Slumber Plumber

Translated from the Lithuanian original "Miega vandens darbo žmogus"

Did you know? You wouldn't know

They got the story wrong

About that beautiful girl

Who slept like a log

Till a Prince Charming came along

And woke her up with a kiss

The truth was far from this

Very far; how far you ask?

The sleeping one was not a girl at all

Sleeping Beauty never happened

Slumber Plumber did though

The plumber worked hard through the day

For in the fifteenth century

People were busy renaissance-ing

And no one had time to ensure

That the taps fit into the pipes well

So, water leaked from the taps

Drop by drop

Much to the annoyance of all

The plumber being the only plumber in the village

Had to fix all the leaks quick

Running from house to house across the village

Made him tired at the end of the day

He like the so called sleeping beauty, slept deep

Tip top tip top tip top tip top

He woke up to the sound of water leaking from the taps

And then one day, for reasons known to none

The taps stopped leaking

The sound from water leaking ceased

The plumber's impetus to wake up no longer existed

Everyone forgot his existence for there were no leaking pipes

And so he slept for a few years

And then one day, for reasons known to none

The taps started leaking again

Everyone remembered the plumber

They found him sleeping in his barn on a bed of straw

Through years plants starting using his bodily resources

Grass grew out of his nostrils, moss covered his hands

A tiny thyme peeped out through his open mouth

It danced to tune of his snore

"Oh God! He's dead" cried one from the gathered crowd

"Don't be stupid! Can't you hear him snore?" retorted another

"Let's wake him up" shouted many

They tried by shouting, by shoving, by shaking

By pulling, by pushing, by pouring water

But of no avail, he continued to sleep

Attracted by the commotion, a holy man entered the barn

He cut through the crowd

Saw the cause of commotion

Checked the plumber eyes, hands and legs

And announced thus

"A curse has been placed by a sage on this man

For this man disturbed the sage's slumber with unholy water

From his insides. Enraged the sage cursed

'Sleep with water in your mind

Wake with water in your mind

But my rage freezes water too

Wait for a kiss from the green jumpy one

Once pretty, now a frog'"

Thus the plumber sleeps

Among the shrub that grow on and around him

His muffled snore heard by many

Who have forgotten this tale

If you find a pretty green frog

Trying to mouth the word 'help'

Direct the frog in the direction of the snore

And await to witness a miracle.

NOTE: I don't think I have written anything hurtful to anyone here. I don't expect any Lithuanian to visit my page (Yeah right!). But in case, a Lithuanian reads this and feels "What the hell!", please replace Lithuanian with a language of your choice and use Google Translate to translate 'Sleeping water works man' to that language. Thank you for your patience.