl responded confidently "it is red and white umbrella. It has red leaves on white." "You mean red leaves on white mean it is a red and white umbrella is it?" asked the teacher. The girl in pink interjected "Yes! Red leaves on white means it is red and white".

The girl who had fallen changed the topic by asking "Do you know I have a little brother?" The teacher responded "Yes, I do. You told me last week." She continued "he's so small. He's tiny."  "This tiny?" asked the teacher. The child did not agree for the teacher's tiny was too tiny. "This tiny. He is four months old. In two months he will be six months old" she said. The girl in pink butted in with "I have a six month old baby brother. He was sleeping on the cot the other the other day. He kept rolling around the bed and fell out of the cot. So my mother placed a smaller cot besides the cot on which he was sleeping but he fell from the cot on to the smaller cot and cried." The other girl cut in and said "my baby brother does not let me sleep. He jumps on me and tries to open my eyes. I slept late that night and was sleepy the next morning at school". The girl in pink walked away. The other girl continued "You know my baby brother has been named". The teacher asked with interest "What's his name?" The girl responded "I don't know". She noticed the disappointment on the teacher's face and tried to assuage him by saying "You can ask his name to my mother when he is ten months old. But you will have to come home to ask her." The teacher nodded in agreement.

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The teacher was talking in Hindi with the art teacher when the girl in pink walked by. On hearing him talk in Hindi she turned around and asked "Aap hindi mein baath karte ho?" He responded "han baath kartha hoon!" She said "Mein bee ghar mein hindi mein baath karthe hoon" and walked away.

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The children came running to him. One of the girls held something in her hand. As they came closer he realized it was some kind of snack. The girl handed him a cracker with vegetables and cheese stacked on top and said "We made it! We made it! Have this canopy and tell us if you like it." He looked at it joyfully and said "It looks inviting. I will eat it in one month". The children squealed in anticipation. He opened his mouth wide and pushed the loaded cracker into his month and started chomping it. The children clapped their hands and squealed in happiness.  

This isn't ridiculous!

As is usually the case, I slid to the status screen of WhatsApp. I saw two messages from a stranger who had crossed my path at a miserable phase of my life. It seemed I did not wish to remember them and so I have forgotten about them. But the contacts application in my mobile phone has a mind of its own and so continues to remember them. Status message containing sayings and quotes are usually puke worthy but I like to test the strength of my mind and stomach by reading each of them. I am glad to observe that even the worst of these messages have not affected my insides. So I continue to read them and end up with the feeling of a finger poking down my throat. 

These messages were different. They were like a pendulum that swayed from puke worthy to ridiculous through profoundness. I have not been able to decipher the category to which they belong but record it here to ensure they are not lost in the eternity of time.

A racoon crooning in at a coroner's office sounds cryptic for a circumspect mind - Dr. Tacor Oner

If ducks could run, they would have run and that would have been unfortunate for the ducks. You know what I mean - Anonymous

I love watching T R Ramachandran movies. In one of the movies, he finds a baby in the back seat of his car and says "Adada baby!" in the most endearing manner. His ability to appear foolish on screen has not been surpassed by any. Recently, I saw his 1941 movie "Sabapathy". He was brilliantly funny in the movie. His essay about a train journey, written in Tamil, left me in splits. Ironically, the funniest episode of the movie was the result of a literal translation in the subtitle. This occurred when one of the characters mentions

"siru villayattu Pillainu ninaikatheppa"

Promptly the following subtitle appeared underneath.

"don't think I am a small playboy"

Wierd beard

She looked high and low 

But did not find him

So she decided

To look low and high

And yet she could not find him

So she left it all

She gave it all up

For she decided

To go up the mountains

In search of a long and dark cave

She found such a cave

With an underground stream

Which helped her decide

To spend her life in penance

As she went in search of herself

At the moment, he appeared

With a beard long enough

To touch her heart

But she was long gone

From the spot where he appeared

And so they remain still

Separated by miles 

Though their thoughts match

They are not destined to meet

As she no longer searches for him

Aim, focus and direction

As he walked into the toilet, he saw the small twelve year old with a big mouth walk out. He smiled at he boy and said "You spend a lot of time in the toilet". The boy responded with an amused "so do you!" He smiled at the boy and walked to a urinal. He was shocked to find the boy turn back into the toilet and walk towards another urinal. Based on his previous interactions with the boy he decided not to question the boy further. But the boy was in a chatty mood. He said "I have a question". The boy kept one of his hand on his hip and asked "How can you keep both your hands on your hips like this and use the urinal properly?" For a moment he was at loss for words. He thought and gave the boy a few words that could prove useful both inside and outside the urinal.

"You should have aim, focus and direction."

As he walked out of the toilet a colleague waved him down. As she walked up to him, he noticed the agitation in her step. As expected, she delivered an unpleasant news without missing any piece of the gory details. He listened to her rants with his right hand on his chin. At the end of her monologue, he gave  her a noncommittal "I will take care of it" and walked away. Within a few step, a set of girls surrounded him and gave a different version of the unpleasant news. Actually, it was not different version but a small part of the unpleasant event, like the part where Bheema met Hanuman in Mahabaratha. Once again he responded noncommittally. Within a few paces, a group of boys surrounded him. These fellows had an entirely a different version of the news. They were the purported creators of the unpleasantness and their view of the events were different from what he had heard earlier. He was reminded of the stories of parallel universe that the scientific philosophers loved to talk and write about, He responded with a grim "I will talk to you fellows later" and walked on. But one of the boy did not allow him to go far. The boy blocked his way and started providing proofs of innocence for an unpleasant event that had not reached his ears yet. He waved him away and walked on. 

At the lunch table, he met a boy whose teeth were in constant danger of being broken thanks to the annoying smirk on his lips. As is usually the case, the boy was at a table that was not assigned to him. He snarled and barked at the boy. I am unable to hide my appreciation for the quality of his bark and snarl. I am sure he could teach German Shepherds and Rottweilers a thing or two about snarling and barking. The boy jumped up and cried out for justice as Louis XVI had done in front of the guillotine a few centuries earlier. As in the case of Louis XVI, he only received a "GRRRRRR!" and "WOOF! WOOF!" in response. The boy walked away shaking his head. He sat on the table and was about to place a handful of food into his hungry mouth when a colleague walked in with a "I have to tell you something about what happened a few minutes back when I was dealing with that set of boys who did not act in a proper manner and caused a lot of issues for others and in the process delayed our work and caused us a lot of problems, which resulted in our work being unsatisfactory and also in delays, which could have been avoided if the fellows had not caused the trouble which resulted in a lot of avoidable problems..." He put up his hand and at first said "GRRRRR! WOOF! WOOF!" and followed it with another "GRRRRRRR! WOOF! GRRRRRRR! WOOF!" She took heed of the words uttered by hi, and said "OK! You finish your lunch. I will talk to you later."

He looked at the food in his hand and said "I should have aim, focus and direction."

Stormbringer

They convinced him that the view from the thirteenth floor would be spectacular. They coaxed him to pay extra for the sea view. They were not lying for a line of blue was visible close to the horizon and on a clear day the thought the sea existing at a visible distance brought peace to his mind, which loved to be in turmoil at most times. The view, as they had said, was spectacular but not on this day. This day the sea was in turmoil and it exchanged angry words with the air above. They whooshed and swooshed at each other and wooooo of their exchange sounded eerie. The thirteenth floor seemed lonely and naked. At some point, the wind, as is usually the case, got emotional and started weeping. Anger merged with sadness resulting in tears. A blanket of wetness covered the earth. As droplets of water settled on the glass door, his view was obstructed. He opened the door and walked outside. He let the door remain open. The ever curious droplets entered the house and started running everywhere touching everything on its way. 

He stared at the wildly swinging trees below. They seemed to hypnotize him for he too started rocking back and forth to the beat of the swinging trees. His mind started wandering and he felt a slight breeze blowing at the back of his mind. He heard Perfect Circle's "Freedom of choice" in his mind.

Freedom of choice

Is what you got

Freedom of choice!

He preferred Perfect Circle's version of the song than the version by FuManchu or the original by Devo. The pleasantness of Maynard Keenan's voice did not hide the pain, anger and sadness. He wanted to go back and listen to the song but the swinging trees captivated him. He could not move and so he did not move. The breeze inside his head strengthened steadily. The song had not sneaked into his head out of nowhere. The seeds of the song were planted during the annoying two hour long meeting at his work. A circle of people talked about "Freedom". He did not take part in the discussion - neither did he talk nor did he listen. He heard voices and words but he did not have faith in most of them as he believed his colleagues had more regard for words and diction than their inherent meanings and actions. To make matters worse, they were discussing about the abstract and non-existent concept called freedom. He had struggled with the concept of freedom for many years. The many combination of beautiful words and sentences by men and women of greatness did not mean much to him. He could not determine freedom's meaning in the absolute sense and hence had thought it pointless to think about it. But the discussion that day brought it back to the fore.

The slight breeze in his mind had strengthened. He could not ignore it anymore. The winds were threatening to rake up a storm, inside and outside. The winds were now strong enough to push him away. He held onto the railing to maintain his balance. His eye hurt due to the impact of the droplets. He closed his eyes and listened to the strength of the wind and water. It cried and howled. Maybe it was trying to tell him something but his mind was busy minding the storm building inside. In the background, he realized that the song hand changed inside his head. John Garcia was chanting "Freedom Run" in an infinite loop. He let the chant continue and his mind latched on to the word "freedom". Words started flowing in. No! That's not right. Words started rushing in; if his mind was not preoccupied he would have been reminded of the song "Rosetta stoned".

Freedom is nothing but a word that like many other words have different meanings for different people at different times. All organisms on this planet is dependent on each other and on the planet itself and thus it is ridiculous to think of physical freedom. Pressure and gravity are the greatest enemies of physical freedom. Unfortunately, our existence depends on these two entities and so we have no choice but to accept our physical bondage. Freedom of the intellect is more complicated. Humans really do not understand what constitutes intellect and thus it is ridiculous to talk about it and its freedom. Ironically, freedom can only exist within the four walls of the intellect. We can think what we want without worrying about right and wrong, good and bad, beautiful and ugly, black and white and similar opposites. I have the freedom to think what I want. In theory, no one has the power to stop me from thinking about anything. But reality is never so straight. Humans quickly realized the danger posed by the freedom of intellect for they guessed, rightly, that freedom of action would follow and this would result in people doing what they want. To counter this possibility humans created organizations - kingdoms, castes, professions, religions and educational institutions. These organizations are all based on control of thought. We are made to believe that there are good thoughts and actions and bad thoughts and actions. The organizations help us to move away from bad thoughts and actions and in the process make us good. We end up believing that it is a sin to even let certain thoughts enter our heads. We end up controlling our own thoughts and force us to restrict our own freedom.

The winds had pushed him away from the railing. He carefully walked back to the door. He entered the apartment and closed the door. Everything in the room was wet. He looked out and through the wet glass noticed the fallen trees. The winds carried leaves and other debris everywhere. The peace and calmness of the land was lost. The storm continued to rage and it seemed it would never end. The glass on the doors shook vehemently. They seemed to screaming "We can't take this anymore. We will give in for sure. We cannot take care of you any longer". He did not hear the scream. Unlike the storm outside, the storm in his brain had subsided. It had scattered debris across his mind. Old and hidden wounds lay exposed. The storms made his head hurt. He sat on the wet sofa and let the cold and wet seep in through his cold and wet clothes.  He held his aching head in this palms and thought.

When a storm passes through a town it is left in shambles. A brainstorm has a similar effect on our mind.

Missed the bus

His father was surprised to see him stomping back home. He called out to his son "Why have you back?" The boy stared at his father angrily for a moment. He said "Stupid bus! Did not wait for me!" "Were you late?" inquired the father."Yes and the stupid bus did not wait for me." came the annoyed response. The father tried to settle his anger by saying "Hey! Take it easy. You mother will drop." The son's anger did not reduce. He said "Stupid Mom!" The father was perplexed "What! Why do you call her stupid?"

"I will be late to school thanks to her now!"

Toilet haven

The boy's toilet has became a place to get away from classes. The physics teacher felt that the boys requests for toilet breaks are periodic and precise than the emissions of radio waves by distant Pulsars. Maybe some day someone would publish a paper on this possibility. It could result in the most accurate measurement of time. Of course, the boys do not really use these breaks to eject liquid waste from their body. Instead, they spend it on taking the most circuitous route to and from the toilet and to chat with whoever is present in its environs. I think Nature magazine had published in 1992 the results of a study conducted by some prestigious university in the US. According to the study, if water leaves a human body every time the boys request for a toilet break, they would end up looking like a dried raisin within two days. 

The boy's toilet was conveniently located away from the classrooms and provided a safe haven for the children to sit and chat. They sat on the wall outside the toilet and chatted for a few minutes. They had poor impression about their teacher's ability to determine the passage of time. They usually spent more than double the time required to walk from the class to the toilet, process their output and walk back. On getting back their faces donned expression of utmost sincerity as they attempted to convince the teacher that the time they had taken was not a second more than the time required. The teachers usually did not bother to argue and prove that the fellows took more time they required. Calculating time taken for visit to a toilet was never a part of their life's ambitions and their energy to argue on such topics had trained within a year or two of teaching.

That day, the teacher found two ten year old children playing with mud around the toilet area. As he started talking to them a small twelve year old with a big mouth walked by. He threw a "What's up!" to the teacher who looked at him with amusement. He watched the teacher helping the two younger children in cleaning the entrance to the toilet and said with an evil glint in his eyes "I want to show something to you" He finished his job within the toilet, walked out and pointed at a mud ball pasted on the wall above the doorway and said "I don't know who did it!" The teacher looked at him suspiciously. The two young boys said in unison "we know who did it". "Who?" asked the teacher. "We will not say" responded the boys. "Come on!" said the teacher. One of boys decided to give a clue "its someone from class seven." The teacher looked at the older boy suspiciously while persisting with a "Who?" "He" said the two young boys pointing at the older boy who watched the teacher with an evil grin. The teacher "hmmmm"-ed and asked the three of them to get back to the class. 

The elder boy laughed and ran back into the toilet saying "Wait, wait! I have to use the toilet." The teacher felt perplexed and asked "but you just used the toilet". Pat came the reply "I have loose motion." The teacher said with annoyance "Your loose motion is the wrong direction". The boy agreed "Yes! I have loose motion in the front side". The teacher walked away shaking his head.