"Dumb, dumb, dumb, another one bites the dust", sang Freddie Mercury into my ears as the train arrived at the station. As it halted, I realized that I was not standing at the right spot and walked back towards my compartment. When I reached my coupe, I saw that the remaining three seats were occupied by two women and a child. The girl was lying down on the berth assigned to me. Her mother asked her to move to her own berth, which created some confusion in her. I smiled at the mother and daughter and said "It's ok, I will take the other berth" and placed my bag on the other berth. Then, I did what I usually do when I board a train - sat on my seat, put on my headphones and ignored the world. Usually, I put on some music and run through the social media but for the past few months I have been stricken by an ailment. It has changed my behaviour. Instead of listening to some brilliant metal music, I watch K-drama these days.
Being more rational than religious, God remains in peripheries of my life. But my new found obsession of K-drama has convinced me of the existence of God, not the kind, benevolent type but the type that hides cloths of bathing women in the trees and laughs at their plight. My affection for K-drama can only be the assigned to such a god's mischievous act.
For many years, I felt contempt towards anyone listening or watching anything K - K-pop, K-drama, K-ellogs, ... Two years back I saw a K-drama called Mr. Queen. I was blown by it. It was funnier than anything I had watched till then (and since too). The heroine of the series was really good. Though I did not understand Korean I felt I understood every word she uttered. I really wanted to see other series that featured her. A few months back I implemented that want. Since then I have watched nearly 10 K- dramas and much to my disgust I enjoyed watching each one of them. That said, everything about K-dramas is not good. They tend to be cliched and manipulative. As a result, I believe I will stop watching them in the near future but I can't say for sure.
Before getting back to the train, I feel the irrestible urge to talk about a couple of cliches that I have observed in some of the K-dramas I have watched. Coincidentally, the same heroine figures in all these dramas.
1. The main characters in the K-drama, who are complete strangers, feel a strong dislike and then strong liking towards each other. By the end of the series, they realise that they knew each other when they were small and right from that age they were destined to be with each other. As I said earlier, the same heroine figures in all these series. She seems to be the queen of the long lost love series.
2. In one of the series, the process of falling in love involved the heroine tripping on something or other and falling into the hero's arms. For the next few seconds, the two characters stared into each other's eyes. In those few seconds everything from love to lust to Limca flowed between their respective eyes. I remember, one time, I shouted out in agony "No, please be careful! Don't trip. You will once again fall into his arms. Stop being ridiculuous". Obviously, she did not hear any of my words of agony. She tripped, fell into his arms and spent a few second looking into his eyes before realizing "What are we doing" and moved away from him. Incredibly, after realizing that the two of them were always in love with each other, she stops tripping. Kinda suspicious, won't you agree?
The other annoying aspect are the product placements, from Kopico to Papa John's everything figures in the series. In one series, the mothers of the two lead characters work at Papa John's and eating pizza becomes a major part of every episode. This unfortunately resulted in me attempting to order Domino's pizza one night but they insulted me by informing me that I stayed too far away from civilization and so the pizza cannot be delivered to my tree. Feeling frustrated, I shouted "hoo, hooo, hooo, heee, heee, heee" and went back to watching K-drama. The last two parts of any K-drama are boring as hell and the only way to survive these episodes is by forwarding many parts. But those are not the only parts that require forwarding, there are the frequent flashbacks. If the series makers were not obsessed with 16 or 20 one hour episodes, these would have been incredible watches. These criticisms notwithstanding K=dramas are not banal. They are great tools available for people to escape from the drudgery of life.
Damn! How did I become such a K-reature! Will I ever become a human again!
Getting back to the train, I put on my headphones and started watching one of the K dramas I was watching (I always watch two at a time, when one gets boring, I move to the other and vice versa). These were the last few episodes of the series and I felt a desperate desire to get it over with. So, I watched them with interest and forwarded parts which were not interesting. Suddenly, I felt that the mother and daughter were trying to communicate with me. I looked up and saw both of them looking at me intently. I took off the headphones and heard the two of them say in unison "Are you watching K-drama?" When I said yes, the mother asked "She wants to know which one. We too watch a lot of K-dramas". The daughter chipped in "We started watching K-dramas during the lockdown days. We have watched many series. We love them. My favourite is ..." I don't remember the name she mentioned. She continued "What is your favourite?" I said"Mr. Queen." She did not know the series. The mother took out her mobile and noted down the name. She asked "What is the name of the series you are watching?" I gave her the name of the series and warned her not to watch it with the daughter. I was not sure if she heard it and so I repeated it again. She nodded her head and noted down the name of the series anyway.
To get away from the topic of K-dramas, I asked the daughter "Are you from here or Thoothukudi?" She said she was going to Thoothukudi for the weekend. Her mother chipped in "My sister and I are makeup artists and we are going to Thoothukudi to take care of makeup for a bride." She took the opportunity to hand me a visiting card. I took it from her tentatively and wondered what to do with it. My son is probably many years away from marriage and I don't believe he would require a makeup artist anyway. Then I remembered my niece. As per the astrologer, she only had three and a half years left to get married. I took out my purse and placed the card inside it carefully. By this time, the mother and daughter got into a minor argument. She claimed that she was going with her mother to help them but her mother argued that the daughter was just tagging along for the food at the wedding. I smiled at them politely and wondered when it would seem not impolite for me to get back to the K drama. Suddenly, I asked the daughter which school she went to. She gave the name of the school and said that she studied in class 3B. The mother and daughter stopped talking to me after that. I wondered if it was due to the mentioning of school. I happily went back to the different sets of lovers falling in and out of love by the end of every episode.
When twenty minutes remained in the last episode, I received a message on instagram that read "Life's a tragedy" from the girl getting engaged at Thoothukudi the next evening. I felt worried. She had barely managed to maintain her sanity during 2024 and had finally heaved a sigh of relief when 2025 started unfolding. All the worst case scenarios started running through my head. I decided to call her before the train reached Villipuram. She picked up the call in the second ring and started a monologue that is given below. But before I get to that, it is important to place a note on how it was spoken by her and hence how it should be read. It was spoken at double the normal speed of speech. Also, a few vowels in some of the words were dropped. For example, the sentence "today was a complete disaster" should be read as "tdaywascmpltdisssaaastr". Also, a large chunk of what she said is not placed here for reasons of privacy. She said something like the following.
"Today was a complete disaster. They did a makeup trial and it was horrible. The makeup person applied tons and tons of powder and cream on my face, I ended up looking like someone else. And then the lipstick, peach coloured lipstick. Did you even know that peach is a colour? You thought it was a fruit, right? It's not just a fruit, it's a lipstick colour and it looks terrible. And the hair, she made it seem like a bird's nest (kurivi koodu to be precise). All I wanted was curls but when I saw myself in the mirror my toes curled. I looked like Medusa with all the snakes on her head howling at the moon. Usually, people say that a beautiful nose look like an inverted 7. She made mine look like an 8. I don't know how she managed it. Many people say I have a beautiful nose but the one I had after the session looked anything but beautiful and then she brought a lens to inspect if I had facial hair. I stopped her before she could get the lens anywhere close to my face. She seemed disappointed and had some thoughts and suggestions. I said no. And then..."
This went on for 36 minutes and 40 seconds. During the monologue I probably said some words but the only acknowledgement I received was "I can't hear you". Once or twice, I wondered the effect makeup artist sitting besides me would have on the bride the next evening. After a few more minutes of talking about her ghastly trial makeup session she said "Anyway I will put minimum makeup tomorrow. That person is not coming anywhere close to my face. Not a chance. Ok. I will see you tomorrow. Good night." When the call ended, I felt relieved as the tragedy she talked about did not seem like much of a tragedy. She had just built a Jurassic park inside her head.
Thoothukudi is a small town in south of Tamilnadu. People from Thoothukudi might not agree with the 'small town' part of my statement but for a person who has lived in Chennai most of his life, it seemed like a small town. Twenty minutes of drive was all it took for the town to end. I went for a walk around the block after breakfast. For reason I don't wish to mention here, I decided to not take a second round around the block and went back to my hotel room. As soon as I entered the room, I got a call from the girl who was getting engaged that evening. She said her mother wanted to talk to me. Before I could ask why her mother wanted to talk to me, her mother asked "You wanted to go to Sivagalai. Many from my family live there still. What did you want to see there? As far as I know there is nothing there to see." I tried to explain that there is 5000 year old burial site there. The finds from the place have caused a major excitement among Tamil archaeologists and historians, not to mention politicians. She said she will check with someone and get back to me.
A few minutes later her father, not the mother's father but the mother's husband, called and said "A friend of the family is an archaeologists and he will reach out to you soon." In 30 minutes, I received the call. The person worked with the archaeology department and seemed a knowledgeable person. Later, I realized, he had a doctorate and worked in dating pottery found in these sites. He gave me the number of two people who he said will help me at Sivagalai and at another site called Adhichanallur. By the time the call ended, the family had arranged for a car. Ninety minutes later, I walked between pits containing 5000 year old pottery of various sizes. The bigger ones were used to store bones of the dead with materials used or liked by the person placed besides. Medium sized pots containing the favourite food items of the dead were placed around the large pot. From these pots husks and remnants of rice and millet were found. Analysis also found that some of the pots were used to store milk and curd at the time of burial.
I was informed by the person at Adhichanallur that this site, which was on a rocky mound, was a secondary burial site. This meant that initially the bodies of the dead were buried inside similar large pots at a primary burial sites closer to places where people stayed. The pots were reopened after a few months and the bones of the dead were transferred to another pot and reburied in this site. The person who took me around mentioned that some of the pots were nearly six inches thick. They found a number of iron and bronze objects too. These and the bones of the dead were taken to the labs. The person showed me a few small pieces of the bones in one of the pots. An image of the place and people, as they existed 5000 years back, started forming in my head. I felt I was transported to those times.
The site at Sivagalai dated to 3345 BCE. The archaeologist found iron implements from that time at the site. As a result, it is now believed that the iron age in Tamilnadu started more than 5300 years back. The site itself was more recent and much less developed site when compared to Adhichanallur but its bareness made me feel even closer to people from the distant past. The watchman at the site was a good person who had information and stories about the site. The site was enclosed within tin shed. Initially only the top was covered and the sides were left open. Once when it rained the cattle grazing outside rushed into the shade of the shed. As a result, many of the large pots found intact in one of the pits were broken. The pots that remained intact and the contents of the pots from the pit were all taken to the labs.
The trip went on to the peripherals of the red sand desert called Therikaadu and the temple at Thiruchendur, which held a special place in my heart. During my younger days, many mornings started with Sirgazhi Govind Rajan singing loudly into my ears "Thiruchenduril kadal orathil senthilnathan arasangam..." from the local temple's loid speakers. Unfortunately, i could not see much of the temple and the sea as there were too many buildings and other constructions around the temple and I could neither see the temple's gopuram nor the sea. At the temple I observed yet another instance of human selfishness. The line to the inner sanctum ,which was not long, moved excruciatingly slowly. It took almost twice the time that it should have. When I reached close to the inner sanctum I realized that many people ahead stood praying to the god for a good 3 or 4 minutes. They blocked the queue and did not let anyone pass. At other temple, I have noticed that there are people who push such people ahead. Here no one cared so these selfish devotees stood there blocking the queue's movement asking their dear God for all kinds of favours in this world and the next. I wondered how God tolerated such selfish devotion.
I reached the engagement ceremony early. Other than the girl's father and brother I knew no one there and no one else knew me either. The father greeted me respectfully. Not being used to such a treatment in life, I felt I was the CEO of a company. Her brother, being the 7th or 8th most important person at that occasion was floating in cloud 9. Though I felt like I was the CEO of a company I could only reach up to cloud 6.5 and so he did not see me. I called out his name and he came running towards me saying "Oh uncle, I did not see you." Like his father he treated me respectfully too. I reached cloud 7.5. and felt like I was the CEO of a mid size company.
The girl appeared 45 minutes after I reached the location. In the time, I had read three articles on my phone and swiped through Instagram and Facebook four times. I also had a glass of grape juice which suspiciously tasted like grapes, unlike the purple coloured sweet solution I am used to. The poor chef thought grapes were actually used in making grape juice. I thought "good fellow".
The boy reached 15 minutes after the girl. Soon many members of the family were seen on the stage. The boy and the girl and a group of Reverends sat in its middle. The Reverends had a copy of the Bible in each of their hands. They read out parts from the book and advised the future bride and groom about married life. I am not sure I agreed with everything they said but i enjoyed listening to them. To give them credit they did not paint marriage as being a rosy picture, instead they dwelt on the do's and don'ts in married life.
The most interesting statement of the evening came from the boy's uncle. As soon as I saw him, I realized he is an important person. As I looked at him, he looked towards me. I wondered if I should give him a smile but then decided to smile only if he smiles first. He did not smile but turned away. I felt myself falling from cloud 7.5 to cloud 4. As the person walked up to the stage he was introduced as a famous cardiologist from a town close by. I felt relieved. I did not deserve receiving a smile from him. I was back to cloud 6.5. He talked a few lines about the goodness of the boy and girl. He went on to advice the girl "Man is made from clay and woman from the bone of man. This means that the woman, as she is made from man's bone, is stronger than the man." I thought that was an interesting way to look at the line from the Bible. It made women seem stronger, which usually does not happen in most of the texts from 2000 years back. Unfortunately, he followed it up with a cliche "It is for this reason that they say behind every successful man there is a woman". I find this line annoying. It neither satisfies the man nor the woman. The protest from the man would be "What! Why? Why can't my success me just mine? So what about all the success I had before I got married?" At that moment, the man would have heard a small voice in his head say "Maybe that woman is your mother!" On hearing this, his protest would have turned towards the small voice "In that case, what about my father?" At that point the small voice would have found it to be wise to say nothing. On the other hand, the woman would have protested "What! Why? Why should I be behind him? What can't I take care of my own success, which as such takes away a lot of my time and life? I can't take care of his success too. That's his responsibility." Of course, I have no idea if the boy and the girl on the stage thought any of this. Due to this train of thought I did not hear the concluding part of the uncle's speech.
I had dinner with... Well! It's tough to explain who the person was. Suddenly, he held up a fried chicken leg piece and said "Chicken is so expensive these days. When I was young, I used to buy one full chicken for 60 Rupees. Now it's so expensive. It's all due to these vegetarians eating chicken and mutton now. Their love for non-vegetarian food has raised its price. Even the price of fish is high now. They only eat vanjram fry and look at its rate. I can buy 10 kg of mathi for the price of 1 kg of vanjram. That is because they only eat vanjram fry. They don't like fishes like mathi. Now, Vanjram has become too expensive." This thought had never struck me. I always felt happy to see a vegetarian eat meat. It made them as unholy as me and I felt happy with the feeling that both of us would ultimately end up in chicken hell or goat hell. I did not believe in the person's observation though and wanted to counter him. But I was afraid I would be considered a vegetation turned non vegetarian. So, I said "hmmm" and continued eating.
The evening ended for me a little later. I shook hands with the girl's father and waved bye towards the boy and girl. I had felt a lot of love in the air. As I look back at my actions during the days after the function, I wonder if they were driven by this love.
