I am a fly. I am called so due to my ability to fly. There are many other creatures on this planet that can fly. Yet, only members of my species are referred to as fly. I find it humiliating. I know my species have a scientific name associated with it. But scientific names are not really names. They are set of letters that are brought together by the scientists in their attempt to prove to the world that they are scientists. Usually, it is not even pronounceable, and sound like two street dogs growling at each other. So, I am forced to live through the humiliation of being referred to as fly. But this name is better than the name I am given in Tamil. In Tamil, I am called, hold your breath, e. Just e; nothing ahead, nothing after. A lone e standing against the world. You would think "what's wrong with e? It's not bad. It is a vowel." But ground reality is different. For instance, the other day I chanced upon a delicious plate of kesari. I sat on the plate, by the kesari, cleaned my hands by rubbing it against each other and was about to pick up a morsel of the kesari when I heard someone scream "eeeeeeeeeeeeeee". Someone was offended by my presence on their plate. The food looked delicious, and I wanted a small bit of it. But no! The fellow does not want to share it with me. This despite the fact that I cleaned my hands well before I went anywhere close to the food. He does not care. He is offended and mangles my name and makes it eeeeeeeeeeeee from e. Can you see the difference between the two? I cannot describe how humiliated I felt on that day.
Human beings are insensitive. For many centuries flies and humans have coexisted peacefully. There were no problems at all. But now they consider us to be filthy creatures and every one of them is constantly thinking of ways to exterminate us. I have a feeling that, in a few years, we flies would be extinct like out poor cousins, the mammoths. Now you might be confused about the relationship between a mammoth and a fly. A voice in your head must be screaming "But the two of you can't be cousins?" Biologically speaking, we are not cousins. But there is more to life than biology. Screw science, we are talking about emotions here. We are talking about partnership. We are talking about FEELINGS. Humans have lost their ability to understand feelings. Of course, there are exceptions. S S Rajamouli is one such exception.
Rajamouligaru is a legend in the e-world. He made a movie about us. We were the protagonist in that movie. We even figured in the title of the movie, which was Naan Ee. I do realize that there is a problem in the name, he has added an additional e to e. Ideally, the title should have been Naan E but I am willing to accept the additional 'e'. Humans find it difficult to understand that the name of a species can be one letter long. Here too there is an exception, Prince. For some time, he called himself by a symbol. But the humans could not digest this fact and they referred to him as 'artist formerly known as Prince'. Morons!
Getting back to Rajamouligaru. He has gained a lot of respect among flies. He made a fly to star in his movie and the fly was not just a star in the movie, he was an action star. The fly was featured on the poster too. When I see the poster, I get the feeling that the fly looks like me. Maybe it is an ancestor of mine. The sad part is that I have not seen the movie yet. It was released many years before my birth. But I have heard the story from many of the elders in my family many times. In the e-world, Naan Ee is as respected as Mahabaratha is among humans. Mouligaru is our Veda Vyasa. Like Mahabaratha, the movie is considered by many to be devoid of scientific facts. But screw science, we want entertainment. Both Mahabaratha and Naan ee have tonnes of entertainment. Long live Rajamouligaru. As a tribute to this great man, I have watched RRR 100 times.
But other than Rajamouligaru, not many of the human species are friendly to us. They shoo us away when we approach them with a friendly greeting. We cannot sit on them, not on their food, not on their table, not on their work equipment. This list goes on. If humans had a choice, they would eradicate us from the face of the planet like they are doing in the cases of all other species except goats, cows, hens, dogs and cats. Oh! I forget. They love the bees too. Those damned insects have a sting, which they don't hesitate to use. Yet the human rear them, take them in their hands and sometimes kiss them too. The bees too have a movie to their credit and the movie is simply called The Bee Movie. Unlike Naan Ee, The Bee Movie is a Hollywood movie. If we had puked some sweet liquid like the bees, we too would have been loved by the humans. But we are not bees, we are only e's.
During my younger days, I used to think that the humans are playing with us when they were actually trying to swat us. Many flies still think it is some form of dance that the humans liked. So, when the humans wave their hands, we too flew around to the rhythm of their hands. In the process, many flies have lost their lives. I realized it once, when one of the humans went off rhythm and tried to land his palm on me. I was barely able to get off the palm's path. I was shocked and looked up at the human's face expecting an apology. Instead, I saw that it was filled with anger and frustration. I realized immediately that he was not dancing with me but was trying to kill me. I flew away shaken. I spent the rest of that day on the branch of a tree contemplating on the point of my existence. I did not find a satisfactory reason for my existence but decided that I will no longer dance to the human rhythm. I tried to inform my fellow fly brothers about the intent of the humans waving their hands but none of them listened. They continue to dance to the human tunes, and many die under the force of the palm.
The humans have been relentless in their attempt to exterminate us. Their obsession with cleanliness will wipe them of the planet. Just recently, a virus attacked them and nearly wiped them off the planet. The virus did not care about the human obsession for cleanliness and attacked everyone who came in its path. Yet, humans spent many hours cleaning their hands with soaps. Those days were tough for us flies. The smell of the soap was strong, and we found it very difficult go near them. To make matters worse they sprayed chemicals on everything around them. Every time we touched any of those chemical laden surfaces, our feet and hand burned for a long time. Many of my friends and relative started dying due to the rampant use of chemicals. I thought the virus would end up eradicating us e's rather than the humans. Fortunately, the humans lost interest in the virus. As a result, the virus' effect subsided, and humans went back to their old lives. No more washing of hands and no more use of chemicals.
However, the days of peaceful coexistence did not dawn with the end of the virus era. The humans once again got annoyed with our company. They started trying out newer techniques to keep us away. They tried to kill us by placing plates filled with leaves on tables. I am not sure what the thinking behind this idea was, but it did not work. Neither did the leaves look appealing to our eyes nor did they smell good. One day, I decided to check them. They were placed on plates at the centre of a table. I landed on the plate and looked around at the people on the table. No one cared about my presence. I inched up to the leaves, cleaned my hands by rubbing them against each other, pinched a small piece off a leaf and tasted it. It tasted terrible. I don't think I have tasted anything as bad as the leaf. I flew away in terror and disgust. But I felt giddy and could not fly straight. I nearly crashed into my cousin. He buzzed at me in shock "Whoa fly! Look where are going. You nearly squished my eyes." I buzzed back "Sorry! Keep off those leaves man. They are toxic." I got outdoors and let the fresh air remove the toxins from my system. The smell and taste of the leaves stayed with me for some time. I avoided the plate of leaves since.
Like me, all the flies avoided the plates of leaves. The humans got frustrated with their leafy strategy. Soon, the plates of leaves disappeared from the tables. It did not make any difference for us. As I mentioned earlier, we did not go near the plates. So, we continued to hop from table to table, from plate to plate and the human hands continued to wave rhythmically. Life went back to the good old days. Just as I was getting used to normal life, something weird started happening. One day as I tried flying in from outside to inside, I found that I was blocked by a body of water. I could have sworn on my wings that there were no water bodies present at that location the previous day. I wondered how it appeared out of nowhere. I had never experienced anything like this before. I turned around, flew back a little, settled on a wall, shook my head, cleaned me eyes and started back again. Once again, I saw a water body block my path. I hovered a bit around the area, but the reflection of the sunlight from the water body started affecting my sight. I had to move away but this time instead of turning around, I moved to my right. After flying for some distance, I found that the water body had disappeared. I felt relieved. I got into the insides and saw my familiar world once again. I looked around the room and on the opposite side of the room I saw packets of water tied to openings in the room. I realized the reason for my confusion. The humans were up to their usual tricks. I shook my head in anger. I decided it was time to teach these humans a lesson. There was no point in being polite with these creatures. I looked around and found my destination - at the summit of a sambar soaked idli. I directed my flight path towards the idli and made a perfect landing right at its centre. Almost immediately, I heard the familiar refrain "Ayyo! Eeeeeeeeeeee".
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