Minnal Raja

She always gives me a big smile when she sees me and sometimes, an informal salute too. In return, I smile back and wave my hand. Her name reminded me of one of the names of an important character from The Lord of the Rings. Actually, it's exactly one half of that name. Though, in her case, I don't believe that The Lord of the Rings had anything to do with her name. One day, I saw a little girl sitting with a boy I knew. He introduced her as his sister. Almost instantly, I asked the first question that one asks little children "what is your name?". She said the same name. I thought I had misheard the name and asked her again. She repeated the name. I knew, in the case of the girl I talked about earlier, the name ended with two 'a's. So, I asked the little girl "Do you have two 'a's at the end of your name?" She shook her name in disagreement and spelt out her name. I smiled at the girl and her brother as I walked away from them.

Next day, when I met the elder owner of the name, I told her "Hey. You have lost a part of your uniqueness. I met a little girl who owns the same name as you." Her curiosity was piqued. She asked, "Where is she?" I looked around and saw the girl standing by a tree. I pointed at the little girl. She looked at the girl and said, "She looks sweet." I smiled and said, "Unlike your name, she does not have two 'a's at the end of her name." She responded "That's because my father wanted to name me thus, but my mother believed that my name should contains seven letters in it. So, they added an additional 'a' at the end of the name to make it seven lettered". 

The breakfast consisted of an uninspiring upma and a valiant chutney. I dipped the upma in the chutney before shoving it into my mouth. I shared the table with two of my colleagues, who were sitting to my right. In ten minutes, all the upma and chutney has disappeared from the plate. I checked my watch, and found that nine am was ten minutes away. I got up and walked to the tea jar and brought back a cup of tea. As I came back to the table, I saw that I had been sharing the table with two ten year olds too. They sat to my left and I had not noticed them. I looked at their plates and found them filled with food. The breakfast time was coming to an end, but neither of them seemed to be in a hurry to finish their breakfast. One of them was pushing the upma around the plate. He was doing what one of my friends used to call as heapifying the food. I looked at the boys and said "You are running out of time. Your plates are full of food. Why are you not eating?" Almost instantly, they responded with the standard response that anyone below the age of 18 gave when they were faced with a similar question. "No! I am eating." I looked at their plates in disbelief and said "What! Look at your plates." They looked at it and protested "But I was served too much upma." I refused to accept their words and said "It doesn't look like you have eaten anything. Come on! Eat up. We are out of time." The two boys took my advice seriously and got into the business of eating earnestly. One of the boys went about it well but the other kid continued to be obsessed with heaps.  He split his single large heap of upma into many small heaps. I said "My god! You are obsessed with heaps. Your plate looks like a Native American village with many Tee Pees in it." The comment did not amuse him. "I am tired" he complained. "I woke up at six this morning". I did not understand his complaint but before I could clarify he said, "usually I get up at six thirty".  Once again, I could not respond as the other boy swerved the conversation towards himself by saying "I wake up at five every morning. I do Yoga and exercise in the morning". I could barely get out an "oh" from my mouth as the boy's head was churning out words at 120 Hertz. He continued "in the evenings I go for horse riding. Sometimes I ride the horses in the beach and at the other times in the racecourse." 

The two of them became quiet for a moment. It had been many years since I was in a position wherein, I had to listen for long without speaking. So, I uttered the first thought that came into my mind "did you ride a brown horse with a white mark on its forehead?" The boy responded without giving any thought to the question "No. There is no such horse." The next thought that came to my head was "were the horses owned by you?" He gave me a don't be ridiculous look and said, "No". Next question: "do you ride the same horse every evening?" 

"No, different horses." 

"How many horses are there?"

"Eh! There's Malik, Bilal, Khalid and a she horse called Lalila. There is also a small horse called Minnal Raja. So, five horses."

"Minnal Raja is an interesting name. What are the colour of the horse?"

"Different colours. Brown, black, white."

By this time, the heaps on the other boy's plate had disappeared. He was feeling left out and decided to contribute "I too go for horse riding but only during vacations and holidays. I ride a horse called Blackie." By this time, my interest in horses had waned and I asked redundantly "Oh! You ride during the weekends, is it?" He said "Yes. And during holidays." I smiled at the two boys and said, "Alright, it's time to go."

A boy walked up to me as I walked out of the dining hall and said "I did not study everything you asked me to study yesterday. But I started studying and I will study it all ultimately." Almost immediately, my mind traveled back to my college days. One of my classmates was a member of the college badminton team. He played matches frequently and could not attend classes on many days. He was allowed to skip writing many tests. But he had to attend all the semester exams. This was an unpleasant experience for him. He did not understand most of the topics and he was not interested in the subjects either. As a result, his preparations for the exams started late. On the evening before the exam, I usually got a call from him. He started the conversation with "Machan, I want some advice da. Tell me da. What are important chapters that I have to study for tomorrow's exam?" Every time I heard this question, a chill ran up my spine for two reasons. First, how can anyone ask this question fourteen hours prior to the start of the exam? Two, what does he mean when he uses the word 'important'? Everything is important. But I did not let panic get the better of me. I responded patiently by reeling off the names of all the chapters in the subject. As soon as I stopped talking, he said "See Machan. I have been studying since lunch and I have completed two chapters. In the remaining time, I can only study three more chapters. So, I plan to study this, that and the other chapters. Is that okay? Is that enough?" A voice in my head screamed "No! It is not okay. What the hell do you mean 'is it okay?' That's only 25% of the portions. How can that be okay? And stop calling me Machan!" But I ignored the voice and said, "It should be okay da." Almost immediately, he responded "Thanks da Machan. You are my saviour da Machan. How is your studies going on?"  I responded "It's going okay. I am starting my final revision." He ended the call by saying "That's good da Machan. Study hard da. Don't waste time. All the best da Machan". (The last Machan was auto filled by Google's AI algorithm. The bloody thing is learning fast.) This conversation happened almost three or four times each semester. When I look back, I realize that all my studying did not make much difference. Though he studied for a much lesser time than me, he did not have any issue in getting through the course. Exams and studying are overrated.

That afternoon, they served Chinese food, I think. The rice seemed like fried rice. So, the Cauliflower pakoda like dish should have been Gobi Manchurian. I walked up to the counter and tried to pick a small bowl filled with the dish but person at the counter said "Ah Ah Ah! Go get the plate please. You can't take it without a fresh plate." I donned my begging expression and asked "can't I take one?" She said "No. Go get the plate." I got a plate from my table and picked a bowl full of Gobi Manchurian/Pakoda from the counter. As I was biting into the delicious cauliflowers, I heard the girl sitting on the opposite side of the table say, "I am taking one more". She got up and went to the counter. Soon, she came back with disappointment written all over her face.  She said "Sad! Only one cup per person."  Two young kids sitting in the next table got a brilliant idea. They decided to use fresh plates every time they went to the counter. This way they could cheat the person at the counter into giving them many bowls of the dish. Others on the table threatened them with dire consequences if they tried implementing their idea. They too sat back disappointed. I bit into another piece of the Gobi Manchurian/Pakoda. I said "The cauliflower is delicious". The girl studied the piece that she held between her fingers and said "Hmmmm! Yes! The flour is delicious. Very crisp". I corrected her "The flower, cauliflower is delicious. Though the flour is delicious too."

U

The Vowel Series - 'U'

Undergraduate in an underground college
Underdog uncle is an umpire
Unable to play or even understand the game of cricket
Undertakes to undo the rules of the game
Urges the underutilised fast bowler to
Underarm the ultimate ball
Underneath the Union's batsman
Unlike the uncle, the fast bowler was
Upset by the ugly suggestion given
Unleashes an unusual full toss at the batsman
Up, up and away goes the ball
Upstairs it hits; right under the commentary box
Unlikely the ball's retrieval seemed until
Utilising a long pole, the undertaker gets it
Unusual scenes of utter happiness
Upon the faces of the Union players
Unless the fast bowler came up with something unique
Useless it seemed for the University's team to try and win
Unfortunately for the umpire uncle 
Unemployed once again in this universe
Unique is his absolute unluck
Under the blue umbrella he sits crying
Uncontrollably 

A

The Vowel Series - 'A'

The four boys had only joined the prestigious school that year. They came from different schools none of which were considered prestigious by anyone. By some quirk of fate, they found themselves seated near each other in the class. As a result, friendship formed between them quickly. They did not like the other students in the class and thus spent most of their time in the school together. In the evening, when the final bell rang, they were the first ones to get out of the school gate. They speed walked to the bus stop, which was about a kilometre away. One of them was really good at speed walking and the others had to run to keep pace with him. Each stayed in different parts of the city and so they went their separate ways at the bus stop.

That day, one of them did not come to the school. When the three of them reached near the bus stop, one of them mentioned "Did you see the poster of the movie running at Saffire?" The others said "no" in unison. "You guys should see it. Come!" said the boy. At the main road, they turned left instead of right and walked a few steps. The boy stopped and pointed at the large poster kept outside the theatre and said "Look". The three of them stood and stared at the poster. They remained transfixed at that position for some time. Soon, the boy tapped the other two and said "Guys, stop gaping like that. Everyone's looking at us. Come on! Let us go." They turned around quickly and walked towards the bus stop. The first boy asked, "So what do you think?" Words of praise flowed from the other two. At the end of the shower of praise one of them mentioned vehemently "We should watch the movie!" The first boy said "For sure! Tomorrow?" The second one agreed "Yes! Tomorrow!" The third boy warned them "But it is an 'A' movie". The other two laughed "'A' movie! Are you a 10 year old?" "Come on man! We are 15. We are grown ups now." The third boy continued with his protest "We are only 15. You should be 18 to watch 'A' movies". The other two laughed again and said "You are baby! Now don't go and ask for permission from your parents." "We are going to the movie tomorrow. Are you coming or not?" The boy thought for a few seconds. He listened intently to the debate between the devil and the angel taking place within him. Unfortunately, the devil won, and he said "No! I will not come. You guys go ahead. My bus is here. I am going. Bye". The other two laughed as they watched their friend climb into the bus and leave. The first one said, "He is still a baby." The second one agreed. They parted after promising to meet in front of the theatre at 5 pm the next day.

Next day at 5 pm, the two boys stood in front of the theatre, looking at the poster. One of them asked "Will they let us in?" "Of course, they will. Look at all the kids around us. They are all of our age." said the other confidently. The two of them looked around and smiled at each other. They walked towards the ticket counter. The taller of the two walked up to counter and said, "Two balcony tickets". The person at the ticket counter did not look at him. He tore two tickets and handed it over to him after taking the money from him. The boy took the two tickets and showed it to his friend, who looked at them happily. "We have one hour to kill. What do we do?" "Let us go outside." The two of them walked through the gates of the theatre and stood on the pavement besides the gate. They watched the flow of traffic on the road. Suddenly, the taller kid gripped his friend's hand and said "Principal". The friend looked around frantically and said "Where?" The taller boy pointed to his left and said "There!" "Oh God!" said the other boy. They stood transfixed in their positions staring at the principal. For the two of them the principal seemed like a mutant progeny of Godzilla and King Kong. Stories of him beating up students across the years had become like folklore for all the students in the school. Every child in the school had either been beaten up by the principal or had seen someone getting beaten up. If he found that the two of them were students at his school and were there to watch the movie, he would probably skin the two of them alive right there. They prayed desperately for the principal to pass by without identifying them. 

The principal saw them and said "Hey! I know the two of you. You are the new students who joined the school this year right?" The two of them nodded their heads vertically and horizontally to say yes and no simultaneously. The principal continued "What are you doing here?" The shorter boy responded promptly "Waiting for the bus sir". The taller boy agreed instantly "Yes sir. Thus bus". The principal looked around and said "Bus? Here? But this is not the bus stop". As he looked around, his eyes fell on the poster and the expression on his face changed. He asked menacingly "Are you two here to watch this movie?" The shorter one responded immediately "Movie? What movie sir?" The taller one repeated "Move! What move sir?" The principal did not believe them. The anger in his voice grew as he pointed at the large poster in front of the theater and said "Don't lie. Are you not here to watch that movie?" The boys turned around slowly and looked at the poster. The shorter one turned around quickly and said "Oh no sir! That is an 'A' movie sir. We are waiting here for the bus. We want to go to Higginbothams sir". The taller one repeated "Yes sir! Hissinbossoms sir." The principal did not believe them still. He said "I don't believe you. I want to see what you have in your pockets. Empty your pockets now." The two boys did not move. The taller boy considered fainting but the terror he felt made it difficult for him to faint. The shorter boy started emptying his pockets with trembling hands. He took out fifteen rupees and twenty five paise from his shirt pocket and a handkerchief from his pant pocket. The principal demanded "Pull out all your pant pockets". The boy pulled them all out. They were all empty. The principal looked at the taller boy and said, "Your turn now". The boy took out twelve rupees and sixty paise and a bus ticket from his shirt pocket. His pant pockets did not contain anything. The principal looked down at the boys' hands and inspected their contents. The two boys looked at each other incredulously. The same question ran through their heads "Where are the tickets?" 

The principal looked at them and smiled. He said "It is not safe for children to stand in such a place. Come on. I will take you to the bus stop." The two protested "It is okay sir. We will manage sir." The principal commanded them to follow him and started walking. The two boys ran behind him as the principal's speed walking was even better than their friend's. On reaching the stop, he said "You should get into 27A." The two boys said in unison "Ok sir. Thank you, sir." They expected the principal to leave but he continued to wait. After a few minutes, 27 A arrived. The principal pushed the two children into the bus and told the conductor "Two Higginbothams for the boys". The conductor handed them the tickets to the boys, and they paid to the conductor. They looked at the principal, who waved to them with a smile on his face. The two of them forced a smile and waved back. 

As the bus moved away from the stop, they asked to each other simultaneously "what happened to the tickets?" The taller one responded, "you had the tickets". The shorter one protested "No! You bought the tickets". 

"Yes! But then you took it from me."

"Nonsense! You never... Oh yes! I remember now. You did give me the ticket."

"Yes. So, what happened to the tickets?"

The shorter boy searched through his pockets again but did not find the tickets. "I must have dropped it when I tried to put them in my pocket".

"Hmmm! That must be the case. Let us go back to the theatre. We might find the tickets if we search for them."

"Yeah right! Stop talking nonsense man. We will not find the tickets but only princi waiting for us there with a whip in his hand. I don't think he believed us fully."

"That's true! I did not consider that."

They remained quiet for a few minutes. When the bus neared the next stop, the shorter one went towards the door. The taller one asked "Are we getting down?"

"Of course, we are."

"Are we not going to Higginbothams?"

"What's wrong with you? Why would we go to Higginbothams?"

The taller boy struck his head with his palm and said "Oh right! Why would we go to Higginbothams! Let's go home."

O

Many ideas and thoughts have been running through my head for the past few days. I am going through a phase that can be considered to be the antonym of a 'writer's block'. One night, I woke up at 2:45 am. My brain started playingback the events of the previous day. As the time passed it started fixing its attention on the letter I. As the playback came to an end, I thought "In today's world, I seems to have become more important than anything else". I tried to get back to sleep but my brain had decided that it did not want to sleep anymore. Finally, at 3:45 am I got up and wrote a poem that I named 'I'. Couple of days later there was an incident related to flies in my workplace. I decided to write about it. Flies are referred to as Ee in Tamil and so I named the write-up 'E'. As I clicked the publish button, I realized that if I posted three more entries and named them 'A', 'U' and 'O', I would have covered all the vowels. I thought for sometime and got a vague idea for A. It is based on a small incident from many years ago. I am not sure if I am really interested in writing about it but if I don't get any other idea, I would have no choice but to develop it. I did not get any idea for 'U' and 'O' though. 

Two days later, another incident occured that gave me the idea for 'O'. As I was sitting down to write the 'o'rticle, I remembered that I had a couple of incomplete pieces written many months ago about the main character in this incident. I went through the drafts section of this blog and found them. I no longer remember the details of the incidents and so I could not complete them. I reproduce those incomplete articles here prior to describing the events related to 'O'.

Incident 1 (Jan2021)

The sweet and milky tea tasted sweet and milky. I have always wondered why this concoction was called tea. During the initial years, I let the liquid flow to various corners of my mouth and attempted to identify the flavour of the tea in it. It tasted like milk, it tasted like sugar, it tasted like payasam and at times, it tasted like kashayam but it never tasted like tea. Like Buddha, realization struck me under a tree. I was sitting under the mango tree and sipping the liquid that all of us referred to as 'tea' when I heard Mr. Tweedy's voice uttering "it's all in me head". I jumped up and shouted "Of course! There it is!" Finally, I found the flavour of tea in the liquid. Like many other discoveries, this one too had its own minor tragedy - my new white shirt had a brown patch that looked like the map of Asia without half of China and India.

On that day too, I was relishing the flavour of tea when the conversation on the table turned towards politics. Politics did not interest me, but I listened to the conversation anyway. The supporters of the party ruling our country were gushing about the achievements of our prime minister. From time to time, they looked at me for support. I did not say anything but smiled and nodded my head. In a few minutes, their conversation turned towards the chief ministers of a few states who voiced their opinions against the prime minister and his party. The happy expressions on their faces were replaced with anger and agony. As in the earlier case, they looked towards me for support. Once again, I preferred to remain quiet while smiling and nodding my head. Apparently, this time they did not appreciate my expression as an expression of solidarity. They stared at me for a few seconds and started ignoring me. The poor fellows did not realize that I was only enjoying my tea and neither agreed nor disagreed with them. 

I got up and went back to the counter to pick another cup of tea. When I came back to the table, I found that my seat was taken by a person whose opinions on the prime minister and the ruling party did not match with that of the other two occupants. The table did not have an additional chair and so I had to move on. I felt cheated like Arnab Goswami would have felt if he woke up on the morning of 'The Big Debate' day with a cough and sore throat.  

Incident 2 (May 2021)

The table was occupied by two people with whom I only conversed a little. I did not hesitate to place myself in one of the empty chairs besides them though. The two of them were engrossed in their conversation and did not bother to welcome me. I did not like to disturb them with a "hi" or "hello". I stirred the milky tea till I believed the heap of jaggery powder in the cup was completely and thoroughly mixed. I listened to the conversation on the table. It was on politics. I am not sure if anyone has bothered to study it, but if statistics are taken on the topic of discussion on a table consisting of more than two men aged above 40 years, there is a 80% chance of the topic of discussion being politics. A few years back I would have cursed myself for being a part of this table but no longer. Since 2013 discussions on politics tend to be more thrilling than a James Bond movie. 

Let me spend a few lines explaining the previous sentence. Many human beings believe that they are unique. This is true when one looks at an individual as a whole but when we start dissecting the individual based on his or her thoughts and beliefs one finds that the individual can be comfortably placed in one category or the other. For example, when one considers human being within the purview of religion, they can be placed in one of the following categories.

1. My god exists
2. Sometimes, my god exists
3. All gods exist
4. God? What god?

Human beings can be diced and sliced to many such categories. With time, some of these categories become irrelevant. For example, the categorization based on horse riding or sword fighting or use of pagers have become irrelevant. On the other hand, newer categories are constantly created. For example, twelve or thirteen years ago, categories appeared based on people's preference for mobile phones. At that time, based on this criteria, the following three categories of humans existed.

1. Nokia allade vera onnineyum Nokkarude or Nokia users.
2. Blackberry is berry berry good or Blackberry users.
3. The smartphone is smart enough for me or smartphone users.

Today, the categories have changed. The whole Nokia and Blackberry categories have reduced to such levels that dictionaries are considering adding the word 'micrority', which mean much lesser than minority. As of 2021, the following categories of mobile phone users exist on the planet.

1. 'i' am beautiful or iPhone users
2. An 'i' for an 'i' makes the world phone-y or Android user.

So the categorization of humans is dynamic. 

In 2014, a new set of categories emerged among Indians. At that time, the categories and their definitions were not clear but by 2019, the categories became clear.

1. Intellectuals - "Don't Modi-fy India"
2. Patriots - "Let us Modi-fy India"

Of course, there exists a 'micrority' of Indians who are neither patriots nor intellectuals but their existence is usually not taken into consideration. 

One of the fellow occupants of the table belonged to the second category, patriots. The other, being a Bengali, hated Mamta Banerjee, which automatically meant, he was a patriot. The patriot spoke vehemently on the strong possibility of the BJP winning the elections in Bengal and the Mamata hater spoke vehemently on the possibility of Mamta losing the same elections in Bengal. While the former talked about the positives of BJP, the latter spoke about Mamta's negatives. It was interesting to see how both were talking about the same consequence, but they were taking different routes to get there.

It was ironic that despite the display of confidence from both sides, Mamta won the elections comfortably.

The Vowel Series - 'O'

He seemed livid as he stormed out of the meeting room. He blocked my path and shouted menacingly "They made us work on the day of our important festival and now, they are declaring a holiday for this unimportant festival". I tried to calm him down by explaining "there was a government order for this festival and the management had no choice but to declare a holiday". He was not in a mood to listen and continued to shout "There was a government order for that day too. I was published in all the newspaper". I continued patiently "In this case, the order was sent directly to the head of the organization". He did not pay heed to my words "It was in the newspaper. All the papers had it and still it was not a holiday for us". I was losing my patience. I knew him well and was not really interested in continuing the conversation. I decided to give one final shot at making him understand. I said firmly "this one too was in the newspaper but in this case, the order was directly sent to the organization. That did not happen earlier." He did not pay heed to my words still but the annoyance in my voice reached him. He murmured something under his breath and walked away.

The next afternoon, a few of us were sitting in our workspaces and were involved in a post lunch conversation. A colleague was describing his plans for the Onam day "All at home have plans for Onam and since our holiday was only declared yesterday, I get to spend a peaceful day alone at home". Before I could respond, the one who was appalled by the declaration of holiday for Onam, the previous day barged into our midst shouting "They won't give a holiday to celebrate the birthday of our beloved god, but they are declaring holiday for the remembrance of an evil daitya." I was annoyed at this rude interference but thought it best to be silent. My colleague protested "He was not evil. He was considered a good king". He responded indignantly "No way. His sins were washed away only when he was sent to the other world. He was evil and selfish." The colleague persisted "But wasn't he considered to be benevolent and kind". "Nonsense" came the response. "He was only kind during the yagna. He wanted wrest control from Indira and that was the only reason for his kindness. The gods came together to stop that evil daitya to take control over swargam. He had to be stopped and that is why Mahavishnu descended to the earth. He was a daitya afterall." Though I had heard the word daitya I did not know its meaning. I asked him the meaning of the word and he said "Daityas are lazy fellows. They are evil. They are not like Asuras who are also considered to be Brahmins." By this time, his mobile phone rang, and he left from our midst. We felt relief flowing through us. We looked at each other and smiled.

E

The Vowel Series - 'E'

I am a fly. I am called so due to my ability to fly. There are many other creatures on this planet that can fly. Yet, only members of my species are referred to as fly. I find it humiliating. I know my species have a scientific name associated with it. But scientific names are not really names. They are set of letters that are brought together by the scientists in their attempt to prove to the world that they are scientists. Usually, it is not even pronounceable, and sound like two street dogs growling at each other. So, I am forced to live through the humiliation of being referred to as fly. But this name is better than the name I am given in Tamil. In Tamil, I am called, hold your breath, e. Just e; nothing ahead, nothing after. A lone e standing against the world. You would think "what's wrong with e? It's not bad. It is a vowel." But ground reality is different. For instance, the other day I chanced upon a delicious plate of kesari. I sat on the plate, by the kesari, cleaned my hands by rubbing it against each other and was about to pick up a morsel of the kesari when I heard someone scream "eeeeeeeeeeeeeee". Someone was offended by my presence on their plate. The food looked delicious, and I wanted a small bit of it. But no! The fellow does not want to share it with me. This despite the fact that I cleaned my hands well before I went anywhere close to the food. He does not care. He is offended and mangles my name and makes it eeeeeeeeeeeee from e. Can you see the difference between the two? I cannot describe how humiliated I felt on that day. 

Human beings are insensitive. For many centuries flies and humans have coexisted peacefully. There were no problems at all. But now they consider us to be filthy creatures and every one of them is constantly thinking of ways to exterminate us. I have a feeling that, in a few years, we flies would be extinct like out poor cousins, the mammoths. Now you might be confused about the relationship between a mammoth and a fly. A voice in your head must be screaming "But the two of you can't be cousins?" Biologically speaking, we are not cousins. But there is more to life than biology. Screw science, we are talking about emotions here. We are talking about partnership. We are talking about FEELINGS. Humans have lost their ability to understand feelings. Of course, there are exceptions. S S Rajamouli is one such exception.

Rajamouligaru is a legend in the e-world. He made a movie about us. We were the protagonist in that movie. We even figured in the title of the movie, which was Naan Ee. I do realize that there is a problem in the name, he has added an additional e to e. Ideally, the title should have been Naan E but I am willing to accept the additional 'e'. Humans find it difficult to understand that the name of a species can be one letter long. Here too there is an exception, Prince. For some time, he called himself by a symbol. But the humans could not digest this fact and they referred to him as 'artist formerly known as Prince'. Morons! 

Getting back to Rajamouligaru. He has gained a lot of respect among flies. He made a fly to star in his movie and the fly was not just a star in the movie, he was an action star. The fly was featured on the poster too. When I see the poster, I get the feeling that the fly looks like me. Maybe it is an ancestor of mine. The sad part is that I have not seen the movie yet. It was released many years before my birth. But I have heard the story from many of the elders in my family many times. In the e-world, Naan Ee is as respected as Mahabaratha is among humans. Mouligaru is our Veda Vyasa. Like Mahabaratha, the movie is considered by many to be devoid of scientific facts. But screw science, we want entertainment. Both Mahabaratha and Naan ee have tonnes of entertainment. Long live Rajamouligaru. As a tribute to this great man, I have watched RRR 100 times.

But other than Rajamouligaru, not many of the human species are friendly to us. They shoo us away when we approach them with a friendly greeting. We cannot sit on them, not on their food, not on their table, not on their work equipment. This list goes on. If humans had a choice, they would eradicate us from the face of the planet like they are doing in the cases of all other species except goats, cows, hens, dogs and cats. Oh! I forget. They love the bees too. Those damned insects have a sting, which they don't hesitate to use. Yet the human rear them, take them in their hands and sometimes kiss them too. The bees too have a movie to their credit and the movie is simply called The Bee Movie. Unlike Naan Ee, The Bee Movie is a Hollywood movie. If we had puked some sweet liquid like the bees, we too would have been loved by the humans. But we are not bees, we are only e's. 

During my younger days, I used to think that the humans are playing with us when they were actually trying to swat us. Many flies still think it is some form of dance that the humans liked. So, when the humans wave their hands, we too flew around to the rhythm of their hands. In the process, many flies have lost their lives. I realized it once, when one of the humans went off rhythm and tried to land his palm on me. I was barely able to get off the palm's path. I was shocked and looked up at the human's face expecting an apology. Instead, I saw that it was filled with anger and frustration. I realized immediately that he was not dancing with me but was trying to kill me. I flew away shaken. I spent the rest of that day on the branch of a tree contemplating on the point of my existence. I did not find a satisfactory reason for my existence but decided that I will no longer dance to the human rhythm. I tried to inform my fellow fly brothers about the intent of the humans waving their hands but none of them listened. They continue to dance to the human tunes, and many die under the force of the palm.

The humans have been relentless in their attempt to exterminate us. Their obsession with cleanliness will wipe them of the planet. Just recently, a virus attacked them and nearly wiped them off the planet. The virus did not care about the human obsession for cleanliness and attacked everyone who came in its path. Yet, humans spent many hours cleaning their hands with soaps. Those days were tough for us flies. The smell of the soap was strong, and we found it very difficult go near them. To make matters worse they sprayed chemicals on everything around them. Every time we touched any of those chemical laden surfaces, our feet and hand burned for a long time. Many of my friends and relative started dying due to the rampant use of chemicals. I thought the virus would end up eradicating us e's rather than the humans. Fortunately, the humans lost interest in the virus. As a result, the virus' effect subsided, and humans went back to their old lives. No more washing of hands and no more use of chemicals.

However, the days of peaceful coexistence did not dawn with the end of the virus era. The humans once again got annoyed with our company. They started trying out newer techniques to keep us away. They tried to kill us by placing plates filled with leaves on tables. I am not sure what the thinking behind this idea was, but it did not work. Neither did the leaves look appealing to our eyes nor did they smell good. One day, I decided to check them. They were placed on plates at the centre of a table. I landed on the plate and looked around at the people on the table. No one cared about my presence. I inched up to the leaves, cleaned my hands by rubbing them against each other, pinched a small piece off a leaf and tasted it. It tasted terrible. I don't think I have tasted anything as bad as the leaf. I flew away in terror and disgust. But I felt giddy and could not fly straight. I nearly crashed into my cousin. He buzzed at me in shock "Whoa fly! Look where are going. You nearly squished my eyes." I buzzed back "Sorry! Keep off those leaves man. They are toxic." I got outdoors and let the fresh air remove the toxins from my system. The smell and taste of the leaves stayed with me for some time. I avoided the plate of leaves since.

Like me, all the flies avoided the plates of leaves. The humans got frustrated with their leafy strategy. Soon, the plates of leaves disappeared from the tables. It did not make any difference for us. As I mentioned earlier, we did not go near the plates. So, we continued to hop from table to table, from plate to plate and the human hands continued to wave rhythmically. Life went back to the good old days. Just as I was getting used to normal life, something weird started happening. One day as I tried flying in from outside to inside, I found that I was blocked by a body of water. I could have sworn on my wings that there were no water bodies present at that location the previous day. I wondered how it appeared out of nowhere. I had never experienced anything like this before. I turned around, flew back a little, settled on a wall, shook my head, cleaned me eyes and started back again. Once again, I saw a water body block my path. I hovered a bit around the area, but the reflection of the sunlight from the water body started affecting my sight. I had to move away but this time instead of turning around, I moved to my right. After flying for some distance, I found that the water body had disappeared. I felt relieved. I got into the insides and saw my familiar world once again. I looked around the room and on the opposite side of the room I saw packets of water tied to openings in the room. I realized the reason for my confusion. The humans were up to their usual tricks. I shook my head in anger. I decided it was time to teach these humans a lesson. There was no point in being polite with these creatures. I looked around and found my destination - at the summit of a sambar soaked idli. I directed my flight path towards the idli and made a perfect landing right at its centre. Almost immediately, I heard the familiar refrain "Ayyo! Eeeeeeeeeeee".

This is not the end

The war has just begun

We will not rest

Till we sit on all your food

If you scream eeeee at us

We will swim in your tea

Since you threaten our existence

We will work against yours

By washing our hands and legs in filth

Before settling down on your food

ee aa ee aa oo

I

The Vowel Series - 'I'

I look at the mirror

I see a beautiful I 

I love what I see 

I love me

I know I am better than the other I's

In the morning I look to the east and

I see the sun rise for me

I get tired by evening and

I see the sun set for me

I wish for utter darkness and

I find the moon hiding its face

I wish for light during some nights and

I find the moon acceding to my wish

I walk into a room filled with people and

I can feel everyone's eyes set on me

I understand their need to hear my view

I have a refined sense of understanding 

I am forced to be the light in their lives

I am important in everybody's lives

I understand the emptiness in their lives without me

I look into the mirror and

I say "mirror mirror on the wall

I know I am the best I of all

I see that you smile in agreement"

Now,

I will tell you something interesting

I am sure you have never heard this before

All numbers and all alphabets come from I

Not all, but all the good ones.

You don't agree, you have doubts?

Let me prove!

A is two I's butting their heads

B is a buxom I

C, what do see with? With two I's, of course

D is an I with a large paunch

E is a dancing I 

F is dancing with E

G is C with an I

H is a sleeping I

I am I

J is an I kicking a basin

K is an I practicing karate

L is a sitting I

M represents conjoined quadruplet I's

N, conjoined triplets

O is a loser, who cares about O

P is an I drinking water from a cup

Q is O's cousin, another loser

R is an I drinking water from a cup with one leg sticking out

S  is for Satan, I refuse to talk about evil here

T is a top heavy I, building strong but basement weak

U, two I's balancing at the ends of a vessel

V, conjoined twins

W, conjoined quadruplet I's standing on their heads

X represents two I's at a crossroad

Y is a mother I with her two baby I's

Z is two I's sleeping on a bunker bed

I am tired but for your sake

I continue

1 is the numerical equivalent of I

2 is a peeing I

3, is like S, one half of Satan's number

4 is a nationalist, I fluttering the national flag

5 is an I playing the ghatam

6, the sporty I is kicking a football 

7, an I dancing like MJ in smooth criminal

8, conjoined 3's, more evil than evil

9, another sporty I, heading a football

0 means nothing to I

Now you know

I am everywhere

I am omnIpresent

I know everything

I make your lives better

I am here to guide you

I am perfect

I can't say no more

Gossip

He heard the phone ring
Saw the name on the display
A smile adorned his lips
He picked the call and said "Ennada!"
"Dei! Let's go for a tea!" said a voice
And he thought "let's go sip gossip sip by sip"

He went down the stairs and walked to the stall
At the entrance, he waited for his friend 
Who arrived on his bullet
They waved at each other 
As they entered the stall, he asked for two teas
They settled down to sip gossip sip by sip

As he sat down, he saw four flies
Having a conference on the black top of the table
He swatted away the flies but, in the process, blew away
The thick layer of dust that had settled on the table
He looked towards the master, impatiently
For he was eager to sip gossip sip by sip

A boy brought the glasses filled with the tea
And banged them on top of the table
The light brown liquid inside the glasses swirled
And tried unsuccessfully to get out their glassy prisons
They let the desperate liquid to settle down
Before picking up the glasses to sip gossip sip by sip

They sipped the tea from their respective glasses
And let the liquid flow down their oesophagus
The taste of the ginger laden sweet tea
Lingered in their tongues for eternity
"Creamy Hot Is the Tea, Romba Amazing!"
Said one of them as they continued to sip gossip sip by sip

The friend started off, by talking about his boss
Who wanted him to work, day and night
When he reminded the boss about work life balance
He laughed for long and responded
"Work-life imbalance leads to a good life"
They tch-tch-ed gravely as they sipped gossip sip by sip

Like his friend, he too had a gripe about his boss
"He likes to take all the credit for other's work
And throws a 'the boss is happy with your work' at us
Like the leftover bones thrown 
By someone to his or her dogs"
They saw the graveness of the world as the sips of gossip were sipped sip by sip

In this manner, flowed their talks
Discussing about their workplaces 
At times, they strayed towards old memories
When they struggled together
At their beloved workplace
The sips of gossip continued sip by sip

A thought struck him, out of the blue
"Is it possible that people in our team too
Think and talk about us, thus?"
The friend nodded his head and said gravely
"They do. I know. I have heard."
The sips of gossip turned bitter as one sip led to another

"I have been harsh on my teammates too
For the pressure of the project is such
That they are unable differentiate 
A Sunday from Wednesday"
The cup of tea no longer tasted sweet
For the sips of gossip turned bitter, sip by sip

Gossips are sips of events
Taking place in all our lives
It is not discussed with all
For only our friends can understand
How we feel about it
So go ahead and sip gossip sip by sip with your friends

Mr. Fifty Seven

Mr. Fifty Seven waiting by the side
Watching with a keen eye
At speakers as they speak
On topics of varying importance
His ears picking every word
And sending them to his brain
Which signals his head to nod in agreement

The tones of passion surrounding him
Elicit no reaction
His existence being forgotten by all till the fifty eighth minute
When out of nowhere, much to the shock of all
His hand goes up in air
Seeing which, the persons preparing to leave
Have their backsides frozen in midair
But oblivious of the state of the world that surrounds him
He continues to hold his hand up
Seeking permission to speak

On receiving an impatient "go ahead" from the chair
Mr. Fifty Seven starts rambling
About thoughts that possess him
Words turn into sentence and sentences to paragraphs
Continuing in this manner till a point
Where the people started believing that this will never end
But once again he surprises everyone
By saying, "that's all I have"
The end of the meeting was already delayed
By more than ten minutes
But before the impatient ones could budge
A voice responded to Mr. Fifty Seven's thoughts
Thus proceeded the meeting of the day
No different from the earlier ones.

The only wish that many posses
Is to see someone educating Mr. Fifty Seven 
On the existence of fifty seven minutes
Before the fifty eighth minute.