The aroma of upma wafted through the air. I removed my slippers and stepped into the dining hall. The sight of the empty serving table disappointed me. I walked towards the kitchen and asked the person sitting on a table chopping beans "isn't the breakfast ready?" She responded "9:00 AM". I looked at the watch and realized that 9:00 AM was 30 minutes away. I went back to my desk and stared at the image on my desktop. The Microsoft Windows logo was not unattractive but it was not attractive either. But I stared at it for the aroma had numbed my brain and only the upma can get it out of this numbness. At that moment, I saw the boss walking by and to distract my mind off the upma decided to discuss matters of utmost importance with her. At the end of 15 minutes our discussion was disturbed by the words of protest emanating from a senior colleague. My thoughts went back to the upma. But I could not leave the animated conversation immediately and so listened to it for a few minutes. As the heat of the conversation subsided, I slinked away quietly.
As I entered the dining hall, I saw steam rising from a large vessel that was placed on the serving table. A line of people stood patiently as the person at the table served them dollops of upma. I stood at the end of the queue and waited patiently. Soon I was standing beside the hot vessel with a plate in my hand. The person at the counter served me two large servings of the upma. I looked at it and asked her "What is this? This is not rava upma". She responded "This is samba rava upma". I smiled for I liked the samba rava upma more than the normal rava upma. I sat at a table and started recounting for the millionth time about the incident that changed my feeling towards the upma.
Damn! I am unable to control the urge to not recount the incident for the million and one-th time.
I was in an Indian Airlines flight from Bombay to Bangalore. I had spent the previous night awake and was on the verge of sleep when I heard a voice utter "sir" sharply. I opened my eyes and saw a food tray staring at me. I took the tray, placed it on the table and took the cover off the tray. The whole of my respiratory system was attacked by the delicious smell of upma. I had spent the past three months eating corn flakes and bread for breakfast in a foreign land and had forgotten the existence of this dish. I felt annoyed when I saw the spoon was wrapped safely within a paper napkin and placed even more safely within a ziplock cover. Five minutes later, I found myself staring at a spoonful of upma. I placed the spoon with its content in my mouth.
Heaven... I'm in heaven,
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak.
And I seem to find the happiness I seek,
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.
Heaven... I'm in heaven,
And the cares that hung around me through the week,
Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak,
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.
(I am sure that no one will think that the last eight lines are written by me. I heard this song in the soundtrack of the movie 'The English Patient' and it has stayed with me since.)
Getting back to the morning. A few minutes later, I found that the plate was bereft of the upma but a blob of the groundnut chutney remained. "Damn" I thought "I need some more upma to finish the chutney". A little later I found that the plate was bereft of the chutney but an average sized lump of upma remained. I went back to the counter and got some chutney. Soon, I was back to the earlier state of upma: 0 and chutney: 1. I was about to get up and go back to the counter to get another helping of upma when I heard my stomach shout in protest "Stop! What the hell! I only have space enough for a mug of tea. No more upma". I took my stomach's protest seriously. I could not afford to mess with my stomach for I had a morning filled with meetings.
A few minutes later, as I was washing my plate and mug at the sink, a young colleague washing his plate besides me asked "Hello, how are you?" This question has terrified me for a long time. I realize that I am supposed to respond "good" but that would be a blatant lie and there are times when I don't like to lie; definitely not for something as banal as "How are you?" I can't respond "bad" for that would not be right either. So I usually end up saying "Ok". But, over time, I have realized that this was not considered different from "bad". Thus, I have come to the conclusion that the best response for the question "How are you?" is "good". So, I smiled at him and responded "Good. And you?" I did not bother to listen to his response as I already knew what it would be. I shifted my focus back to the mug that I was washing when I heard him ask "Did you have breakfast?" I was stumped. I thought it was obvious that I was washing the plate and mug after having my breakfast. Apparently not! So I responded "Yes. And you?"
About five years ago, I was diagnosed with a mental condition that possessed an unpronounceable name. Due to this condition, I felt waves of intense restlessness pass through my entire body when I heard voices talk one after the other for more than fifteen minutes on a topic that only deserved five minutes of talk time. I have been under medication for the past few years to alleviate this condition and usually exhibit normal human-like behaviour during meetings. Unfortunately, the medication has a severe side effect. I hear John Fogerty sing, non-stop, the lines
Oh, susie q, oh, susie q
Oh, susie q,
Baby i love you, susie q
I like the way you walk
I like the way you talk
I like the way you walk
I like the way you talk, susie q
Usually, I keep my body under control as the song played in my head but that morning I must have ended up grooving to the song. The chair person of the meeting noticed it and thought that I had something to say. She said "Yes. Go ahead." I was stumped. This was happening for the second time in the past month. Maybe I should go back to the doctor and ask him to prescribe a medicine which will change the song to "Stayin' Alive" by BeeGees. No! That would be a disaster. I might end up trying to do a John Travolta step during a meeting.
Anyway, being aware of the meeting's subject, I recounted an incident from my teenage years that involved me getting humiliated in the class regularly for not submitting the Malayalam homework. I tied the situation neatly to something I don't like doing these days and ended my contribution to the meeting. Almost instantly, many hands went up and for the next hour many voices said many words, none of which entered my brain.
Din thaka din thaka din thaka. Tun toe do twang twang twang ta ta da da. Oh, susie q, oh, susie q. Oh, susie q. Baby i love you, susie q. I like the way you walk...
At the end of the first part of the meeting, I was the second person to get out of the room. I rushed to the dining hall, to have some tea. When I got there, I was disappointed to see that the people in the kitchen had transmogrified the tea into a soup. Not just any soup but a soup with vegetables. Someone mentioned that the soup would have tasted better if it had cornflakes in it. Another protested by saying that the corn flakes would reduce the healthiness of the vegetable soup. But I did not care about either of these ingredients, I only wanted a cup of tea. As I washing the cup, a colleague referring to what I mentioned in the earlier meeting said "There are many such strong dislikes in you". I responded "everyone does. I talk about it openly; others don't". She did not have a response and so I left.
The second part of the meeting involved discussions on functional matters. I could not risk missing points of discussion in this meeting and so asked John Fogerty to shut up. A few minutes prior to the start of the meeting, a colleague got into the room in a hurry and chose a spot to sit. Seeing this, the two persons sitting beside the spot picked up their chairs and moved it to make space for her. As I observed the scene, the names "Thomson and Thompson" came into my mind. The two of them had no similarity with Thomson or Thompson. As a matter of fact, the two of them had no similarity with each other either; except for their chest long beards. But the synchronicity of their actions reminded me of the two characters from Tintin.
The meeting started calmly. Discussions proceeded gently and at one point I was worried that all this calmness would lull me to sleep. But the fact that I had an announcement to make right at the end of the meeting kept me agile. Seconds passed into minutes and minutes into an hour. Finally, I heard the chairperson call my name. I cleared my throat and made my announcement in an emotionless tone.
Kaboom
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning, since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No, we didn't light it...
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