She opened the door and found her uncle standing there. He had a wicked smile plastered on his face. He asked, “Where are you off to?” She replied, “To my grandmother’s place.” He asked “That’s one floor below. It seems like you are going outside.” She knew her uncle was teasing her and wanted to smile it away. Instead, she responded, “My other grandmother.” He acted as though the statement was a revelation “Oh! Your other grandmother.” He changed the topic “I am meeting a friend for lunch at Mount Road Bilal. Do you want me to get you some biriyani?” She closed her eyes to avoid him seeing the greed in her eyes. Two of his words struck a chord in her heart, stomach rather – Bilal and biriyani. Then, she remembered two other words. She opened her eyes and asked, “Mount Road one?” He responded, "Obviously! I am not going all the way to Akkarai.”
Once again, she closed her eyes. This time she was trying to swallow her greed. She loved the food at her grandmother’s place. It tended to be exotic, but Mount Road Bilal biriyani was something else. Some people believed that if Emperor Akbar was alive, he would have ordered take-out from Mount Road Bilal at least once a week. Her thoughts wandered from Bilal and Akbar to how the food would have been delivered to the emperor. “Not through Zomato or Swiggy but through Zomugalo”. He interrupted her thoughts by asking “Why are you smiling?” She shook her head and said “Nothing, nothing. But I am going to my grandmother’s place.” His response was prompt “You said that earlier. But you can have it for dinner.”
“But I usually have dinner there.”
“But you will have lunch there.”
“Yeah, but I usually have dinner there.”
“Don’t have it today.”
“But I love the food there.”
“But you are having lunch there and for lunch you will have that good food anyway.”
“But they will want me to have food there.”
“Listen, we are talking about Bilal here. I could hear your thoughts behind those closed eyes. They were screaming Bilal.”
“Oh God! You are evil. Ok, get me a biriyani.”
Her mother shouted from behind “Only one biryani, ok?” He protested “You need one each.” She disagreed “Only one! We will share it. Can’t eat much at night.” “Alright! One mutton biriyani parcel” he announced grandly. His niece corrected “Chicken”. He looked at her shocked “Chicken! Mutton biriyani is the best. Chicken is a compromise.” She stood her ground “Chicken, not mutton.” He felt flabbergasted “But chicken is a bird.” But she did not budge “Chicken, not mutton”. He persisted “Chicken only has two legs”. She folded her hand and said nothing. He continued “It has wings.” She was getting frustrated, “Maama, only chicken biriyani.” He asked weakly “But why are you not having mutton biriyani?” She responded, “Goats are cute!” He did not know how to respond to it. Confused he asked, “But what has that got to do with mutton biriyani?” She felt annoyed “Mutton comes from goat and goats are cute!” He did not let go of the matter “Aren’t chickens cute?” She tightened her folded hands and said “No.” He did not hide his surprise when he asked “What! Haven’t you seen Chicken Run?” She realized she should have just turned down his offer for biriyani earlier “Maama! Don’t get me anything.” He backed off “Ok, ok. Oru chicken biriyani parsell.”
Late that night, she rang the bell of her grandparents’ house and waited. When her grandfather opened the door, she rushed in saying “Biriyani, biriyani, biriyani! Where is the biriyani?” Her uncle opened the fridge and took out a packet. He said to himself, “So, which one is chicken? Ah! This one! The other one has MB written on it.” She announced to everyone in the house “You know all the drama that I had to put to not have dinner there. I lay on the sofa holding my stomach for 15 minutes. To convince them further, I shut myself in the toilet for 15 minutes. I said ‘Ayo! My stomach’ some 20 times. Where is the biriyani? Give it to me now.” He handed her the biriyani. She said “Thank you! See you later” and skipped away.
Forty minutes later, he received a message from her mother, which said “Yummy biriyani!! Thanks a ton. I'm in heaven”
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