Note from the writer: The views presented below are not the writer's. The writer is only recording some of the traumatic words that he underwent a few days back. Of course, not everything mentioned below are uttered by the utterer but some of them are. As a result, the writer believed that these words had to be saved for the posteriety to remember that such people existed. The writer wishes to add that such people existed, they exist now and they will continue to exist. So don't be traumatized by their words!
Once I was sitting under a tree. What? No, it was not a mango tree. This is US, not India. There are no mango trees here. What you mean there are mango trees here? Oh! Never mind. I mean I have never seen a mango tree in America. So, no it was not a mango tree. What? What do you mean which tree? I have no idea which tree it was. This happened 15 years back. So even if I knew which tree it was, I would not remember it. Besides I am not a zoologist. What now? What do you mean zoologist study animals and not trees? I mean isn't that what I said? I am not a zoologist. You saying the same, which means we agree. Why are you interrupting me? I am saying something important here. Something meaningful. Do not interrupt me. Let me go on, ok? Ok.
As I was saying I was sitting under a tree. Maybe it was an oak tree. What? I should not guess the tree. Ok, I won't. Ok? You happy? It was a tree, some tree, any tree, ok? Ok. Anyway, I was sitting under a tree. Actually more like lying down when a thought struck me. Not literally. I mean it was not like a ball striking me. It was just a thought that occured to me. From out of nowhere. Literally out of nowhere I got the thought that I prefer to work with Tamlyans. They are better to work with than any other people on this planet. You want to know why? Yes? Say yes, ok? Ok. You know why I prefer to work with Tamlyans? Because they are not troublemakers. I trust those Tamlyans. You know what they say about the Tamlyans in this country? You don't? I will tell you what they say. They say "We trust the Tamlyans as they will not steal our land, our money or our women? We trust them." They don't trust no Punjabi hunks like me. But they trust the Tamlyan. That's why I too trust the Tamlyan.
Yeah, ok? OK! Let us talk about business now. Blah, blah, blah, cost, blah, blah, blah, skill, blah, ...
Wait a minute! I got to tell you this. The Prime minister of India sent my wife a Happy Independece Day email. But he did not send it to me. I know, I know, I know he did not send it personally. It is sent by one of those Indian Government departments but it is signed Narendra Modi. He sent it to her and not to me. What? I have no idea if she signed into some Indian government website or not. But how can it be dependent on signing up in websites? I am as much as Indian as she is. So I should receive the Happy Independence Day mail with the prime minister's signature too. I know, I know, I know we are American citizens but we are Indians too. So, it is my independence day too and I should receive the mail too. It's unfair that only she got it and not me. Oh! Never mind, let us get back to business.
Blah, blah, blah, ...
So, guys send me the information about your company and I will see how we can work together. I know a lot of people at high places because they all belong to a particular religion. You know what I mean. So, I will go to the people in the high places and make sure you guys get a lot of business. I love you guys. I really want to work with Tamlyans like you. Yeah? OK? Cool! You guys have a good one. Take it easy!
