Anxious eyes

She was away the from office for three days. She had reached home late the previous night and had only slept for five hours. She reached the office with sleep lingering in her eyes. Unfortunately, the day started with a meeting. It proceeded with another and finally ended with yet another meeting. As she walked into the meeting room, her eyes scanned the room. Disappointment crept into her sleepy eyes. She scanned the faces again. She did not see him. She felt shattered. The thought of seeing his face had inspired her to get out of the bed that morning. But he was not there.  

She sat down and asked her neighbour about him. "He is unwell and has not been in office for the past two days" was the response. She turned her face as she said "oh! Is it?" She placed her head on the table and let the tears roll down her cheeks.

Ridiculosity

The word ridiculosity exists from the mid-nineteenth century. But it is still considered ridiculous to study ridiculosity. It is high time humanity declared ridiculosity an important field of eduction and research. Please don't say "how ridiculous is that!" Everyone should realize the importance ridiculosity has for our existence. No one believes me still! All of you look at me with pity and say "poor fellow, he never stops talking nonsense." But it is flow from nonsense to humour and ultimately to ridiculosity that would help save humanity (not the planet; the planet can take care of itself - it has and it will). Let me try to elucidate through two example of current day incidents.

Let us look at the Sabarimala row. There is a hue and cry about women in menstrual age entering the shrine. Almost everyone I have met seems to have very strong opinion about it. If you don't have an opinion then each party assigns you to the opposite camp. One lady asked what my stand about it was. I said its not important. It has only caused a lot of trouble and will not change anything on the ground. The Supreme court should have probably left the issue alone and looked at something else. I was promptly assigned to the male chauvinist pig category. There are girls and women being kept away during their menstrual cycle in all parts of our country. I have heard of two instance of deaths caused in such cases. Does anyone think that letting women in menstrual age to Sabarimala would change such ostracism? The small change will lead to the betterment of women all around the world is what I get as a response. Right! Like reservation has changed the lives of the Dalits and Schedules Castes and Tribes.

Now let us look this issue through the multicoloured lens of ridiculosity. Look at the Pro-Hindu groups standing and fighting for this issue on the streets as though the God's reputation depended on their actions. The God is so fragile that he will break down if women of the said age enter one of his temples. Why do we pray to such fragile Gods who cannot take care of themselves? The gheraoing of the Kochi airport when the activist Trupti Desai landed was ridiculous beyond anyone's imagination; even mine. One lady said "I am from Palakkad. I saw in the news early this morning that a set of women is flying in to Kochi to try and enter Sabarimala. I decided to drop everything I was doing and come to the Kochi airport to protest. BTW, this is the first time I am seeing the Kochi airport". If this isn't ridiculous, I am not sure what is.

Through the day, different channels showed Trupti Desai and her group sit and stand at various parts of the airport. They were looking into mobile, talking to each other, talking animatedly to the police personnel or sometimes staring at the protesters. At the end of the day, she calls for a press meet and declares victory. "We have made the protesters come to the airport and protest. That in itself is a victory". Of course, the protesters also claimed victory. I think J Krishnamurthy would have loved this situation. Everyone's winning and no one's losing.

I also loved the coverage of the women in the said age attempting to enter Sabrimala. It was a competition for who gets in first - to have their names written in history. They announced their intention on the social media and any other media that listened to them. The police were present and so were the local, national and international media. Somewhere in the crowd the members of the Guiness and Limca book of records might have been present too. Of course on the opposing side multitude of Bhatkhs, Sanghis and other right-wingis were present. Then the race sets off. The police ran with the women in the middle. The opposition ran along chanting saranam to their beloved God. At some point, they gave up and ran back faster than earlier. The opposition continued chanting. Maybe someone should make a collage of these video with the Pink Floyd track "Run like hell" in the background. The saviours of the women's issues and Swami Ayyappa made a joke out of their respective issues.

Finally, the new year produced the first women in the menstrual age to enter the Sabarimala temple post the Supreme court decision (Phew!). Two women risked their lives to enter the temple complex at 3:34 am. The Kerala Police planned and executed the operation in a manner that it should inspire a movie on the lines of Uri. The women were sung as heroes (or heroines, I am not sure which is more appropriate) by one section of the society. They were shunned as villains by the other. They went into hiding to save their precious lives. Two weeks later, when the situation seemed to have cooled down, they came out of hiding and go home. One of the women was given an hero's/heroine's welcome. While the other was hit on her head with a log by her mother-in-law. She landed in the hospital and was seen in photographs with a collar around her neck. A few weeks later, the Supreme court or high court ordered that she should be let into the house. Her mother-in-law, husband and family walked off the house and left her alone in the house. I have not heard about a case being filed against the mother-in-law for violence. This does not sound like life. This seems like a scene from some black comedy. I am reminded of the movie Panchavadi Paalam.

How can anyone take all this seriously! I think the big problem the world faces today is that we take everything seriously and so spend all our effort convincing people that the issue is serious and we should all take it seriously. We do a lot of talking but no action. So while women across the world continued to be abused grievously we are busy labeling each other.

The other case requiring urgent attention are the issues related "saving the environment"and "global warming". Every one has an opinion with respect to these issues and everyone's convinced that their point of view is correct. Not just that everyone's convinced that the other side is composed of fools. So no one quite explains the meaning of global warming and many do not bother to understand the phrase's meaning. Trump takes advantage of this fact and comes up with a statement that all the snow is the North of US proves that the world is cooling down and global warming is a preferred situation. It's unbelievable that the President of the US can come up with a statement like this one. As much as we like to believe that he is a fool I don't think it is true. I think he is sure that there are people foolish enough to believe what he says and on the other hand people are foolish enough to believe that he is a fool. Both ways he wins.

While there is so much noise about these issues in the media ,very little action happens on ground. Many a times, conferences are held at exotic locations to discuss these issues, which by itself add to the harm caused to the environment. We are in the age of cloud computing where everyone can interact with everyone else through any device and we are always in possession of at least one device that is capable of connecting to anyone else around the globe. Yet, everyone travels everywhere. There are no work from homes, e-conferences or e-meetings. Where is the reduction in the abuse to the environment? All we do is talk. These are the disturbing aspects of the world today. Ridiculosity comes in when people talk about saving the environment and tch-tchs at people buying bottled water as they carry their own water bottle while they travel around the city in their own private cars. When holding placard on the road seems to make a difference. Yesterday, I saw a set of students standing in front of college holding placards about road safety photographed by two people standing in the centre of the road. The traffic rushing on the two sides of the road nearly mashed the two people taking the photograph. Should we feel angry or sad about such a situation? Its ridiculous and deserves to be laughed at.

As I have said earlier, the problem in both the above cases is that we seem to take ourselves too seriously. Worse, we want everyone to believe that we are serious about some issue or other and this becomes more important than the issue itself. You shout from the rooftops that you have a serious outlook about a serious issue that everyone should take seriously. The issue itself gets addressed poorly. As an example, I have used so many words telling how serious I am about ridiculosity rather than getting into ridiculosity itself.

Ridiculosity is the analysis of every thought and event from the point of view of it being ridiculous. The intent of the analysis is to determine the lack of intention or presence of dubious intention behind each thought. Sometimes, the analysis also tries to bring out the presence of intention behind a ridiculous thought. The study of ridiculosity is important to differentiate it from absurdity. Many a times, we believe ridiculosity and absurdity are same but I believe that is not true. I am not sure any of us understand the reason for this but it should be understood. Ridiculosity is important for the well being and ultimately the survival of mankind.

Here are some example of analysis of perceivably ridiculous statements.

1. H and B are brothers with one being more rounded than the other.
The two character display an obvious similarity when placed next to each other. But in the alphabet series they are separated by five characters and these distract our attention for one should remember that the most frequently used character in English 'E' lies right in the middle of the five. There are some lessons to be learned.

• We are not capable of observing everything that is obvious. 
• Our similarities will become more obvious than our differences when the distance that separates us decreases.
• Differences exist so don't try to hide them.

2. I discovered something interesting today. Take the word teaching. Exchange the position of 't' and 'ch' in teaching results in the word ...

First we were taught that the Earth is flat. After many centuries, we were told "Forget that flat earth nonsense; the Earth is spherical." Now we are told it is not exactly spherical. In another 500 years, students would be taught that the Earth is a cube. Is this teaching or cheating?

3. Some of us are non-vegetarians and others "naan vegetarian"
This statement is beyond my abilities of analysis.

4. When there are many objects moving in different directions, even the object moving straight seems to move randomly.
Even when you are surrounded by chaos, you should move in a straight path. But you should understand that for an observer, you will be a part of the chaos and hence would only perceive your movement as chaotic. Thus, if you choose to move along a straight path, you should only do it for your on self but not for any observer. If you are doing it for an observer, the point is lost and you are no better than the others.

5. A brahminiccal view of a predator: a predator is a non-vegetarian.
As offending as it sounds, it seems to be true. One cannot find an argument against it. A non-vegetarian is a predator.

6. Take leader and exchange the positions of 'd' and 'l'. You end up with the true nature of leadership.

A leader is nothing but a dealer. Its like Clark Kent becoming Superman and vice versa. Dealing, compromising and solving issues form a major part of a leader's activities. No wonder the two words are alike.

7. After death there is no sense; there is no nonsense either.
This is a comforting thought. The nonsense that one goes through in life makes life unbearable. All the sensibility in one's life is not sufficient to bear the pain caused by the nonsense. So one should not rue about death but welcome it as it would be the end of nonsense.

8. As the old Nordic saying goes "If you want an ear to hear, there are two here"
The saying shows that people don't have the ability to identify the support and resources present around them. They require constant reminders.

9. I have heard of the existence of an old Celtic saying that goes "To sin with sugar is divine for even the Gods cannot resist the temptation of the sweet."
The whole world is out to destroy sweets. Every wall on every street has posters on the ill effects of sweet and sugar. But it is said that the Celts had direct connections with the Gods and they are aware of the goodness of sweet and sugar.

10. Loftiness and humility are always in the listener's head and not in the utterer's tongue.
How can someone insult you if you don't consider the words uttered at you as insult? So you are responsible for the insult and not the utterer.

11. Never leave a sentence hanging. It could land anywhere and then there will furore.
In reality, even a non-hung sentence could cause a furore. This is a good complement for point 10. One has no control where a sentence would land and furore it would cause.

12.A post lands up on the wall and says "Witzelsucht is a medical condition in which one makes puns in socially unacceptable situations". The owner of wall instantly realizes this condition exists in him. He decides to advantage of the situation and posts it in a WhatsApp group with the line "I was diagnosed of this illness last evening :(". Concern starts flowing in the group. One raises a question "Who is your doctor?", which is responded with a prompt "Dr. Punjabiskesan". The group went silent for the next two days.
Ultimately, the irrepressible urge to pun is a necessity for ridiculosity. Some might find the pun to be a punishment but they don't understand that life itself is a punishment and hence they tend to wrongly believe that pun's are punishment.

Ridiculosity would help humanity survive the oncoming centuries. If we take ourselves seriously, we will feel miserable when our house sinks in the rising oceans. But bring in ridiculosity and you will laugh at the time and effort you spent on the sunken house. Your most important possession would be housing fishes. You built a house for fishes. Isn't that ridiculous?

24 hours of celebrations

A few months back, my friend mentioned that with passing of time her understanding of her father's words has grown deeper. He had said "when a boy and a girl get married they think that marriage is about their lives. While this is the truth, it is only a partial truth. Marriage is not only about the boy and the girl. Its about the families; not just the two families but about all the families involved." While we nod our heads and believe we understand the statement, its only with time that we understand the depth behind this apparently obvious statement.

You grow having a father and mother, maybe a couple of siblings, a set of uncles and aunties and a pair of grandparents. You take years to get used to them and at times even understand them. After two and a half or three decades of living, everything changes. The number of fathers, mothers, uncles, aunties, siblings and grandparents gets doubled. Suddenly you get into the awkward position of calling two people mother and in your own head you sometimes get confused which mother you are referring to. Sometimes, you append a 'his' or 'her' to the mother to make it "his mother" or "her mother" but you are sure it can only be done within your head for to utter it seems disrespectful to the person. I use mother as an example but this could be extended to any other relation. 

You realize the complexity of the situation when a stranger thumps you on your back and hollers with a grin "did you sleep well dear son-in-law?" On the one hand, you have no response for the question and on the other you have no idea who he is. Inside your head you are scratching your head wondering "Who could this be? Is this a Chacha or a Jija? Could this be the Mama or the Keema? Whoever he is how should I respond? Maybe I will smile back at him".  You smile at him weakly and almost instantly feel embarrassed by the guffaws emanating from the new and yet unknown relation.

Life is not only about oneself and marriage similar; it is not only about the bride and groom. Marriage by itself, with just the two people involved, is an adventure. The complexity the families bring in only add to the excitement. It's like going for a trek. If you are not ready for the hardships of the trek and if you don't consider them as fun, why go for a trek at all.

I am not sure why I am writing all this. That was supposed to be an introductory passage but I meandered. Though I have been married for many years it will be a gross error for me to consider myself as an expert in the field. As a matter of fact, I don't think there are experts in this or for that matter any field. So let me go ahead with what should have been the second passage.

The planet has entered the new age, which is also referred to as the modern era by some. Apparently, marriage has become aware of this inescapable truth and has decided to move with the times. Marriage has decided to ignore the narrow realms of caste, creed, nationality, region, religion and other such segregationist practices among humans. Now anyone can marry anyone if they desire to do so. If I have to put on my barely fitting romantic hat, I would say "it is the age of love" (I hope you have noticed the clever use of italics).

If there are hands going up in protest, put them down immediately. I realize there are other kinds of marriages too but this piece is like a Karan Johar movie where family members who hate each other continue to love each other but make us believe they hate each other so that we can watch them act for three and half hours hating each other when in reality, they love each other.  So this piece is dedicated to a Karan Johar movie.

I witnessed a marriage that was all about love. I found it interesting that this is taking place an year after another marriage from the same family, which was also all about love. In both cases, the people involved crossed regional and language boundaries to become a family. Every marriage that is prefixed by the word love has an interesting story attached to it. The one from last year had one and the one I talk about now too has an interesting story attached to it. I don't plan to describe either of these stories because I only came into the scene when I got the invitation card and no one bothered to explain the stories to me.

He is a South Indian who has lived most of his life in the North of India. She is a Central Indian who, I believe, has lived most of her life in the North of India. Eh... maybe all her life for I am not very sure about the details. They met at some place at some point of time and at some other point decided they would like to spend their lifetime together. They managed to convince their parents and a few months later I was booking a ticket on MakeMyTrip.

Three of us were supposed to attend the wedding but by the time I booked the tickets, the younger one was dragged into another travel. Thus the smallest and the most excited member of the group was absent. The journey to the airport by itself would require a page or two and so I will not get into it. Besides, it would not be of interest for anyone other than the two people involved. When the two of us landed we took an expensive prepaid taxi from the airport to the hotel, which was quite appropriately named Mosaic.

Marriages are perfect occasions for the distantly placed members of a family to meet. So the uncles in Delhi hug and shake hands with their nephews in Chennai. Two aunts who live in Bombay and Kozhikode meet their nephew and niece who refuse to call them aunts but call them elder sister instead. Hugs and shouts of joy filled the hotel corridor. Thus the cold and hard hotel corridor got its bits and pieces of colour. Stories from the past and present bounced through the corridor merrily. The group of people felt fortunate to meet each other in an year's time and had less than 24 hours to spend with each other. Nowhere Man words "so little time, so much to know" would sound right for this situation.

The party that evening was two hours away; enough time for the women folk to shop and for the men folk to chat over tea. So the men talked about their lives while the women visited the shops across the city. At 7 PM, the groom's uncle called and inquired our whereabouts. He was shocked to find that we had not stepped out of the hotel and did not intend to do so for at least another hour. A few minutes later, the groom's brother reached the hotel. He politely tried to get us off the hotel. But we were waiting for the ladies to get back. We shrugged our shoulders and said we could not help it.  He, being a polite person, went elsewhere to coax other guests.

We reached the party at 8 pm, exactly an hour later than expected. The shopping did not take long but the journey to and from the shops did. We quickly dressed up for the party and left. The party was in full swing with the music blaring as we walked in through the door. We saw a number of people dancing to our left. A few were crowded at the right end of the hall by the bar. The remaining sat around tables spreads all across the hall and chatted. As in the earlier case, the family greeted each other with shouts, handshakes and hugs. People commented about each other's fatness or leanness. People questioned and answered about events in their lives. All exchanges were accompanied by wide smiles and loud laughs.

Soon that critical moment of the party arrived. Someone shouted "Come on people! Let's dance". I only like the phrase "Let's dance" when David Bowie sings it. So I walked in the direction the bar not to get sloshed but to keep away from shaking a leg. Almost immediately, "its a small world" kind of incident landed on me. I met a person from another world who introduced me to people I had heard about for years but had never met. We smiled and talked. I picked a small glass of something and sipped on it tentatively. One of my uncles looked at me with amusement and pride for he had never seen me sip glasses of something. I got tired of sipping after the third sip and gulped down the liquid. Someone said "refill it". I could not even look around and stare at him for my world seemed unsteady. I realized I should not have gulped it in. I took the vow I had taken an year ago - "never again".

Though I kept away from the dance floor, I got news from the floor at regular intervals. The groom shook a leg or two with vigour. An uncle turned out to be the Hrithik Roshan of the family. There was not much talk about the others as they danced the way they were supposed to dance. I smiled, nodded and let the world swim around me. I was afraid to stand for there were too many people around me and did not want to end up being the drunk old uncle. At many parties, dinner is not the most important aspect but for us it was and we attacked the food with plates, forks and spoons. I have noticed that the dessert is the most important aspect of a buffet. Everyone agreed that the dinner was delicious and then spent many minutes discussing the dessert. Some said it was too sweet and other said it was just right. Of course, the discussion about sweets automatically led to diabetes. My muddled head got confused and for a moment I thought I had been transported to a medical conference.

All the discussion about diabetes had me depressed and I was considering a second helping of the dessert to help me forget the word diabetes when someone suggested it was time to leave. I dropped the plate in a safe place (I hope) and went in search of everyone I knew. We spent 30 minutes bidding adieu to all. We spent a reasonable part of the 30 minutes in wishing the groom a good night's rest.

At the end of the day I understood something. When the invitation says reception one can expect bride and groom to be standing on a stage decked in fine dresses and jewelery greeting everyone and accepting gifts graciously. On the other hand, party is a looser term and one might or might not find either the bride or groom or both. It was an occasion to meet, talk and have fun, which was exactly how it turned out.

The D-day arrived like any other day. We woke up and found ourselves at a fork. We debated the two possibilities and concluded that we will go for breakfast decked in our marriage guest worthy attire. During the week prior to the wedding I received a few calls from family members who unable to attend the wedding requested me to gift the newly wedded couple a certain amount of money on their behalf. They did not realize but they had placed me in an odd position. I was used to receiving gifts and am not very good at giving. But in this case, I had shown responsibility enough to buy envelopes that would hold the gift amounts. There was one problem though. I did not have the required amount of money. So I had to visit the ATM, which is a creature that is never found close by when one needs it.

I asked the person at the reception about the location of the closest ATM. He gave me a "na jaane kahan kahan se aathe hain" look and said waving his left hand "there's one next to the petrol bunk". So I let myself into the cold and walked. Though I had a blazer over my T-Shirt, my sparsely populated head was free of clothing. So I felt the cold enter into my head and freeze the air and water inside. Five minutes into the walk I realized that the petrol bunk and the ATM beside it were not close by. I walked for fifteen minutes, which seemed like an hour, in the cold.

I saw the head of a petrol bank and an Axis bank ATM. I went in, took out my debit card, prayed to the thousands of gods I had at my service and inserted the card into the ATM. A few minutes later, I heard the sweet sound of the ATM whirring the money. Snap and out came a bunch of five hundred rupee notes. I thanked the gods and grabbed the money. As I did so, I realized that I only had one one rupee coin and one two rupee coin in my wallet whereas I needed three one rupee coins. If you are not used to the Indian system of gifting money for occasions, you would be scratching your head and saying "Eh?". We Indians only gift amounts that end in one rupee. For example, if you plan to gift 1,00,000 rupees to someone, you should gift 1,00,001 rupees. On the other hand, if you plan to gift 10 rupees to someone, you should gift 11 rupees. The one rupee is very important. I was told by one of my uncles that there are special gift envelopes available these days, which have one rupee coin stuck to it and so one does not have to go in search of the elusive single rupee. As I said, I wouldn't know as I am not the gifting kind.

On my way to the ATM, I had seen a small tea shop and decided I will drink a tea. That should also provide me with the two one rupee coins I required. I did not like the tea but it was not the worst tea I had. I handed a ten rupee note and got back five. I was disappointed. I thought the tea would cost a round seven rupee and this would result in my having the required coins. But it only cost an arbitrary five. So I got down to asking the chaiwallah for the change. He gave me an odd look but was kind enough to provide the required coins. I felt like a king for I had three one rupee coins in my possession.

We reached the breakfast table at exactly the time the bus arranged to take the guests to the marriage hall was leaving. The brother of the bride walked around the hotel reminding people politely that it was time to leave. I admired his patience as he did not raise his voice or appear flustered. The shy smile stayed on his lips. No wonder he had chosen to teach right after his college. If he can't teach, who can?

It took us another thirty minutes to begin our journey to the marriage hall. I got into the car with a worry in my head and stomach. Food is a big part of the marriage. So it is imperative one land at the marriage hall with a half full stomach but mine was one and a half full.

The hall was on the second floor of a plush hotel. As we arrived, the groom and others in the family were preparing to ascend to the second floor. They were standing in a group with the garlanded groom in the centre. Photographs and videos of the family were taken by one and all. Suddenly, a voice asked for the brother of the groom. The brother was busy shepherding the guests to the hall and was not to be seen anywhere. As the doors of the elevator closed, he magically appeared in front of its door.

The groom walked into the big hall with flowers showering on him. A bright smile played on his face and on everyone else's face too. A set of people ran ahead and besides him with mobile in their hands recording his every move. But he did not seem flustered and seemed to enjoy the attention. Another set of people hurried to occupy the best seats in the hall. The groom sat on the stage waiting for the ceremony to begin. As we entered the hall we realized that the bride and groom would go through two ceremonies. The first was a malayalee ceremony that took place inside the hall.

Before we proceed, I will spend a few lines in describing a malayalee wedding. The malayalee marriage ceremony is considered the Usain Bolt of marriage ceremonies; it takes less than 10 second from start to finish. The Western Ghats kept the external influences away from the malayalees for long and hence they did not bring the fire to their ceremonies. Originally the malayalee marriage started and ended with the wedding feast called sadya. People were invited for the kalyanasadya and they went for it understanding that someone was getting married to someone else. At some point of time, malayalees ran into people from other parts of the country and the world who bragged about their marriage ceremonies. The malayalees felt miserable and decided they had to do something about the ceremonies. They initially tried aping the outsiders and started using fire in their ceremonies. This led to disastrous results. So out goes the fire and in comes a vessel containing rice with husk and a coconut flower placed on the top like fire. The malayalees also accepted the concept of tying the chain around the girl's neck as they understood that marriage is the process of chaining two people to each other. The malayalees also liked the idea of going around the fire and hence decided that the bride and groom will hold each other's palm and walk around the make believe fire. Malayalees innate sense of efficiency resulted in the curtailing of the usual seven rounds to three.

Beyond these, no one is really sure what else is a part of the malayalee wedding. Some adorn the bride's forehead with vermilion (that would be a good name for a rock group) while others exchange rings. Some exchange dresses while others make the bride and groom garland each other. Some do all this standing while others prefer it done sitting. These days most people prefer to remain on the safer side and include all of the above in the marriage ceremonies. Of course, including all of them is not a safe solution for everyone has their own ordering of the ceremonies. If you find yourself in the middle of a malayalee marriage, you will hear "why are they doing it in this order?" raising from all sides. Fortunately, all malayalee marriages have a person sitting on stage who is impervious to these comments and knows exactly how the marriage should proceed.

All of a sudden there was a commotion. The photographers left the groom alone on the stage and ran towards the entrance. The bride entered with flowers showering as in the case of groom. She had a quiet expression. The photographs clicked on all sides as she walked towards the stage to join the groom. Once the ceremonies started the official and amateur photographers crowded around the stage. The groom's sister stood tense besides the stage. She stood watching the ceremony a good metre and half away from the stage and shooed anyone who blocked her view. I noticed the mobile phone in her hand connected to the PA system and realized that she was the DJ for the ceremony. She had the unenviable job of playing the right tune at the right moment. The most important moment came when the groom tied the chain around the bride's neck. The sister touched her screen and the kettimelam blared through the PA system. Many on the stage looked around and smiled at the sister who for the first time that morning took in a lungful of air.

The malayalee wedding was completed in the predefined ten seconds. The groom was whisked away for a change in attire. He came back and the bride and groom settled down to be wedded as per the customs of the bride's side. The wedding took place in an open balcony under the winter sun and was watched by many with rapt attention. Some preferred staying indoors and observe the proceeding through a large glass window.

By the time the ceremony ended, some of us managed to get food on to our plates. As I mentioned earlier, the dessert was the main point of discussion though every item on the menu was as delicious as the other. As an attendee of a marriage, it is one's duty to meet the bride and groom, hand over the gift and stand for the photographs with the couple with a cheesy smile stuck to your face. We stood in the line to meet the couple. As I reached out to greet the couple, the bride decided to touch my feet. I jumped back in shock. Though I had long passed the age to be shocked when someone touches my feet, I was hanging around, after a long time, with people older than me. As a result, I had for a moment forgotten my age. But the bride brought the memory of my age back. Unfortunately, I did not remember any of the line from the serial "Mahabarath" and could only say "gluck".

I congratulated the couple and added a feather to their cap by mentioning that this was the first time I attended two marriages between the same set of people in a day. I am not sure if either of them heard what I said but the groom was kind enough to laugh.

The memorable twenty four hours was drawing to an end. Suddenly everyone had to leave. Everyone felt that time was running out. The busy marriage hall and hotel corridors started emptying as luggage and people rolled out. The goodbye hugs seemed subdued compared to hugs from a day earlier. We promised we will meet regularly. A promise we found difficult to keep earlier. Earlier in the day, I had tried to be a perfectly painful uncle by informing the groom's DJ sister that we will meet next for her marriage. But she laughed it off. So we have no choice but to pray and check the family Whatsapp group for wedding invitations.

In the meanwhile, the young couple have started their journey, which I am sure will be a journey worth remembering. As for the rest of us, we journey in many directions and hope that someday our paths will cross.

Monkeying around

"There is a monkey is in the games field!"

No one seemed to care and everyone continued with their work.

"Hey! Can't you all hear? There is a monkey in the football field. Someone help me shoo it away."

"You mean a real monkey?"

"Yes."

"Does it have a tail?"

"Of course it does! What's wrong with you?"

"Oh my god! A real monkey in our games field. We should shoo it away."

"That was what I said."

A little later...

"We have shooed it away."

"Thank god"

"I agree. It was dangerous for the real monkey. But how did you differentiate the monkey from the others in the field?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know how you managed to differentiate. The monkey had something that the others did not have."

"What?"

"A tail"

*************

The invigilator took over the charge from the previous invigilator exactly an hour after the exam started. He sat down and looked at the students writing the exam. He was shocked to find that only six of the 16 students were writing the exam. The rest of them were staring at him with a wicked smile on their face. He walked up to one and whispered "why are you not writing the exam?" "Because we have finished the paper" came back the loud response to everyone's amusement. The invigilator shushed the students and started pacing the hall. He looked at each of the students. Except for the six, the others stared right back at him and smiled. Some tried to enter into a conversation but he walked away. He decided to sit in the chair near the entrance of the hall as he did not want to disturb the six who were writing the exam still.

The student sitting on the first row got up and walked towards the table containing the water jugs. He took many seconds more than the required to reach the table. He took more time than required to pour the water into the glass and continuing the pattern took more time than required to drink the water. He placed the glass back and in a Ninja style movement bent down and picked a chalk from the floor. He was not as quick as a Ninja and as a result the invigilator noticed the action. He came back and sat in his seat. He stared at the invigilator for some time before bending down and writing something on his desk with chalk. He continued the routine for sometime. The invigilator tried to play nonchalant by staring at the trees through the window on the far side of the hall. But the nonchalance did not last for more than a few minutes. He got up and walked towards the student who looked at him with a smile. He pointed at the caricature he had drawn on the desk and asked "does it not look like you?" To the invigilator's annoyance, it looked like a caricature of him. He shushed the student and walked away.

The students were in various stages of boredom. One was writing the word "EXAM" on her writing pad. Two of them were conversing using their hands and eyes. Another was checking through his stationary pouch. He was happy to find something that could be thrown in the dustbin, which was placed at the other end of the room. He got up and walked very slowly towards the dustbin. A girl was drawing an arrow on her ankle. Another girl was drawing a web like pattern on her desk with a chalk. The invigilator was surprised at the level of artistry displayed during the physical education exam. A girl seemed to be sleeping with her head on the desk. Another girl looked at the clock in the front and almost instantly turned around to look at the clock at the other end of the room. She shook her head in disappointment when she found the time on the two clocks were the same.

A girl requested if she could borrow a highlighter pen from her neighbour. The invigilator hesitated but ultimately let the girl borrow the pen. He moved on and passed the fellow who had drawn the caricature and found he was busy giving the caricature a shoulder enveloped in a shirt. The invigilator gritted his teeth and moved away quickly. During the next round, he found the girl who had borrowed the highlighter pen painting the nails on her left hand. From time to time, she paused to look at her green nail in appreciation. The invigilator's mind could not take in any more acts of boredom. He went back to his chair, took out a book and started reading it. 

Two minutes prior to the end time of the exam, the students raised a clamour. He got up, collected the answer sheets and the let the bored students free.

Athidi Devo Bhava

I noticed them on the bus. They were sitting on the seats across the aisle. They did not seem young enough to be called boys and girls and yet not old enough to be called a men and women. But from my vant(-)age point of view, I decided to call them boy and girl. The girl seemed to be guiding the boy about something. From the discussions I realized they were Americans. Also, their tone of discussion lacked the familiarity quotient and I decided they had only known each other for a few days or weeks. As the doors of the bus opened, the boy and I stood up. We looked at each other. I was in one of those rare benevolent mood and let him go ahead. He thanked me politely. The girl while picking up her large backpack dropped it and a number of hands helped her in picking it up. She thanked her helpers with a hint of embarrassment in her voice.

As I walked towards my seat, I saw them sitting in the seat ahead of mine. The girl was sitting by the window and the boy by the aisle. In the middle was an Indian. The girl had her head down as she busied herself with her mobile phone. The boy had a book in his hands. As he opened it, the Indian in the middle spoke. The conversation went as follows.

“Where are you from?”

“We are from the US”

“Why are going to Chennai?”

“We are going to Vellore from Chennai.”

“Why are you going to Vellore?”

“We are going to CMC, Vellore.”

“Any health problem?”

“No! We are studying to be Doctors.”

“Oh! MBBS?”

“No MD. In the US…”

“Oh! MD! You have already done your MBBS eh?”

“No, in the US…”

“You know we have MD in India too.”

“No. We are …”

“It’s very hard. This MBBS and MD and all.”

“But in this US MD is equivalent to MBBS in India. We are in the final year.”

“Oh is it! What are you doing in Jaipur?”

“Sightseeing. How about you? Are you from Chennai?”

“No I am not from Chennai. I have been working there for 3 years.”

“Oh! Are you from Jaipur?”

“No I came for a friend’s wedding. So are you in India for sightseeing?”

“No, we have come to study at CMC, Vellore. But in the weekends we travel to see places. We have been to Kerala and now Jaipur.”

“That’s fun! Have you seen the Golden Temple at Vellore?”

“No, we have heard about it though.”

“It is beautiful. You should go.”

“Sure! Will do.”

The two remained silent for some time. The boy opened his book and started reading. A few minutes later,…

“Have you gone to Pondicherry? You should. It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah! We have been to Pondicherry.”

“See this picture. How beautiful it is! You should see Pondicherry in the night. Its even more beautiful”

The guy in the middle shoves a phone on the boy’s face. He looks at the phone and mumbles something. The guys starts talking about other places in India that he thinks is beautiful. The boy looks at his book and tries his best to read. From time to time, he shakes his head and says “mmm hmmm”. The guy rambles on for many minutes and gets back to questioning about the boy’s background. In the ensuing minutes, the boy gives out the following details about his life in the US. 

• He is not from US but from Canada and so is a Canadian.
• He was born in Chicago but moved with his parents to New York.
• Someone he knows had come to India a few years back and had told him about the studying and staying in India. This inspired him to come to India.
• The north of US is cold. He was also forced to divulge that Canada is colder but the south of US tends to get hot like India.
• He was planning to be in CMC Vellore for 1 month after which he planned to spend 3 weeks going around India.
• He loved India and would definitely come back for a vacation later.
• He was staying at a hostel provided by CMC Vellore.
• When he had come to Jaipur he and the girl were sitting in entirely different rows but due to sheer coincidence they got seat in the same row.

Most of the conversation took place even before the flight had taken off. Once the flight took off, he placed his earphones inside his ears. The girl only looked in the direction of the other two once.