Wayward incidents

He looked at the level of the liquid inside the bottle he held in his hand. He gave a smile of satisfaction and took a swig out of the bottle. He looked at the vehicles passing by and wondered where everyone was going. He shouted "What's the hurry? Take it easy. Have a drink, have many drinks. Take it easy people." A couple of people passing by looked at him displeased. He ignored them. No, that would be incorrect to say. He did not notice them; he was completely unaware of their existence. He took another swig of the liquid and said "What is the point of existence if you slog through your existence so that you can exist? You don't need much in life. Some food, some drink, some cloths, ... No, no, no, you don't need cloths, you clothe yourself for others sake. No, no, no, that’s not true either. You do need some cloths for the winters but only to keep yourself warm. You could wrap a thick blanket around you and walk around the place. You don't need much. Some food, something to drink, a blanket, maybe two. Thats all. Nothing more. No car, no house, no marriage, no children, no nothing. What is the use of a house when you have a blanket, a nice thick blanket. People, take it easy!" One of the passersby got annoyed by his shouting and said "Quiet man!" He looked in the direction of the protesting voice and asked "What affects you? Is it the loudness of my voice or my words? Which is sharper? Tell me, tell me now."

He took another swig from his bottle and passed out. By the time he woke up, his surroundings had become empty. He looked at his bottle. It wasn't empty. He smiled at it and took it towards his mouth. When the bottle came down, it was empty. He lay the bottle on the ground and gave it a push. It rolled down the pavement noisily. He looked in direction of the rolling bottle and sang shakily "Keep rollin, rollin, rollin, rollin..." The sound of the rolling bottle stopped. He got up shakily. He looked to his left and said "Hmmm, where is it?". He looked to his right and said "Ah! There it is". He walked unsteadily towards the  bicycle that was standing against the wall. After taking a few steps, he said "Stay! Stay right there, cycle. Stay!" On reaching the cycle, he held its handlebar and said "My steed! I hope someone fed you. Someone did? You feeling full and healthy? Yeah? Good, let's go." He climbed the cycle and started pedalling. The handlebar of the cycle went this way and that. With it the cycle and he too went this way and that. He stopped and admonished the cycle "Listen Steed. Did you consume alcohol? Yes? No wonder you are going all around the place. Do not drink alcohol. It's bad for your liver. Haven't you heard the saying 'if you don't have a liver, you will no longer be a liver, for you will be deader than a lever'. What? No, mmm mmmm. I did not make that up. Stakesbear wrote it in ‘As long as it goes’. Anyway, the point is, no alcohol for you. Now shake your head, clear your head and then go." He shook the cycle's handlebar vigorously. In the process, he lost his balance and fell into a hedge. He called out from inside the hedge "What! Home already? Good night steed".

Back home, morning started at 9 am, during holidays that is. But here, on most mornings, she woke up at 5 am. Fifteen minutes later, she walked through the cold air. On most mornings, it was so cold that she had to touch her nose to ensure that it had not fallen. Fortunately, the nose fought bravely against the cold and managed to stay in its place. It was numb but alive. On some mornings, she wondered why she was putting herself through such misery. The warm bed below and the warmer blanket above seemed like a perfect place for her to be in during such cold mornings. But her father and uncle loved to walk during these unearthly hours, and she liked their company. At most times, they talked about the stock markets and their respective jobs. These topics did not amuse her. But at times, they talked about other topics. More than anything, she liked spending time with her father. So, every morning she walked behind them listening to him talk. 

At that time of the day, only a few vehicles plied on the road. Yet, all the traffic signals worked religiously with red turning yellow and yellow turning green. Depending on the greens and reds, the pedestrians were allowed to cross the road. Their route for the morning walks required them to cross many signals and every signal displayed a red coloured palm asking them to wait till the empty roads became safe for them to cross. Having lived for many years on this planet, her father and uncle realized the futility of waiting for the red palm to disappear before crossing the empty roads. But she was young and had not lost her idealist nature yet. So, she waited at most signals for it to give her a go ahead. She pressed the button at her end of the road to inform the gods who controlled the signals that she wished to cross the road. The gods responded instantly and menacingly by saying "WAIT". Every few seconds they reminded her to wait. She waited sincerely for the red palm to disappear. Finally, when the red palm disappeared, the gods announced that it is now safe to cross such and such a road. She ran across the road to catch up with her walk mates.

Like every morning, on this morning too, the waiting and catching up game continued. The midpoint destination of their journey was a coffee shop close by. The Iced Vanilla Latte at the coffee shop had captured her fancy. Her uncle was flummoxed by her affection for this cold drink. He asked, "How can you drink this cold drink on such a cold morning?" She responded, "I like it that way." When the coffees arrived, she found the milky heart shape that floated on top of her father's coffee fascinating. She clicked a picture of it and added it to her collection of milky hearts. 25 minutes later they started their journey back. The way back seemed colder due to the cold breeze blowing steadily against them. She walked at a slight distance from her uncle and father. Soon, she passed by an SUV that was parked in the parking lot of a mall. She had noticed this vehicle almost every day. A lady sat inside the vehicle looking at her smartphone. She wondered aloud "Why does this lady sit inside the car so early in the morning, every day of the week?" She had seen the lady on her way to the cafe. She was still there on the way back. This meant that she sat inside that vehicle for at least 45 minutes. Her uncle heard her and responded, "Maybe there are too many people in her house, and she wants a few minutes of peace before starting her day." He continued "Maybe she is a school teacher who has many children of her own at home too. So, this is probably her moments of peace." She glared at him and said, "If she were a teacher, she would love children." His uncle retorted "Not all the time and not tens and hundreds of them every day. Haven't you heard the saying 'adhikamayal amridhamum vishamaane'. It’s probably like that." 

She did not like her uncle's logic. Teachers must love children regardless of how many there are in her life. She wondered why the lady became a teacher and why she had so many kids if she could not be with them all the time. At that moment, she realized that her uncle had only speculated about the lady. Neither her nor her uncle had any idea about her or her activities. She struck her forehead with her palm and said loudly "What's wrong with me?" At that moment, a voice from inside the hedge besides her responded "How would I know?" At the same time, she noticed a pair of legs jutting out of the hedge. She screamed, jumped over the legs and ran towards her uncle and father. 

He woke up from his sleep when he heard a loud voice asking, "What's wrong with me?" He felt confused. The voice did not seem familiar, and he was sure he did not know the person. He wondered how he was supposed to know what was wrong with the person. He responded, "How would I know?" In response he heard a scream and the sound of someone running away. He sat up and said "Hey". He saw the vague figure of someone running towards two others. He called out in their direction "But how would I know? I don't even know who you are. How do you expect me to know what's wrong with you? You should know it, but you are only a human. Humans do not have the ability to know what's wrong with them, they only know what's wrong with others. Don't worry. You are only a human." He sang "Human, human, human" in a robotic voice as he sank back into the bush.